Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Rachel Benson. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Hi Rachel, so happy you were able to devote some time to sharing your thoughts and wisdom with our community. So, we’ve always admired how you have seemingly never let nay-sayers or haters keep you down. Can you talk to us about how to persist despite the negative energy that so often is thrown at folks trying to do something special with their lives?
In the world of sexuality, haters and nay-sayers are part of the experience and impossible to hide from. It’s hard to go a week without hearing a story about sexual rights, consent, pronouns, bodily autonomy, etc. and almost everyone has an opinion on these topics. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve seen someone cringe or turn away when I give the answer to the seemingly safe question of “So what do you do?”. The judgment and disdain seeps out and a potential connection is gone. One could easily get lost in that. That is until I see the first time a client says “No” and advocates for themselves or successfully asks someone out on a date or engages with a partner in a healthy and affirming way. The success of my clients who come to me not knowing any sexual safety, not knowing how to communicate with a partner or who have never been affirmed for who they are and leaving with confidence in their identity, the tools for a successful partnership and the knowledge and power to make safe sexual decisions is worth every judgment and side glance.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I work as a behavior analyst but in the niche subset of sexuality with a company called Empowered: A Center for Sexuality. We work with a vast array of behaviors from public sexual acts, consent violations, dating and social needs to harm reduction and victim advocacy with the state’s mental health department. Many of our clients are diagnosed with a disability and have never been taught skills related to sexual safety, boundaries and how to navigate their own identities. We work to empower our clients and assist their staff in affirming and working with us to provide needed education. A diagnosis of any kind should never be a barrier to a fulfilling sexual life.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Three qualities that have been impactful in my journey are openness, a desire to learn and persistence.
My advice for others early in their sexual education career journeys are to always remain open, keep up with publications and/or community communications and to not let the world get you down. When working with sexual behaviors, we are going to come across things we do not understand or possibly go against our own values. Being open and consistent with learning allows us to broaden our thoughts and encourage accepting what we may not be familiar with. Getting involved in communities gives an opportunity to meet people outside our typical circle and gain an invaluable understanding of someone else’s perspective on life. Also, when we face adversity in our career field, having the support of a community is paramount. There are so many amazing professionals across the globe who desire to help and uplift one another to continue doing the wonderful work we do.
Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
The number one challenge to the work I do is the amount of miseducation that is out in the world. When we look at the field of sexuality, accurate information has been hidden away for decades and kept out of reach from people. This has created opportunities for opinions to be formed based on inaccuracies which in turn leads to restrictions placed on people’s bodies and unsafe situations likely. Especially in my job, where we work with individuals with disabilities. They are often denied access to dating, time for solo sexual activities, sex toys, pornography and almost always denied access to a sexual partner. Overcoming these challenges is not easy and relies heavily on connection, education and patience. In the end, guardians, staff and clinicians all want an individual to have the tools to be safe, no matter what activities they want to engage in. Finding that point of connection is important and opens the door for education to happen. When people feel they are part of a team with the same goal, their guards go down and they are able to do their best work for those they support.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.empoweredcenter.com/
- Linkedin:www.linkedin.com/in/rachel-benson
