We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Rita Phetmixay a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Rita, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?
As a survivor, activist, and storyteller, I began my journey to support fellow Lao community members through directing my first short documentary film titled, Phetmixay Means Fighter, which highlights my own family’s refugee journey to the U.S. from Laos and Thailand. This brought awareness to a much neglected Lao narrative I yearned to see in mainstream media. Since its completion in 2016, I have screened it at 10+ universities, national conferences and film festivals.
I am proud of the reach its gotten, yet, wanted to document more stories and ones that were not just my own and through a means that was more accessible for generations similar to mine or younger. I initially wanted to get involved in higher educational social justice programming. However, the opportunities in front of me kept veering me towards wellness programming, 1×1 clinical therapy and eventually coaching. And although I enjoyed working with diverse communities with similar marginalizations as myself, I didn’t feel as complete. Moreso, the thought that I was neglecting my own Lao community by fulfilling my time in others did not sit well with me. I knew the needs such as intergenerational trauma from war violence and displacement were still so prevalent in my diaspora. After finally making this connection and having one conversation about bringing more healing spaces to the Lao diaspora with my big sis Kulap, born Healing Out Lao’d.
Healing Out Lao’d is truly a family and community space for all of us in the Lao diaspora to grow beyond surviving and thrive. So many times have I heard from Lao folx, especially in the 1.5 and 2nd generation, speak about their loneliness and wishing they had someone like themselves when they were younger. This very observation sparked my curiosity and made me question: how did you get to where you are if you didn’t have an older you? Hence, the practice tips and tools I ask HOL guests to share.
Many of us who were the first to be born on soil outside of Laos did not get that privilege to learn from folx who “did it already” because there was no such thing! Our parents and caregivers grew up with us in a foreign place we both navigated for the first time. I trust we did the best we could, but what happens when that is not enough? I have sought out my own fairshare of psychotherapy, coaching, and trauma-informed yoga to counter this lack of not feeling enough and believe me, it took so much inner work for me to get to where I am today to sustain myself and this greater healing movement for the Lao diaspora community.
For as long as HOL exists, I will do my best to capture the stories of the global Lao diaspora. From the ones that are heart wrenching to ones that will just make you feel whole and laugh out lao’d!!! Our stories are so nuanced, diverse, and much more interconnected than we can ever imagine. In much gratitude, I dedicate this space to all our younger selves and send so much love to the generations that have come before us. I want to make this space truly about healing intergenerationally. One that is for us, by us.
From recognizing these personal insights and nuanced experiences, I found my purpose in Healing Out Lao’d!
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
Healing Out Lao’d began as a podcast centering Lao diaspora storytelling, healing, and tools for sustainability and has since branched out to include social engagement programming and wellness retreats. Workshop topics range from addressing mental health in the workplace, healing intergenerational trauma to discussing activist burn out. I’m most excited about meeting Lao diaspora community members online/in-person and dialoguing on important issues currently affecting our community today.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
Rita’s 3 top qualities, skills, and/or areas of knowledge:
1. cultural humility (quality): being able to see the humanity in yourself as well as others. What that means is being able to see value in others and to not be shy to lend a helping hand (when you can) in order to make sure we all have food on the table (metaphor).
2. communication skills: I have to be honest and say this is a skill that will always be in progress as I continue to challenge myself to get out of my bubble and comfort zone and listen to others’ outside of it. Communication is beyond words– it’s 95% body language and gestures. I noticed the more understanding I was of people’s body’s language from different parts of the world, the more I am able to connect and relate to them, while sharing my own perspectives as well.
3. understanding your “why” (area of knowledge): I ask myself this every single day– what is my “why”? This is what helps ground and guide me to conduct daily tasks that meet a larger goal/vision I have for myself and my community. If you don’t know your why yet, that’s OK–I only learned my why in my late 20s and others may need longer to learn of their why– the most important thing is to continue to learn about yourself and how you want to contribute to the world to make it a better place for all of us to enjoy living in it.
What’s been one of your main areas of growth this year?
My biggest area of growth in the past 12 months was organizing my very own Lao diaspora women and femme centered wellness retreat! It was a goal of mine to bring fellow community members together after experiencing such challenging times during COVID-19 pandemic. I am proud that I was able to garner the support of 20+ sponsors that believed in the vision of healing and providing mental health resources for the Lao diaspora. Now, these retreats are set to be a yearly thing (and eventually I hope to increase it to twice a year!).
Contact Info:
- Website: https://healingoutlaod.org/healingoutlaod
- Instagram: @healingoutlaod
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/healingoutlaod
- Twitter: @healingoutlaod
- Other: tiktok: @healingoutlaod
Image Credits
Dennis Saicocie (one image with red hair and green jacket)
