We were lucky to catch up with Preciosa (Prefer PJ) Janae recently and have shared our conversation below.
PJ, thank you so much for joining us today. Let’s jump right into something we’re really interested in hearing about from you – being the only one in the room. So many of us find ourselves as the only woman in the room, the only immigrant or the only artist in the room, etc. Can you talk to us about how you have learned to be effective and successful in situations where you are the only one in the room like you?
I’ve always been a people person. Humans are fascinating and I’ve never lost that curiosity. I don’t like being the only person in the room and in this day and age, it’s still crazy to me that it happens all the time. When I’m faced with that situation, If there isn’t a person in the room that looks like me or my fellow melanted folx, I’ll usually try to find the person that has the most genuine smile/eyes, or something that catches my eye (I love fashion). I start there. We’re obviously in the same space for a reason and I choose to follow up with that. I’m not the sole representation of my heritage but I am the one they’re going to meet. The only thing I can do is be genuine and be authentic. Sometimes I’ll listen more than I’ll speak to see where they fall as people. Other times I’ll speak more as I feel and if something bothers me, I’ll speak up. I don’t have a problem standing my ground or saying how I feel but I always assess the best way to get my point across. Will this person hear/see me, will they understand?, will this be worth the discussion? Otherwise, I just continue to be my bubbly self and connect with those that match my energy:)
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I’m a proud LA native and a versatile creative with a strong queer identity. As a business owner, my focus is on creating inclusive spaces for Polyamory, BDSM, and Kink, highlighting cultural diversity and individual agency. In my role as an Intimacy Coordinator (IC), I advocate for ethical collaborations and consent-driven standards, infusing the entertainment industry with a lil ‘YASSSS’ energy. Personally, I’m dedicated to crafting impactful moments that empower people through diverse creative expressions. Seeing others shine in their uniqueness and comfortable in their skin, truly brings me joy and being apart of something like that is exhilarating.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Curiosity, Joy and adapting with grace. Life is hard, but in this moment, with these circumstances, you are enough. You made it to another day to be different than yesterday. Things take time and when it gets overwhelming take a breath and do something that makes you smile. When things are rough feel it, acknowledge and move forward with that knowledge. Transition is a bitch. I’m still learning how to do that and it’s painful, annoying, exhausting, and at times debilitating. I have support. I have love, I have drive and I have the way I see the world. That is important, that is unique and that is what’s needed to create a slightly better experience than the one I had yesterday.
What’s been one of your main areas of growth this year?
I got diagnosed with Lupus last summer. My cousin was killed by a hit-and-run the week of my fundraiser and my grandma died the day of one of my events. All of this in the span of a month. My body was attacking itself, the world had it out for me and I couldn’t catch my breath. I took time and space and my health continued to decline. I now walk with a cane more often than not and exhaustion is a perpetual state of being most days. Most people don’t know this, but my closest peeps do. I’ve had to learn to be less independent, more vulnerable, slowwwwww down, and accept help. It’s new, it’s complicated, it’s frustrating and the f*c*ing system is THEE worst. The biggest thing I’ve learned is the importance of having a strong tribe, and being my best advocate. It was easy to advocate for others and things I’m passionate about but I forgot to keep my cup filled. So I reclaimed my time and understood it’s value. I’m still my goofy, extremely extroverted, ball of fun, but it’s more strategic and intentional now. Life be life-ing and sometimes all I need to f*c*ing do is rest and laugh my a*s off at the sheer audacity of it all. It really is the best medicine.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.kinkinkolor.com
- Instagram: kinkinkolor
- Facebook: kinkinkolor
- Linkedin: Preciosa Janae
- Twitter: kinkinkolor
Image Credits
Jenny Rolapp.
