We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Phil Caragol. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Phil below.
Phil, so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?
I was a frustrated bully in early grade school. At 52, I learned that I had undiagnosed ADHD. In those early years, I was a misfit, a perpetual motion machine plagued with racing thoughts, who didn’t fit in. I’m still ashamed that I took out my frustrations on schoolmates who would eventually become my best friends. Deep down, all I wanted was to be a nice, normal kid.
I found my purpose through the dual waking nightmares of isolation and rejection. No other kids wanted to be around me, an unpredictable runaway freight train barreling down the tracks toward a herd of unsuspecting kittens. They didn’t know when the quiet kid would lash out in rage, a human ping pong ball with impulse control problems and an explosive temper.
That loneliness, and the guilt that came with it for hurting people, drove me to find my purpose: Lifting up friends, family and strangers instead of putting them down. I cracked open to the splendor of the universe—including, but not limited to, the healing power of humor, compassion for the outcasts, passion for connecting people and ideas, seeing the beauty in disconnects (like the time a dog lifted his leg on a “NO DOGS ALLOWED” sign at the beach).
I learned that “to uplift” is “to actively listen and observe.” There’s so much to see and experience, if we just devote the time and energy to look up, every day, everywhere, and with everyone we meet.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
My 40+ year career has been in the world of advertising agencies on Madison Ave., in San Francisco, and my own virtual agency. I started in the media dept. at Young & Rubicam in NY, 18 floors of ad agency, a small city, really. I was fortunate to be part of the early BMW “Ultimate Driving Machine” campaign, Dr. Pepper’s “Most Original Soft Drink” campaign, among other big national brands. That said, media fell short for me, not quite opening a window to my purpose of uplifting people (even if it was advertising).
I befriended an associate creative director at a big agency in SF. He gave me my first shot at becoming a copywriter at a Friday night party on Nob Hill. “We’re developing TV concepts for a new Safeway campaign. Send me some scripts.” This was way before email. On Monday morning, I laid 15 scripts on his desk before he arrived at the office. The next day, I became the agency’s newbie copywriter. I wasn’t instantly accepted. Creatives can be picky about who they admit to the fold. I was a media numbers guy and would have to prove myself worthy of the creative crown.
I wish I could say I hit it out of the park. I came up with ideas that were way outside the comfort zone of brands like the conservative Clorox Company. Layers of agency management twisted and squeezed my ideas until they no longer had any resemblance to the original idea. I was all-in on improving a creative idea, but not in on using it as a base to massage the idea into something totally different and then call it your own.
So I quit. And then found out that my beloved wife, Susie, was with child. My anxiety-diffusing line that helped me cope—”I may have quit my job, but at least my wife is pregnant.” I had six months to start making enough money to support a family and launched my own virtual agency that grew to around 100 independent writers, art directors, PR people, consumer researchers, media planners, film crews, photographers and account managers. Mid-sized Bay Area clients slowly came on board. Within a year, the business absorbed 70 hours a week of my life with enough in billings to pay the mortgage, food costs, and keep the lights on.
I now say I’m “rewired”, not “retired.” I have one major client. A great partner is doing most of the work. I just finished the manuscript for my humor memoir, THE BLUNDER YEARS, about growing up as a scatterbrained kid with undiagnosed ADHD during the baby boom years in the Norman Rockwell suburbia of Long Island. I write and sing original songs (some with F-bombs), play acoustic guitar, and just started piano lessons. I run a student mentor program at the University of Colorado, lead a men’s support group, and am buffalo-helmeted, face-painted, and stadium-stampeding CU superfan Buffalo Phil.
In other word, life is good.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
DON’T LET FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN HOLD YOU BACK: Every successful individual in human history has taken one step into the unknown, the first of many steps forward and backward to finally reaching their dream.
LOVE YOURSELF: We’re our own worst enemies. No one finds faults about you like you. There are reasons why this happens. It could be your parents filled your head with their own problems, teachers who are unhappy about their own lives, “friends” who are quick to criticize because of they see their shortcomings in you. My advice: toss all that brain trash; change your way of thinking from “I have little to offer” to “No one can do what I do the way I do it.”
GIVE & RECEIVE: Help a friend or stranger whenever you can—with no strings attached. They’ll never forget your compassion and generosity. Some will even return your support with more than you can imagine.
Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?
Take a deep breath and step back. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has made a huge difference in my stress and anxiety level. Google it. Many self-assessment processes are easy to download. It cuts through the B.S. and helps you gain clarity quickly about: • How do you feel right now?
• What’s causing the anxiety?
• What facts/proof points support or negate your supposition?
• What can you realistically do to make the situation better?
