We recently connected with Rachel Bellotti and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Rachel, appreciate you sitting with us today to share your wisdom with our readers. So, let’s start with resilience – where do you get your resilience from?
On the back of my right forearm, from elbow to wrist, my first tattoo that I ever got says, “RESILIENCE” in morse code. That’s the first time I connected with the word. Prior to that I didn’t want to claim anything that had to do with my past. But then my younger brother asked me if I’d get a tattoo so that he could. He believed that if i did first, my parents would be easier on him when he did. I gave him a look and he said, “you could just get a freckle?!” I snort laughed and brushed off the thought. But the seed had been planted. Over the next few months a freckle would become morse code, speaking in dots and lines to the herculean effort of overcoming cancer and sexual assault as a 14 year old in high school. It was an awful time that I am still healing from to be honest. In that moment, though, I realized I had scars from my past that I didn’t choose for myself…why not choose to put marks on my body that I DID choose and that reminded me of how far I’ve come and what I am truly capable of. So, at age 25, 10 years in remission, I gave myself my first self-inflicted mark of RESILIENCE. A morse code tattoo that read, RESILIENCE.
Since then, I have gotten many more tattoos. All have deep meanings, scarred into my skin, of the things I have learned, experienced, or overcome. As I reflect on the bakers dozen of tats (and counting!) that I now have, they all beat to that same RESILIENCE drum in slightly different ways, building on that first morse coded message on my forearm. The red band around my wrist, inspired by my mom, is a reminder to be true to myself. RESILIENCE in the form of authenticity. Next, was the double triangles on my left inner elbow. When I move my arm in and out (like a bicep curl) they turn from a square to a diamond. They mean, “not everything is as it seems”. RESILIENCE as a changed perspective. In Milwaukee, I got my first very large forearm tattoo; geometric shapes with mountains, trees, sun and peonies, which represent the transitory nature of existence. And a symbol that means “fall down seven times, get up eight”. RESILIENCE through failure and change. When I moved to Dallas from Milwaukee, I got my first stick and poke in Marfa, TX that says “OK”. Because in the end, it really will be OK. I guess it has to be because it will be the end. Ok? RESILIENCE as acceptance. Before I broke up with my 7 year relationship and high tailed it out of Dallas in my 24′ RV, I got 3 more – a seagull, an infinity sign, and an equal sign with a tilde on top. Seagulls represent the ability to change your story. RESILIENCE through growth. Infinity for me represents the fact that everything is connected and we need it all to exist. RESILIENCE through the interconnectedness. The equal sign with tilde on top is a math symbol that means “same, same, but different”, like we are all human, but we are all uniquely our version of human. RESILIENCE through common humanity. After this set of tattoos, shit got really real for the second time in my life. I was diagnosed with complex PTSD and suffered from brutal panic attacks (a story for another time), but from this point, I sort of let my life dissolve as I had known it. What was left was me and my 24′ RV named “Rig”. I set out to gather back up the pieces of myself that had been strewn across the cities and streets where I had spent my life. It was time to write a new story. One that was built from the inside out. As I traveled through new states I came across Bozeman, MT, where I got a black rainbow tattood onto my sternum to represent that “home” is wherever I am. RESILIENCE as a rebuilding of the old into new. Next was a heart tattoo that I got with my dear friend while road tripping through Taos, NM. RESILIENCE through love. Tattoo number 11 was done in Colorado Springs after a women’s retreat in Oklahoma City called “The Cosmic Rabbit Hole”. This tattoo is of a half skeleton woman hugging herself on the back of my left upper arm. RESILIENCE through a commitment to stay and not leave before it’s my time to leave this earth. The curvy tattoo on my inner left forearm that reads, “sloooooooooow down” makes the bakers dozen. RESILIENCE through pacing. On my inner right elbow are the handwritten letters from my aunt that passed last year of cancer, “IBNI”. They represent a reminder of a different way of handling emotions. It’s a special message between me and her. RESILIENCE as an acronym for anger management. And for now…the last is four horizontal parallel lines on my left achilles, representing the freedom of the younger versions of myself that almost died. RESILIENCE as freedom.
If you got through all that, I am infinitely impressed by your own resilience for seeing this through. And I am grateful that you stuck around. For me, my resilience came not by choice, but by necessity. I had to be resilient or I would’ve died. Now, it’s a choice. Now, that I don’t have to choose between life or death, I have space to choose resilience when things seem uncomfortable or awkward or chaotic or uncertain. And I get help remembering to choose RESILIENCE from all my ink. From the scars I chose.
*A special thanks to my brother for suggesting a freckle that turned into a journey of RESILIENCE. RESILIENCE as a freckle.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I have a gift in holding space for people to be their most authentic selves, remembering who they truly are. Most people come to me when they feel disconnected from themselves or are in the midst of transition. I am a trusted partner to safely move through change in a way that builds a stronger sense of self and trust in one’s innate value as a human and unique expression as an individual. Right now I am focusing on 1:1 work with individuals and executives as I believe bringing more humanity and authenticity to leadership is a non-negotiable at this time. I am also working to bring my approach to adolescent and young adults going through cancer and survivorship, as well as developing a series of field guides to support in creating seasonal rituals that reconnect you to you.
What sets me apart is that I believe authenticity is the most sustainable way through change, so my focus always begins and ends with building a stronger sense of self, regardless of what we are partnering on. There is no one-size-fits-all, 10-step magic pill solution because we are all unique, so I meet each person where they are at and co-create tailored journeys with each client, for sustainable, authentic, self-led change. Also, I am an Executive Life Coach with a shaved head, which I think is pretty cool that there are corporate spaces that are recognizing that hair length (or lack there of) and tattoos do not determine your skill level.
Bio – I am a Life Integration Coach, and the creator of UN|STUCK spaces LLC, specializing in authenticity and the relationship to yourself. I empower self-expression, harnessing the tools of self and regenerative well-being, to understand who you are and what you’re truly capable of. I have partnered with hundreds of clients, from college students to executives, creatives to engineers, neurodivergent and gifted, to expand their capacity to trust their inner guidance system and ignite sustainable transformation in all areas of life. Learn more at unstuck-unstuck.com. CREDENTIALS + SPECIALTIES: ACC|RMT200|breath + life coach, cPTSD recovery, embracing humanness, identity, moving through major life transitions/disruptions, self-trust, self-empowerment, self-agency, AYA cancer + trauma survivorship, creative expression.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Authenticity, slowing down, and owning my humanness have gotten me through a lot of inner and outer jams in my life. AUTHENTICITY reminds me to come back to me and make sure I listen to my inner guidance as I navigate the world. SLOWING DOWN is easier said than done sometimes, but it is the thing that most helped me start to heal my nervous system. Literally when I feel my temperature rising, I force myself to talk slower. To move slower. To go on a slow walk. To slow my breath. From there I start to remember how to care for myself and I can reconnect to my inner wisdom, clarity, and what’s most important. OWNING MY HUMANNESS is an aspect of mindful self-compassion that has truly changed the way I talk to and treat myself. If you haven’t heard of Kristin Neff, go check out her free meditations and mindful self-compassion workbook – it’s a game changer if you have a negative inner voice that just berates and tries to demolish you. Owning my humanness means that I realize we are all all of it. No one gets out of this life without making mistakes, having annoying tendencies, having superpower gifts, experiencing pain and joy and everything in between. This makes us human. Our unique experiences make our stories ours, but the essence of these experiences are rooted in universal truths, which means we are NOT alone in our experiences. Ever.
My advice for people early in their journey is to slow down in whatever ways you can and get to know themselves as unique individuals and as a humans. Read books. Journal. Self-inquire. Hire a coach. Join communities. Make art, even if it’s bad art. Everything is an opportunity to get to know yourself as you and as a human. Have fun unpacking and exploring you and your humanness. There is no one right path, just an intention and consistent promise to yourself to keep being open to the person you are.
Thanks so much for sharing all these insights with us today. Before we go, is there a book that’s played in important role in your development?
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho taught me that there are no wrong turns only wasted energy by worrying about wrong turns. Keep going. The only way through is through. We only get stuck when we ruminate about the right or wrongness of it.
Women Who Run With Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes is a beautiful book of stories, passed down cross-culturally, about rites of passage for the wild woman archetype. It woke me up to the fact that as a human we can expect to face many nasty shits and things and they can either mangle us or they can teach us or they can mangle and teach us. 🙂
Contact Info:
- Website: https://unstuck-unstuck.com/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachel.bellotti/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rcbellotti/
Image Credits
Primary Image + blue sweatshirt image cred: Raven Lynne Photography, ravenlphotos.com
