Meet Rachel Hargrave

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Rachel Hargrave. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Rachel, so many exciting things to discuss, we can’t wait. Thanks for joining us and we appreciate you sharing your wisdom with our readers. So, maybe we can start by discussing optimism and where your optimism comes from?

I have heard it said that optimism–that magical trait desperately desired by many and yet also maligned by some as being “whimsical” or “naive”–is less about “being happy all the time” and much more about possessing and practicing the skill of resilience. And I couldn’t agree more.

That means I actually believe that optimism is, at its core, less a personality trait and more of a learnable skill; a muscle you might say, one that builds strength when flexed and eventually becomes second nature to use.

This likely isn’t the first time you’ve encountered some iteration of this phrase and just as likely won’t be the last, but it illustrates beautifully the importance of resilience: “You can’t always control what happens, only how you respond.”

Spoiler: how we respond to what happens to use has everything to do with resilience and optimism. You can’t choose the fact you’ve been handed a lemon, but you CAN choose to either just have a lemon, or make lemonade.

So, how have I personally learned to turn lemons into lemonade?

Easy. By being given a lot of lemons. My bag emblazoned with the word “LIFE” was, at most, meant to fit perhaps a half dozen metaphorical lemons (trauma, emotional hardship, and various other difficulties) but instead was crammed over time to bursting. And at some point as I stood there, gazing at my overabundance of bitter citrus fruits, I had to make a decision about what I was going to do with them.

And at first, it was really challenging.

But every time life threw one of those sour lemons into my face and it wasn’t the end of me–I lived to see another day, to fight another fight, to smell another rose–I got the chance to choose how that experience shaped me. Was I going to keep wringing every bitter drop out of it and let it flavor my world thus, or was I going to add the sweetness of *knowing I survived it*–that I was resilient, and could continue being resilient no matter what happened to me–and turn a negative experience into a potent moment of self empowerment?

It hopefully doesn’t come as a surprise I chose the latter. I am nothing if not an eternal optimist, so while I know that life will continue having its ups and downs, I rest easy in the truth that I am resilient enough to hold those experiences as they come–and that I have the power to choose how I respond to them.

And I think that’s pretty sweet.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

I live a busy and joyful life. I’m the mother of the coolest eight-year-old boy you could ever ask for and the wife of a fantasy writer. I’m a proud cat mom of two, a nature lover, avid reader, kitchen witch, and as of 2024 a small business owner.

But my journey to launching my business, Moon Rabbit Fertility, began all the way back in 2014.

I was twenty-six and beginning to think about the possibility of having a baby. I’d been on the pill since I was sixteen, when my doctor recommended them for my debilitating period migraines–so I wasn’t worried at all about it happening before I was ready but I was also unsure when, exactly, I was supposed to stop taking the pill before trying.

It was during that fateful Googling of “when to stop taking the pill before trying to get pregnant” that I discovered something I’d never been told: numerous studies had shown it could take up to two years after coming off the pill to get your period back.

Two years!

I was shocked. Confused. And angry! That information had never been shared with me by any of my doctors, and with how little I actually knew about my own reproductive health, I suddenly felt lost. What I wanted more than anything was to understand the physical and hormonal mechanics of why it could take so long to resume having a period. What exactly had the birth control pill been doing to my body for ten years?

This question was what eventually led me to FAMs: a common shorthand for Fertility Awareness Methods. FAMs are a form of birth control based on observing and charting daily hormonal bio-markers of fertility during the menstrual cycle to identify fertile and infertile days (the bio-markers of the method I teach are basal body temperature, cervical fluid, and optional cervix position). This information is then used to determine whether you’re fertile that day (meaning, could intimacy that day result in a pregnancy) and is used either to avoid pregnancy, to time intimacy for conception, or for reproductive health purposes like identifying PCOS, fibroids, endometriosis, perimenopause and more.

Most people don’t know that the Fertility Awareness umbrella encompasses a lot of different methods–dozens, in fact–and not all of them created equally. Many are without scientific validity (like the ‘Rhythm Method’, based on scientifically false assumptions that the menstrual cycle is 28 days and ovulation always occurs on day 14) while others have been robustly studied–with one, the method I teach, proven as effective at preventing pregnancy as both the pill and the IUD (99.6% perfect-use efficacy rate!).

