We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Reva Banka a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Reva , so great to have you sharing your thoughts and wisdom with our readers and so let’s jump right into one of our favorite topics – empathy. We think a lack of empathy is at the heart of so many issues the world is struggling with and so our hope is to contribute to an environment that fosters the development of empathy. Along those lines, we’d love to hear your thoughts around where your empathy comes from?
I would say, empathy is what drives a lot of my thoughts and actions. I grew up in a very protected environment as a child. When I got married, I moved to USA only a few months after that. Unfortunately, in a year after moving to USA I met with a massive sky diving accident. That accident shaped a lot of who I am today. When I met with the accident in a foreign land, I only had my husband here. Who was shocked with what had happened. He had a very demanding full time I.T. career and now he had to support me in my healing too. Which definitely limited his ability and availability for me. Until this accident I really did not have much of a sense of me. I was a daughter, a sister, a friend and lots of other things, but I had not really seen myself as me. Now I was having to realize that I am a person of my own, I have a life in front of me and I need to support myself in my healing to get back up again on my feet. This is when I realized importance of self and power of self. This incident not only made me fiercely independent, it taught me to see each single person for who they are. That is what empathy is for me for being able to see others for who they are and where they are at, meet them there, knowing they are whole and resourceful.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I am an ICF certified Leadership and Executive Coach. I also have a PCC credential from the ICF. I have been coaching a variety of leaders, across demographics for 10+ years now. My business name is-Can&Did with the tag line”supporting your journey from possibility to fulfillment”.
In a nut shell this is exactly what I do. I partner with high performing individuals on their journey of creating higher impact, having a more fulfilled life, enjoy more successful career, thrive in relationships etc.
My coaching philosophy is- the world around you impact you, how do you impact the world around you? Which is based on growth mindset and mindfulness living. Inviting people to act from a place of personal integrity, assuming their responsibility in their experience of the world, do not stay behind because of self limiting beliefs and do what it will take to live a fulfilled life.
My practice is client centric. Having said that I also want to add that I stay away from cookie cutter formulas. I do use extensive research based tools and techniques based upon each client’s unique working style, value system, strength and weakness.
Some of the commonly brought upon goals are- team and leadership development, career transitions, goal planning, relationship building, finding a purpose, creating an impact, finding the direction etc. Some of my favorite tools are- motivational inquiry, mindfulness practice, guided visualization, thought records, CBT and DBT etc.
Aside from full time coaching career,I love reading, writing, yoga, meditation, exercising, listening to music, outdoors, walking, hanging out with friends and family, traveling, meeting new people, and raising our thriving teenager,
I would like to wrap up my business description with- people climb the mountain once and feel achieved. I get that sense of achievement over and over as my clients reach to the summit.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
1. Ignore the thorns if you love the roses! My coaching practice was not flying since it’s inception. Initial years were really challenging in finding any business. Particularly, trying to set up my practice in a foreign land where I barely had any network or credibility that anyone could trust me with their critical life matters. However, I loved coaching so much that in each single session I gave my best work, even if I got one client a month. No goal or client was of less value for me. 2. Continuous self growth. Whether I was getting any business or not, I did not let that result into disappointment for myself. I used my time focusing on continued self growth. I attended lots of coaching, positive psychology and other relevant webinars. Volunteered with ICF local as well as Global. Went to networking events etc. All of those kept me up to date with industry action and knowledge. Even now when I got a pretty full practice, I make sure of spending time on continued learning.
3. Do not compare yourself to others! This saying has been very helpful in my journey. It is easy to fall trap of comparing yourself to other established businesses. As much as you want to have those in your point of reference for future goals, with comparing you end up demotivating yourself. It is a great idea to set your eyes on bigger goals. However, on your journey only other person you can compare yourself to is “past you”. That will give you true point of reflection, data and comps. Use that towards your journey forward.
As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?
I always loved reading as far as I can recall since my childhood days and I would give credit to my father, who is an avid reader. Two books have played significant role in shaping me- Brene Brwon’s “The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting” and Louis Hay’s “You Can Heal Your Life”.
I originally read Brene Brown’s book for parenting ideas. However, this book introduced the value of imperfection to me. I am still a wanna be imperfectionist. I am happy to report that imperfection does not bother me as much anymore, I can be quite graceful with mistakes of not only others but mine as well😅
Louis’ book taught me another important lesson- power of thoughts. How our thoughts drive our behavior. That gave me another valuable tool, positive thinking wrapped with mindfulness and growth mindset.
There have have been many other books that I have learnt valuable lessons from and continuing on.
Contact Info:
