Meet Rebekah Pharr

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Rebekah Pharr. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Rebekah below.

Rebekah, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.

Finding one’s unique purpose in life is a deeply personal journey. Each individual faces unique challenges and possesses distinct gifts. By embracing these gifts, we can share our light and presence with the world. However, the challenge lies in learning who we are as individuals amidst the distractions of modern culture, such as work, sports, family obligations, and social media. This often leads to feelings of exhaustion and unfulfillment, as many of us drift through life without direction or passion.

I lived most of my life trying to fit into a box that others wanted me to be in and I never fit very well. I discovered my purpose when I began to pay attention to my own needs and feelings. When I stopped striving to make others happy and instead focused on self-love, While that may sound selfish, learning to be authentic and to love my authentic self vastly improved my relationships and taught my children valuable lessons. Through that journey, I found work that ignited my passion and realized that I had known my purpose all along.

Reflecting on my life, I recognize that my mistakes, especially overcoming a failed marriage, were pivotal in guiding me toward my purpose. The end of my marriage left me feeling devastated and lost, especially after dedicating myself to raising my four children. I had spent my marriage prioritizing others’ needs and completely neglecting my own. When my youngest started kindergarten, I was confronted with an uncomfortable silence, forcing me to face my loneliness and lack of self-awareness. It was painful, and I initially tried to escape that reality. During the pandemic, I worked various jobs while trying to pick up the pieces of my life and support my hurting children. One morning, I lay in bed thinking, “I’m so sick of myself,” which prompted me to seek change. I owed it to my children to heal and create a joyful home.

I leaned into my spirituality, my creativity and my love of nature. I learned new things like how to make candles and listened to podcasts that made me self-reflect. I went hiking alone with only my thoughts. I took on three jobs, including volunteering at a counseling center to re-enter the therapy field. My desire was to help others heal before they made life-altering mistakes. Eventually, I found a mentor in Dr. Stacy Jagger, who saw potential in me despite my struggles. We still laugh about the day she interviewed me. I have no idea why she hired me, but she claims she saw a grit in me that she herself possesses. Her passion for helping families connect profoundly influenced my path.

As I began working with children and families, I realized that the parents were often the ones who needed support the most. I think most people are hungry for love and intimacy from another person, and most people also have no idea who they themselves are. How can two people show up to live together, and love and parent together when neither of them really know themselves or have healed their own wounds? When parents heal, children thrive. While I continued my own healing journey through reading, therapy, and experiential practices, I discovered joy and peace, which benefited both myself and my children.

Though I acknowledge the value of talk therapy, and I still see clients, I have found my purpose in conducting experiential, small group intensives. The book “The Body Keeps The Score” transformed my understanding of healing, and I strive to integrate its insights with other experiential techniques. My intensives incorporate small group therapy, art, and somatic practices like yoga, meditation, and breathing, engaging both sides of the brain for more effective processing and healing. One or two day intensives are often overlooked as a therapy option. Intensives allow clients to immerse themselves fully in the process, leading to faster progress. Intensives also allow for deeper exploration of emotional issues due to the therapist integrating various modalities.

This work has the potential to change lives—one person, one family at a time. Each day, I wake up excited to learn and share love and healing. The most significant gift any adult or parent can give themselves and their children is the commitment to healing. This work can impact divorce rates, crime rates, and substance abuse rates, fostering better relationships, increased productivity, and greater joy.

In my journey to find purpose, I adopted daily habits to connect with myself. Each morning, I practice deep breathing and gratitude before getting out of bed. I spend time in prayer, limit my phone usage, meditate, journal, and focus on self-comfort and nervous system regulation. My friendships and family relationships have greatly improved. I feel less anger, regret and resentment, and feel more gratitude, and joy. Though it’s challenging, the hurdles I’ve faced uniquely position me to help others on their healing journeys. I want to spread the message that healing and joy are not only possible but attainable, and I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to assist others in discovering this truth.

