We recently connected with Paula Espinoza-Pizarro and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Paula, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?
Developing confidence and self-esteem is work that is done daily. How do I accept the person that I see in the mirror, and how do I accept the person I see in the mirror with the behaviors that she engages in, or is it fully acceptance of how I am? It is a little bit of an existential topic for me, but true confidence for me relies on how much will I do for myself to provide me with the live of my dreams.
Essentially since moving to the US as a teenager, I developed a desire to step out of the comfort zone. After 7 years of living in OH and not finding a purposeful reason to pay rent and work a customer service job, I decided to save money so I could travel and see other realities. I did not have a plan, nor knew how it would happen, but by putting myself in this new environment I was able to meet people that in the end hosted me in their home country. After 8 months of living off a backpack, I returned home but now in a new state. This was the first time I felt true confidence.
Eventually after some years and finding my calling in the music industry, which by challenging myself in pursuing my bachelors degree I was able to find myself in new uncomfortable settings. I took advantage of the low rate for a music badge for SXSW, so I told myself I would attend and do it without the help of alcohol. Alcohol was my companion during most of my 20s, so engaging in social settings without it was not the ideal for my self-esteem. Especially with something as important as making connections in the music industry, which is the career I am in today. I remember calling my dad and telling him how frustrated I felt about how shy I was, and how harder it was for me to approach people. Perhaps it is also because I am a woman that in night-time settings I felt more vulnerable. My dad told me that he was also shy growing up, which knowing him my whole life I would’ve never expected him to be that way. I felt relieved that confidence was a skill I could develop, so I did that. Attended lots of live music shows alone and engaged in conversations with strangers, which has opened up my mind to what it is I want to accomplish in my professional career.
Today, I am able to attend events alone and connect with people without the “help” of alcohol. Learning about my shortcomings and the reasons of my behaviors through therapy, I have been able to accept myself just the way I am. Realizing that the inner validation is what defines the love I give myself, rather than the approval of outsiders. It has been an extended journey, but challenging myself to new environments, rewiring my brain with new habits, and letting go of perfectionism is how I ensure I develop my confidence and self-esteem.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
About three years ago I had moved from CA to NC, and while I knew I wanted to learn more about the music scene, I had this idea of learning about local musicians and their story. I found myself interested in what is it about musicians that brings them to share their art, their vulnerabilities, and getting to know them on a more human level. Especially, those artists that are just starting, and news outlets haven’t caught up yet about their value.
At the time I lived in Greensboro, NC, which with the help of Curt Meinhold I was able to start recording video interviews with local artists – the channel is called Melopolimania. Melomana being someone who is addicted to music, and poli because poly meaning many, referencing not wanting to be boxed down to one genre as I love all great music (and without the y for aesthetic purposes haha).
This brought local NC musicians to learn about what I did, as well as me learning more about the scene from the surrounding areas. Eventually, Curt had to close his studio, but with the help of a friend I was able to start shooting the interviews in different parts of the state.
Melopolimania, the instagram, is a diary of all the music I like and the artists I’ve seen live. It is a form of connecting with other like-minded people who love the same music I do.
As this is a one person operation and I work two jobs, one being a booking agent, and the other supporting my music career, I am slowly going back to doing interviews again, plus looking for help in editing the videos. I am certain that the more I do it, the more I will get to build a network of up and coming artists. I usually try to interview people who are not into it transactionally, but more of having a genuine conversation.
The best part about doing these interviews is getting to known the artists’ reasoning, their upbringing, and finding what it is that moves them to pursue music. I am not a musician myself, but I used to sing covers with my friends back in Chile, so in part by listening to them share about their life, I get to live vicariously through them. Also, I feel like I get to celebrate the fact that they put their soul and heart into something they create, and I am able to be a vessel to show that with the world.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
1. Curiosity – I believe that being curious is something that has impacted my whole life. Curious about my own shortcomings, how I can be a better person, curious about how other people have done what I want to do, and learning from them. I believe that without being curious about other realities and perspectives, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I think curiosity and the DIY method is what has brought a lot of my goals come to fruition. When it comes to the interviews, curiosity shows up in researching the artists thoroughly, which determines the quality of the conversation as I try to dig deeper with the information that already exists.
2. Listening – This is a skill I had to learn due to my bachelors degree, that also enhanced a personal relationship I was in some years ago. In essence, listening has opened up a whole new world of opportunities. In order to listen effectively, one has to stop speaking with the intention of listening without responding. To truly listen, is to hear the message the other person has to say with patience. Learning to be comfortable with silence is something that I had to improve greatly, as I was one of those people who would overshare because of my lack of confidence. Learning to listen opens up a whole world of new ideas, as one is able to form new questions to what is being shared.
3. Progress over perfection – This is my kryptonite. I am a recovered perfectionist that still engages in some of those behaviors. It is a work in progress. Learning the reasons why I desire perfection, has lead me to accept the progress, which is not linear. Accepting that setbacks are part of the progress, have given me a new perspective on what it means to grow. As I am in a new role as a booking agent, there is a learning curve that I find myself dreading to acknowledge, but as one of my mentors said “you have failed when you stop trying.” Perfectionism is a difficult habit to stop engaging in, but I have realized that it will only prevent me from living my life of my truest self.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://incredibletalentgroup.com/roster
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melopolimania/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/paula-espinoza-pizarro/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@melopolimania
- Other: https://bandcamp.com/polispinoza
