Meet Renae Sams

We recently connected with Renae Sams and have shared our conversation below.

Renae, so good to have you with us today. We’ve got so much planned, so let’s jump right into it. We live in such a diverse world, and in many ways the world is getting better and more understanding but it’s far from perfect. There are so many times where folks find themselves in rooms or situations where they are the only ones that look like them – that might mean being the only woman of color in the room or the only person who grew up in a certain environment etc. Can you talk to us about how you’ve managed to thrive even in situations where you were the only one in the room?
I have learned that to be the most effective and successful in these cases is that I continue showing up despite fighting those inner insecurities that remind me I may be the minority in the room. Whether it’s being a woman in an industry where we are often underrepresented or being the minority in the room in terms of race, I choose to let my work performance, how I uphold my values, and how I treat others speak for itself. It has taken some time to grow in this and fully accept that there may always be people that make assumptions of my capabilities based on how I look, but I’ve learned that I can continue to focus on how I will succeed anyway – and that is because my sense of success and happiness is in my eyes, not in the eyes of what that person thinks my success should be.

Many of us can agree that we are our own worst critic and also the ones holding ourselves to very high standards. Rightfully so, we are the only ones that are closest to our situation that essentially are gathering all of the data throughout our lives that no one else has access to. The looks and the feelings we have when we are singled out in a crowd, the uncomfortable feeling we have being in a room where we are the minority – it is difficult to explain to people that have not had to experience it, and several people experience this on different levels. We may be forming assumptions in our minds of a scenario we have had to fight from our past that will present itself again and we tend to guard ourselves from experiencing them again. From the experiences I have endured in my past, I am stronger than the critique that one may share or someone’s opinion of me in a flash moment of judgement based on what little they may know about me. I have learned to still show up and to reassure myself that the uncomfortable moment will pass – and realize that most times they may not be doubting or judging you in the first place.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
I am the Founder and Executive Director of Build-Her.Org, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that focuses on women in construction and the trades, encouraging and empowering them in their roles. I am also the Author of <i>Build-Her, Be Heard</i> a book that is at the core of this nonprofit that is a resource that shares a perspective on a woman in the industry while also offering the reader to journal and reflect on their personal career story and encourages them to share their story with others. Our vision is focused on sharing these stories to reflect a visual representation of the various stories of women in their career journey to encourage more women to enter the industry and to encourage early and mid-career women to remain in the industry.

With 18 years in the AEC (Architectural, Engineering and Construction) realm, I felt that there was still a gap in reaching women at the field level. We often see a lot of Senior Executives sharing their stories, hosting podcasts, and in the spotlight, but they often don’t connect with some of the hardships or the day-to-day issues that a lot of us may have faced. There was also the gap of expensive industry conferences and events to connect women in the industry. The gap being that if your company didn’t sponsor you or if you were not able to leave the site, you lose some great connection opportunities. This may not have been the same feeling for everyone, but I experienced that on several occasions as did other women I have discussed this with. It was my focus to develop this book as a way to instill that sense of connection with those that may be feeling the same through an approach that allows them to input their own thoughts, opinions and experiences with write in prompts and journal entries. We are often faced with a lot of one-sided content these days and I wanted to give the reader their chance to actively engage in what they feel on certain topics we face as women in the industry. In hopes of reaching those who may be more of an introvert like me, to encourage them share their story with others. At the back of the book, I also provide a leaders guide to help the readers engage in having conversations in small group settings with others within their direct reach and to build on quality connections right where they are at with the men and women on their team.

So far, the achievements that I am most excited about are the initial release of <i>Build-Her, Be Heard</i> in August 2024 and the release of the Spanish translation of the book in October. I am quickly approaching the first 90 days of the book release, and I am excited to share that our current book reach covers 17 states, and includes copies reaching Guam and Canada. I encourage both men and women to read the book, as I think it takes a collective effort to continue building a culture of acceptance and support to increase women entering construction and trade related fields, as well as retain them in these career paths. I am currently aiming to approach companies for sponsorship to attend upcoming conferences and host an exhibit table where I can continue expanding the reach to leaders in the industry that can support their team with covering the purchase of the book.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
The three qualities that have been most impactful in my journey have been: adaptability; authenticity; and reliability. Keeping these values helped me to continue to move forward when I was faced with a challenge and also helped with building relationships and connecting with others. It’s important to understand what your own personal values are because although these are values that I prioritize, each person may be different.

By being adaptable, we focus on doing our best to understand our given options to move forward with a decision and find ways to adapt or adjust to the situation if the outcome wasn’t exactly what we had thought it would be or moving forward to change the situation to realign to be closer to where we want to be. By assessing if we are being faced with momentary discomforts or if this is something that disagrees with our values and goals all together, we can choose how to move forward.

Choosing to be your authentic self gives you a sense of inner peace by not having to bend and mold to the wide range stereotypes or expectations we each face. Being authentic, as I see it, also includes honest communication while still respecting your own views and opinions and the views and opinions of others. It’s having difficult conversations while still respecting others and by not belittling or condemning people around you. I believe that it is giving grace to yourself when situations are out of your control, understanding that you can take the time you need to process emotions or situations that impact you and also extending others the same grace and empathy with what they may be facing.

Reliability is a big one for me. Often it can be tough when we want to be there in support for others but often can find ourselves overcommitting with low chance of follow through. Over the years I have been more cautious when agreeing to things half-heartedly. A ‘yes’ in the moment to taking on a responsibility, I ask myself if I am saying ‘yes’ because I can genuinely commit to it or am I saying it just to a fleeting moment that I may forget or write off later and leave someone hanging. I personally have not liked being on the opposite side of these situations where someone committed to something then to be left on the hook alone because they either forgot or didn’t intend to commit in the first place, so I do my best to not do this to others. I would say to improve on this just be mindful when saying you will be there for others, call when you say you’ll call, show up when you say you will show up and hold yourself accountable when you offer to help someone with something. Otherwise, say ‘no’ or that you can’t – don’t be afraid to set boundaries when you know whether or not you are up to the task or not.

Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
I have never been one to look for the spotlight or be the center of attention. In this journey of becoming more of an advocate for women in construction through the nonprofit and the book, I have been challenged with having to put myself out there in order for other women like me to reflect that we can be that representation to others. For a long time, I was seeing only high-level executives share their success stories, I was faced with believing that “…I’m not there yet” and would not share in my career story and how I have progressed so far. I feel that by stepping forward and sharing in my career story at this point in time as I am still continuing to grow, other women can feel more confident with their sharing their own journey with others. It doesn’t have to be on a mass scale, just by understanding that whatever you have overcome so far in your journey, it may inspire someone right beside, or behind you to keep moving forward in their career.

I have always had a small journal throughout my career to keep notes on tasks and responsibilities, but it is objective and only fact based. Now, I also keep a copy of <i>Build-Her, Be Heard </i>close by that I actively take notes and highlight different notes of encouragement that even I need reminders on. It allows me the space to focus on other levels – my goals, experiences or situations weighing me down, and how things may have affected my inner peace. It allows me space for writing notes on different experiences as they come up – it really helps me in allowing myself to address the thoughts, and afterwards reflect on why I felt that way in the first place.

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Image Credits
Ashley Haxby

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