If you’d like more information on an intensive experience, I can be contacted by email at [email protected]

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I grew up in Nashville, Tennessee, as the middle child in a family of five, and my upbringing has greatly influenced who I am today. We didn’t have a television until I was about eight years old, which encouraged us to engage with the world around us. We spend a lot of time playing outside and we ate from our garden, which instilled in me a deep appreciation for nature and outdoor activities.
Family vacations were usually to national parks and major league baseball fields, experiences that cultivated my love for travel and for baseball. Additionally, both sets of my grandparents had farms, so I learned a lot about the outdoors and the importance of family.
Raised in a Christian home, my faith has played a significant role in my life as well as in the development of my craft. However, I’ve developed a personal relationship with the Source that feels far more fulfilling than the traditional teachings I received as a child. I’m grateful for that early church upbringing, as it laid the foundation for my spiritual development.
Academically, I attended what is now Lipscomb Academy for grade school and high school. I graduated from MTSU with a degree in Psychology and minors in Sociology and Child Development, followed by a master’s in marriage and family therapy from Trevecca Nazarene University. This educational background has equipped me with a strong understanding of human behavior and relationships, which is valuable both professionally and interpersonally.
I value real connection with my children and my friends and clients. I’m passionate about almost everything that I do and the people with whom I spend my time. I spend my free time hiking, camping, kayaking, reading, painting and harassing my children who are now all teenagers.
My career is evolving in the most wonderful ways and I feel passionate about what is ahead for me. I have so much gratitude for my journey, both the good and the bad, and that I have come to a place where I am equipped to help others. I believe what I am doing in combining somatic techniques, art, small group therapy, meditation and experiential therapy is unique and has the potential to change lives. I have had so many experiences at different places and I have been able to combine those experiences with what I have learned from my mentors to create a unique and healing experience for intensive healing seekers. The name of my business is Inner Light Intensives. At this time, I hold intensive sessions once a month, but as word spreads and more are experiencing this type of therapy, I will be adding more. I wake up every single day grateful and excited about the future.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

1. Everyone is so unique, so my advice is to listen to yourself and follow your own path. Your path will look different from others and that’s a good thing! The world needs you to bring your unique set of gifts into it! Being authentic is so liberating and it can be so difficult in our culture, but listen to yourself, pay attention to what ignites a fire in your bones and makes you happy to be alive, and then chase that!
2. Create a morning routine… this one is a game changer. Starting every day with intention and setting the right attitude can quickly create a whole new life for the practitioner. Personally, I purposefully get up at least 30 minutes before my children because waking up to rushing and tasks just starts my day off badly. I start the day with deep breathing and gratitude. I have coffee outside, no matter the weather, in quiet reflection and prayer. Many days I walk out into the yard barefoot with my coffee to ground myself. I also try to practice yoga and stretching for 10 minutes or so before I get my day started. I don’t have “bad” days. I have hard moments, and sometimes multiple hard moments in one day, but there aren’t “bad” days and I believe this is directly linked to starting each day with intention and excitement.
3. Put down your fear…I have lived my life in so much fear running the gamut of fear of failure to fear of what certain people thought of me, to fear of rejection and abandonment. I wish I had gotten to this place sooner where I can say “this is who I am” and letting others own their feelings about that instead of trying to manage their feelings about me. Stop being afraid of chasing your dream. Passion is contagious and life is too short to slave away in a job that doesn’t light your soul on fire with excitement!

Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?

Several books have been instrumental in my personal and professional development.

The Body Keeps The Score completely turned my therapeutic beliefs and professional practices upside down. The research in this book is mind blowing and I think it will revolutionize the world of therapy eventually. The book opened my eyes to complete healing and I don’t believe it involves sitting in a room talking for 50 minutes every week.

During darker periods of my life when I found myself really struggling with shame and depressive thoughts, Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection helped me reframe the struggles of those harder days. Just reading that my mistakes can teach me and transform me into a better person gave me hope that I could overcome the challenges I was facing.

The Alchemist is a book I revisit every new year. I just love the story and the journey of the boy chasing his purpose and his discoveries along the way is inspiring. My favorite quote is “It is we who nourish the Soul of the World, and the world we live in will be either better or worse, depending on whether we become better or worse. And that’s where the power of love comes in. Because when we love, we always strive to become better than we are.”

The Anxious Generation by Dr. Jonathan Haidt has also influenced my work. The book actually caused me to feel anger at our culture and what we are doing to our children with the constant presence of screens and entertainment. Checking out of social media and the constant bombardment of news, email, and notifications plays a huge role in what I do whether I am working with children or adults. It is my belief that we cannot truly know ourselves until we tune out all the noise and learn to sit with ourselves without our attention constantly being pulled away from ourselves.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: bexonatrail
• Other: email at [email protected]
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