We were lucky to catch up with Pearl Knapp-chiarenza recently and have shared our conversation below.
Pearl, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?
My resilience comes from a lifelong journey of self-discovery shaped by early experiences as a people pleaser. I feared that saying no would make me seem selfish or unlikable, a mindset that persisted until 2015 when I took an identity and destiny course. Despite weeks of introspection, I still defined myself by the roles I played—mom, wife, volunteer—so I began a deeper exploration of who I truly was.
A turning point came when I found a rock, which became my anchor for saying “no” and prioritizing myself. This simple act empowered me to pursue passions I’d set aside, like writing, hosting retreats, and speaking. As I embraced these changes, I stepped into my SHERO self—Strong, Happy, Empowered, Radiant, and Original.
My resilience was tested further when I lost my son, Matt, in a tragic accident. Just before he passed, he acknowledged how much I had grown. His memory now fuels my determination to live resiliently, honoring the person I’ve become and the life I’ve built.
I’m currently focused on helping women understand that they can say “NO” as excitedly as they say “yes,” freeing themselves from being defined solely by their roles and titles. This mission is at the heart of my latest project, the “Soulful Self-Care Popin Pearl Tour.” We’re taking a vintage camper, transformed into a luxurious mobile living room, across the country to engage in empowering conversations with women. We’ll discuss the challenges they face in self-care, offering tools to help them communicate their realistic expectations and prioritize themselves.
In addition, I’m excited to announce the upcoming launch of a book titled Beyond Skin Deep – Stories of Cross-Cultural Adoptions. This project is deeply personal, as it honors our son Matt, who was adopted and was the only mixed-race child in our family. The book is a project he wanted to do and will share family stories, on success, challenges, and practical tips for raising adopted children from different cultural backgrounds, reflecting their journeys alongside Matt’s and our family.
In addition to these projects, I’ll be speaking on more stages, spreading messages of self-care, empowerment, and embracing our true selves.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
As a coach, my work is centered around empowering women to reclaim their identities by stepping into their SHERO selves—Strong, Happy, Empowered, Radiant, and Original. One of the most powerful tools I offer is helping women understand that “No” is a complete sentence. It’s about teaching them to say “No” with the same enthusiasm they might say “Yes,” and in doing so, reclaim their joy and sense of self.
This work is deeply fulfilling because I witness firsthand how transformative it is when women stop living solely by the titles they wear—mom, wife, professional—and start living for what truly brings them happiness. For example, I’ve helped women find the confidence to have difficult conversations, like telling their spouse that a new dining table is not just a want, but a need, because it speaks to their love language and personal joy. It’s a small shift, but one that carries profound implications for how they value their needs.
Another example comes from women who feel stuck or joyless in their careers. Through our work together, they rediscover what they love about their work or find new paths that align with their true passions. It’s incredibly rewarding to see someone light up again when they reconnect with what they’re truly passionate about.
The annual Soulful Self-Care PJ Retreats are truly the heart of my work. These retreats are not just a getaway; they’re a profound experience where women can finally step away from the constant demands of their lives and focus solely on themselves. When they arrive, without makeup and with all pretenses left behind, they’re making a commitment to explore who they are beneath the roles they play—whether it’s mom, wife, or professional.
During these retreats, something transformative happens. Women begin to realize that they only have this one life, and it’s up to them to make it meaningful. They gain a deep understanding that by constantly saying “Yes” to others, they’ve often been saying “No” to themselves, to their dreams, and to their joy. Through the retreat’s activities, discussions, and moments of introspection, they come to see that using the power of “No” is not about being selfish—it’s about reclaiming their time, their energy, and their lives.
By the time the retreat ends, these women leave with a new perspective. They understand that in order to truly thrive, they must prioritize themselves and their happiness. They realize that setting boundaries and saying “No” when needed is essential to living a life that feels true and fulfilling. It’s not just about the goals they set or the dreams they rediscover—it’s about knowing that they have the right, and the power, to take time for themselves, to nurture their own well-being, and to live with purpose.
Many women leave the retreat with a renewed sense of urgency to live authentically, armed with the tools and confidence to make changes that reflect their true desires. Whether it’s changing careers, starting a new business, or simply carving out time each day for themselves, they walk away knowing that they deserve to live a life that honors who they truly are. And that’s the ultimate gift of the retreat—helping them to see that they have the power to create the life they want, starting with the simple but profound act of saying “No” to what doesn’t serve them, and “Yes” to what does. Come say “Yes” to you at our 9th Annual Soulful Self-Care PJ Retreat 9/18/25 to 9/22/25 by visiting WSLivingRetreats.com
Understanding that coaching can be a new and sometimes intimidating journey for many, I incorporate a mental fitness quiz paired with a mini coaching session. This approach helps ease clients into the process, giving them a taste of what it feels like to work on themselves in a supportive and empowering environment. My ultimate goal is to guide women to live authentically, finding joy in their lives, and confidently making choices that honor their true selves.
What’s most special about my work is seeing these transformations—watching women go from feeling lost or confined by their roles to embracing their SHERO selves, full of joy, confidence, and a renewed sense of purpose. It’s about helping them understand that they don’t have to be everything to everyone and that they deserve to live lives that reflect their deepest values and passions. If you would like to start your session you can by visiting https://wsliving.myflodesk.com/minicoaching
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
I would absolutely advise to invest on areas where you are not as strong to become more competent and well-rounded. For example, advocating for myself and learning how to say “No” was difficult for me, but became easier when I practiced and became more well-rounded.
Okay, so before we go, is there anyone you’d like to shoutout for the role they’ve played in helping you develop the essential skills or overcome challenges along the way?
Looking back on my journey, three qualities that have been most impactful are empathy, independence, and openness to learning. These qualities have guided me through challenges and allowed me to grow into the person I am today.
Empathy has allowed me to connect deeply with others, understanding their struggles and offering genuine support. Independence has empowered me to live authentically, making decisions that align with my true self rather than what others expect. And openness to learning has kept me evolving, embracing new experiences, and continuously improving.
For those early in their journey, my advice is to trust the process and stay true to yourself. Developing these qualities doesn’t happen overnight—it requires patience, self-reflection, and a willingness to step out of your comfort zone. Start by embracing who you are and what you value. Learn to say “No” when something doesn’t align with your goals, and don’t be afraid to carve out time for yourself. Be open to new experiences and perspectives, and allow yourself to grow from them.
Remember, your journey is uniquely yours. By cultivating empathy, independence, and a lifelong love for learning, you’ll find the strength to overcome obstacles, the confidence to pursue your passions, and the wisdom to create a life that truly reflects who you are.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.wsliving.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pearl_chiarenza/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pearlchiarenza
Image Credits
Lucyna Alesandra Portraits
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