After learning more about what the pill does to your body I couldn’t ditch it fast enough. I took the time to learn a quality, science-based Fertility Awareness Method (from the wonderful Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler) and have used it now for eleven years as my birth control–without fail. And when I was ready to try for a baby I used the same method and achieved pregnancy the first month.

My charting practice has been my constant companion. I’m grateful to have such an intimate and scientific understanding of how female reproductive hormones and systems work–as well as how they reflect our overall health. Irregularities in our menstrual cycle are often the ‘canary in the coalmine’, so to speak. Our cycle can warn us about thyroid and adrenal deficiencies, the health of our gut, liver function and so much more!

The body sovereignty and empowerment FAM has given me can’t be overstated. It changed my life, and I realized I wanted to become a teacher and guide for others embarking on this incredible journey. Someone who could not only teach others how to chart, but offer chart interpretations and hormonal coaching as well.

And so, after graduating a two year program through The Well: School of Body Literacy, I am a certified Sexual & Reproductive Health educator (SRHE) and Fertility Awareness educator (FAE).

Most of the time when I say that, I’m met with a little tilt of the head. A furrow of the brow. And then, inevitably, “What does that mean? Do you… teach sex ed or something?”

And the short answer is yes. Sex ed is built into my class curriculum and intentionally so; the foundation of anatomy and physiology (both of the body and hormonal cycle) is vital to employing the method. On top of that, women deserve to know how their bodies work! But it isn’t all I teach.

I teach women (and those who don’t identify as women but menstruate) how to observe and chart the fertility bio-markers of the menstrual cycle and determine in real time their daily fertility, as well as the rules for using the method as contraception or for conception. Perhaps most vitally, I teach the skill of interpreting your own charts so you never rely on some unreliable predictive algorithm (I’m looking at you, ‘period apps’) to tell when you’ve ovulated. This means you can make informed reproductive choices to avoid pregnancy or achieve it, and it also means you’ll know exactly when your period is coming and why it comes when it does.

I absolutely love what I do. It’s one of my life’s great passions, and I want to share it with as many people as I can; this is why I’ve been working for several months to film and put together my brand new video class series that will be debuting on my website soon! It’s the same content as my live class series but in a convenient new format, and with a lower price point for wider accessibility.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

Fostering self awareness, self compassion, and resilience have been the three most impactful things on my journey to becoming who I am now and living a life I used to just dream about.

I can say from first hand experience that those skills might feel like out-of-reach, frightening things to cultivate–especially if they weren’t modeled to us by our caregivers or others surrounding us growing up. We live in a world where we aren’t often encouraged to look deep within for answers or to be loving with ourselves, but I promise you, it’s never too late to choose a different path and to learn those skills!

Years of counseling as well as devouring psychology and self-help books provided me the tools I needed. I think there’s so much of value out there in the world; when resourcing yourself, whether that be with books or podcasts or counseling, remember that these things are simply tools in your toolkit–not dogma. Not everything will work for everyone. Some things will ping right off you like hail off a roof while others will resound within you so deeply, so truly, that you know it’s right.

Trust yourself that you will find your way, even if the path is meandering or has twists and turns.

Who is your ideal client or what sort of characteristics would make someone an ideal client for you?

My dream clients are excited (or even just eager) to learn about their body! Women and bleeding folks who maybe, like me, realized at some point in their adult life that what they’d been taught in school about their sexual body and reproductive health was only scraping the surface–or was maybe even flat out incorrect.

I love working with people who’re ready to gain true body sovereignty and take charge of their reproductive choices, health, and well-being. And body literacy is the gift of a lifetime! It walks with you through your fertile years and all the way into menopause, removing the “mystery” and stigma surrounding our menstrual cycles and empowering us to make informed health decisions.

My favorite part of my relationship with clients is normalizing their menstrual experiences, teaching them to advocate for themselves, and doing away with shame around our bodies and sex!

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.MoonRabbitFertility.com

Image Credits

Rachel Hargrave