Meet Renia Bigham

We recently connected with Renia Bigham and have shared our conversation below.

Renia, so good to have you with us today. We’ve got so much planned, so let’s jump right into it. We live in such a diverse world, and in many ways the world is getting better and more understanding but it’s far from perfect. There are so many times where folks find themselves in rooms or situations where they are the only ones that look like them – that might mean being the only woman of color in the room or the only person who grew up in a certain environment etc. Can you talk to us about how you’ve managed to thrive even in situations where you were the only one in the room?

I have learned through my entire life of being the only one in the room that looks like me that the best way for me to be effective/successful is to be authentic in who I am. Worrying about what others think or feel about me doesn’t help me. I need to validate myself and not be so engrossed in others validating me, I am grateful though to those that do validate me. I am kind to people that I come into contact with and I am genuine with people. I feel people can sense and notice this simply because people approach me and tell me about themselves very often, they seek someone that is real and they can tell when they look at me that I am what they need in the moment whether it’s comfort, kindness, a smile they know when they see me. I am effective/successful because I am approachable and people know this. I do my best to be me and not be like everyone else because I am not like everyone else and I love that and I feel people see that and want that. I don’t need to go out of my way, to be mean or nasty, I don’t need to butter up others, etc. to be effective/successful because my concern isn’t about being effective/successful it’s about living my life with authenticity, integrity, honor, kindness, compassion, respect, love for myself and others and that is why I am effective/successful.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

I am a Conscious Empowerment Life Coach. We go through life with people, places, things, telling us who we are, what we are supposed to do and how to do it, like being in a herd all having to be and do the same thing as others and if we don’t we’re bad or the black sheep. We are programmed to be what society says we are, what families say we are or even our friends. People and ourselves put so many labels on us that we don’t know who we truly are as individuals and then are made to feel guilt, shame or bad for being ourselves. The hardest thing we will ever do is learn who we truly and genuinely are and I help individuals learn who they are while accepting all parts of themselves good, bad, light, dark because we are all of them and to deny a piece of who you are makes you look for it in other places when you are actually already whole and complete especially when you know who you are. I have and continuously am finding out new things about myself and I accept those parts of me that others may think are bad or taboo and I am the best version of myself because of it and I strive to help others learn and accept themselves for who they are. To Love yourself unconditionally helps you in being the best version of yourself and helps you in knowing what you like and dislike, whether you accept yourself or not and how you come into contact with others. We are all different and bring different things to the table and I help individuals know that this is a beautiful thing within them. We wouldn’t be who we are today without everything we have been through and being able to accept that within yourself is beautiful and shows up in the most amazing ways for others. You can’t help others if you can’t help yourself and to help yourself it is imperative to learn and accept all parts of you and to no longer deny yourself of being whole and complete because others say you have to be a certain way, to stop labeling all parts of you and say I am me there are many parts to me, I am not one thing but all things, I am kind, can be mean, can be quite, loud, funny, sad, mixed, short, tall, etc. you are beautiful and unique embrace it! This isn’t easy and many people aren’t ready to learn who they are and that is okay, this is a one step at a time process and only those that are ready to change their life will take the leap that is needed and I am here to support, lead and guide but only you can save you!

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Wow looking back at three qualities,skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in my journey, great question, honestly I don’t know. What I can say is I learned to observe, be quite, stay in my lane. I was not raised to think I was smart and can do anything I set my mind to, that I could be anything I wanted to be. I had to learn through my experiences that I could do anything I set my mind to, that I was smart in some capacity but mostly what I learned from observing is what I did not want to happen to me in my life so I did the opposite. I was raised around alcoholics, domestic violence, drugs, being homeless, taking care of others, etc. I thrived to have something different, I didn’t know I had skills of any kind so I had to learn about me and what I am capable of and that was hard but I know who I am, what I can do and I want for others to not have to wait so long to discover themselves the way that I had to. My advice is to Love yourself by learning about who you are, what you like, don’t like etc. and to be kind because there is enough negativity and nastiness that it doesn’t need to be added to. It doesn’t take a lot to smile and if someone is rude to you, it’s not about you maybe they don’t know themselves, they had a bad day, week or month, One act of random kindness makes all the difference to our world!

Before we go, maybe you can tell us a bit about your parents and what you feel was the most impactful thing they did for you?

The most impactful thing my parents did for me was to have me! I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them. Everything I went through in my life has made me who I am today. No matter the craziness I have had In my life I know my parents love me and they did the best they could with what they knew. I learned from my situations what I liked and didn’t like and did things differently.

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