We recently connected with Porschea Necoal and have shared our conversation below.
Porschea, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?
The premise of my resilience was established from birth. The multifaceted experience of life is what cultivated the strength and courage to maintain a strong posture of “never give up”. The tutelage and foundational support of my paternal grandmother was the breeding ground for developing what was seemingly a built in innate ability that I possessed. She prepared me to be an adaptive thinker by embracing challenges as opportunities to advance in becoming a well rounded individual. She taught me coping skills and the importance of good emotional intelligence. If I were to be a good problem solver, I needed to operate from fact and logic because emotions are temporary and frequently varied. Instead of placing such heavy emphasis on temporary moments, I should lean into my purpose and center my focus on fulfilling what I was created to do and who I was created to be. She warned me that life would throw many challenges, changes and distractions on my journey to destiny and that no matter how many times things knocked me down, there was no other option than to get back up. This type of coaching prevented me from believing that giving up was ever an option. Having experience success and failure gave me strategy for future difficulties, using current outcomes as fuel for how to handle trials to come. The death of my mother, daughter and the immediate divorce that ensued all within a 5 month timespan, was my sparring partner to put all that I had learned into action. I learned that life gives no mercy and is an opponent that everyone would face. Never giving up, is the only way to win. My mother passed away January 9, 2010 and 14 years later. I am still unsure if I ever really grieved that loss. I am absolutely sure, that I kept going. Two of my younger siblings, at the time where still in high school, and decided that they wanted live with my then husband and I in our 2 bedroom townhome with our two children. My son was five years old at the time, just as young, innocent, vibrant, intelligent yet aware with the wisdom of an adult. My daughter had been diagnosed with Classic Infantile Tay Sachs Disease with a fatal prognosis of life expectancy being no greater than 5 years of age. Despite balancing all of this, I had a funeral to plan and the responsibility of being a wife, a mom to a disabled and dying daughter, a mom to a son full of life, a wife in a marriage that was experiencing a rough patch, and big sister to two teenagers in high school. My late grandmother’s voice was the resounding soundtrack to my life during this time. I was tired, hurt, frustrated, confused, numb and only 22 years old. I never quit. Giving up never crossed my mind.
On May 30, 2010, four months after my mothers transition, my daughter decided to follow suit. Bewilderment had soon set in as I made every attempt to wrap my head around how the woman that gave birth to me and the baby girl that I gave birth to had both left me in such a short timeframe. I felt robbed and setup as this was not the life I planned for. I learned a valuable lesson about death which was that it had no rules that it played by. My mom was 40 years old and my daughter was 3 at their untimely demise. I was always under the impression that children should bury their parents once they had reached an age that resembled old and gray. A month after the burial of my daughter, my then husband and I decided to get a divorce. Life had to keep going. It matter none that I was going from dual income to a one income home. I was still responsible for making sure that my son returned to some sense of normalcy therefore, grieving would have to wait. During this time, I realized that as much preparation as I had growing up, there were somethings that my grandmother had not taken into account. I was fighting wounded, bleeding, and with the last bit of strength I had. Life had delivered it’s greatest blow and I was left feeling the effects of it. Life would continue on as it does. Grief, death, loss, never seem to make time stand still except for the person trying to desperately navigate these unexpected twist and turns. My life’s trajectory had been altered and life wasn’t letting up on the brutal beating that I was taking.
My son and I ended up homeless and sleeping in my vehicle after going 6 1/2 years fighting life. It was determined to take me out. It was as if life was angry that I kept surviving; that no matter how many times it knocked me down, I kept getting up. My mom, my daughter and my marriage being taken away wasn’t good enough so here comes homelessness. This season was meant for me not to survive. Don’t get me wrong, I was no victim but I also wasn’t a villain either. Yes, I made SOME choices that contributed to things not working out in my favor. Looking back, I realize that it was all necessary and without any of that, I wouldn’t be who and where I am today. I wish that I had time to tell you about the tumultuous relationships that caused post traumatic stress. I wish that I had time to lean into how the homelessness affected both my son and I. I wish that I had time to expound on how the drugs that we use isn’t always alcohol and other substances. Sometimes it is seeking love in all of the wrong places and people pleasing. We tolerate more than should at the expense of losing pieces of ourselves along the way. Instead of finding courage, we concede to compromise because everything with us is broken.
Instead, what I can share is that I never gave up. I made a decision and covenant with myself and my creator that as so long as I opened my eyes everyday, I would continue to press towards the high mark of my calling and purpose for even existing in the first place. Life eventually made room for me to show up and take up space being my authentic self. I left it with no other choice. My testimony today is that you can make it through anything if you just don’t quit.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I am an influential artistic creator and cultivator who has been gifted, anointed, and graced to wear many hats. I am an author, worldwide counselor, and evangelical leader of The Repair Room Ministries where I boastfully join forces with my husband in ministry. From the inception of my life, I experienced dreams that foreshadowed what would become in the future. Consciously, I have always had this intuitive deep feeling of knowing much that was never told to me. Spiritually, it is called discernment. For years, I shied away from that inner feeling of knowing because what I knew didn’t always represent happiness. Sometimes it forewarned of death and other tragedies. After years of misunderstanding who I was really called to be, I later embraced my prophetic gift, in which I now walk boldly in. Author Porschea Necoal and Porschea Necoal Consulting firm falls under the diverse umbrella of Porschea Necoal the Brands. My consulting firm specializes in professional, personal and leadership development. I am a brand strategist and visionary with special focus in business proposals, pitch decks, content writing and emotional intelligence facilitator. In addition to this, I am a transformational writing coach where I enjoy developing authors and those aspiring to become authors, hone and enhance their gift of storytelling. Unlocking the creative wellspring of the minds of prolific storytellers inspire me to explore the deepest depths of my own creative expression. I also offer Ghostwriting services to those with a story who struggle to use their God given voice to narrate the stories that lie dormant in the chambers of their brain. I am the co-founder of Agape Vision Publishing where my husband and I run a full-service publishing and musical production company.
I am the proud wife to Grammy nominated music producer, Claras Brown, Jr. and the mom to the son of my universe, John and my guardian angel, Mia. The death of my mother and daughter became the driving force of my passionate advocacy for mental health and therapeutic services. Coupled with my hearts desire to help others transform into the greatest version of themselves, it only made sense for me to become a counselor. What I love most about all that I do, is that it all embodies who I am and what I was created to do. Whether its publishing, counseling or ministry, I am the compass in many lives that lead to better. Through motivation, inspiration and authenticity, I have given language to those who desired to become something that their past once told them they would never be. I have witnessed my words, transform and reconcile broken relationships, and I have led several souls back to a place that is higher than I.
My latest endeavors consist of a Neurodivergent and Special Needs anthology where I have gathered and sphere headed 8 intellectual authors to write about their personal journey on this subject. In April of 2024 my ministry, The Repair Room Ministry, will host a conference designed to be the healing hub for Marriages, divorcee’s and singles on the fence about marriage. We will unpack the biblical blueprint and kingdom principles of overcoming trauma and getting back to healthy and loving unions.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
There are some key components that I learned in my corporate America days that later became transferrable skills that are applicable to life and obtaining success.
1. Consistency- Major in studying your counterparts! I became a master at listening and discerning the needs of those around me. I would then morph myself into the asset of these needs. Whenever there was a problem, I was the solution. I read body language, studied posture and took in the culture and corporate language being spoken. I observed everything and showed up everyday executing all that I learned.
2. Have great character-Change is inevitable so adaptability was and still is a necessity. Always be a person of integrity. Being honest, trustworthy, reliable and charismatic can take you places that degrees could never. Earn everything you get because after all, nothing is free and just given to you anyway.
3. Be Coachable-If you want to go somewhere, find someone who has already been where you want to go. Be a sponge and absorb as much knowledge and wisdom as your vessel can contain. Identify your strengths and weakness and find a coach who can help you manage both of them.
One of our goals is to help like-minded folks with similar goals connect and so before we go we want to ask if you are looking to partner or collab with others – and if so, what would make the ideal collaborator or partner?
I am always looking to partner and collaborate with likeminded individuals and those who service the same markets as I do. Our publishing company, AVP, is set to take a Literacy Missions Trip in Ghana, Africa in October of 2024. I would love to take other authors and publishing companies along for this journey. We are accepting donations and books to aid in care packages and library planting. AVP also has slots available for established authors or those who aspire to be. Unlock your creative expression or contribute to anthologies that target life altering scenarios in the world today. For more information or to partner, please email [email protected]
Partnering with other ministries who are heavily focused on marriages or are looking for someone to come in and strengthen different ministries within their local churches are high on our list to do. We have several conferences and workshops coming up and we would love to strengthen our numbers by joining forces with others who are dedicated to mental health and healing the overall wellbeing of others. If anyone is in need of premarital, grief, addiction, abuse, trauma, mental health or marriage counseling, please email [email protected]
Contact Info:
- Website: www.therepairroomheals.com
- Facebook: Porschea Necoal and The Repair Room
- Other: Email: [email protected] for consulting, literary or becoming an author purposes.
