Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Rebecca Harris. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Hi Rebecca, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?
In the fall of 2022, my father came to live with me. He was quite unwell after struggling with cancer, neuropathy, and a very difficult surgery for a ruptured appendix. It quickly became clear that Dad was much sicker than I had anticipated and that he would need more care than I could provide alone. With the help of a wonderful physician, we secured approval for him to receive hospice services while staying in my home. When we first made these arrangements, we had no idea how long it would last. It did not seem that Dad’s death was imminent, but we knew hospice would provide us with at least six months of support. Having never dealt with a hospice agency before, I did not realize that while their support was incredibly helpful, it was also quite limited. At first, our assigned nurse visited once a week, and an aide came twice a week. They provided all the supplies we could possibly need, but Dad was now confined to his bed and unable to walk at all. I would have to learn – very quickly – how to care for a grown man who was bedridden. As intimidating as this was, our hospice team was amazing at helping me learn how to tend to my dad’s needs. And as this was all unfolding, I discovered that I was pretty good at it! We fell into a comfortable rhythm. More suddenly than we could have known, my dad began a steady decline. As conditions arose that were signs of impending death, the hospice nurses counseled and comforted me. I was able to spend amazingly intimate, important time with my dad in this most sacred space at the end of his life. Toward the end, I remember thinking how incredibly lucky we both were to have had the gift of that precious time together. I felt then that I was being called to help other families experience this deeply difficult time as something meaningful and beautiful.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
It used to be that we took care of our dying family members at home. These skills were passed down from generation to generation.
Taking people out of the home and into the hospitals to die has caused us to lose our ownership over death.
The role of the end-of-life doula is to provide non-medical comfort measures to both the patient and their caregivers.
I offer a calming, supportive, non-judgmental presence during a time that can be quite stressful for families.
I am honored to meet the needs of you and your family with the following offerings and so much more in between: Advanced Care Planning: Preparing for your ideal “good death” goes beyond just a DNR document. We will work together to create a plan that will be a precious gift to family members who want to honor your wishes. These are some of the ways that I can work with my clients:
Legacy Projects: Your life matters! Creating a legacy project will serve as a beautiful life review, honoring your life and informing others about the things that were important to you.
Bedside: As the illness progresses, I can support caregivers and answer questions about best care practices. The goal is to fill in the gaps that might be left by doctors or other practitioners.
Vigil: I can participate in sitting vigil in the final days to help create a loving space for the soul to move peacefully from its body. No one dies alone. After death: Expected death is not an emergency. I will encourage the caregivers to honor the moment and gently prepare for saying goodbye. Grief Support: If we never allow grief to surface, it will plague us. I can support the shared sorrow of the family and make recommendations for further grief support if needed.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
My goals are to bring comfort, solace, and joy to the end-of-life journey.
If you are feeling called to this work, I recommend training with a practicing doula in person. There are many online programs out there right now, but the experience of working with an actual doula is invaluable. I would also suggest volunteering with a local hospice agency. They can usually offer volunteer opportunities in the local hospice residence or assign volunteers to families who have a hospice patient in the home.
Getting comfortable with people who are dealing with dying is important. And it helps make them more comfortable as well.
Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?
There’s no question that stepping into a family’s space during the dying process can feel incredibly overwhelming. Emotions often run high—there may be tears, unresolved conflict, or the raw, messy realities of end-of-life care. In those moments, I try to stay quiet, grounded, and fully present. This isn’t the time to solve old disputes or assign blame. Instead, I focus on being a calm presence in the room, modeling respect and love for the dying person simply by how I show up.I see my role not only as a caregiver, but as a witness and companion—someone who helps hold the space so that everyone present can feel the sacredness of the moment. Dying is not just a medical event; it’s a profound passage. When possible, I gently encourage loved ones to pause, to breathe, and to simply be with the person who is leaving this world. There is something deeply human—and even beautiful—about ushering someone through their final moments with tenderness and presence.
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