Meet Rory Babin

 

We were lucky to catch up with Rory Babin recently and have shared our conversation below.

Rory, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?

I can remember, years ago, playing a concert in the middle-of-nowhere Idaho at a bar and restaurant known as the Snake Pit. To put what performing at the time was like into perspective: the only thing I was sure of was that I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.

We were using a speaker system we didn’t know how to operate, our drummer was perched in the back of a pickup truck that would shake whenever anybody stepped on it and I had begun singing for the group for no other reason than nobody else wanted to, and believe me, I was not endowed with special vocal abilities. All in all, I can imagine that we were quite the sight at the time.

I remember having made it half way through the performance and feeling rather depressed about the situation. I would say that our audience of ten or so was listening with half an ear but in truth, the only person listening even that much was my mother. Feeling frustrated at myself for being unable to sing what I heard in my head and ashamed at my countless mistakes throughout the show I began to enter a nasty spiral. I learned that day, that the only things which are truly impossible, are the things you believe you cannot do. Every time I told myself how awful a performer and singer I was, the more mistakes would creep into my performance. Finally, I was standing there, on the verge of tears for feeling such a fool, wanting desperately for my efforts to be worth something, anything, when I remembered a show from a month before, where, for the first time I felt as though the audience had really enjoyed our performance. I can remember people laughing, dancing and clapping to songs that we had written. I remember feeling such a calm confidence at seeing their joy that that performance lived unmatched at the time in my head. At this moment, my negative emotions thundering on the inside of my head, I realized the correlation between believing in my capabilities and in myself and the quality of my performance.

You may be saying to yourself that this is obvious, everyone knows that when you are sure of yourself you will be better at whatever you set your mind to. Yes, perhaps it is, however at the time, I clung to that idea like a shipwreck survivor to a board. I wish I could say that it was easy. That it is a simple thing to pull yourself out of the hole of self doubt and to simply become confident. However, that is not the case. Nonetheless, the seed had been planted in my mind and I was determined to dig myself out of my despair. With less than half of our show remaining and nobody paying attention, for the first time since our concert began, I smiled. It was a forced smile but sometimes that’s just the best you can do. After that I made myself repeat in my mind that I can do this. That I am good enough to be up on this stage. That I am talented enough and that it is my doubts which have limited my ability, not that I am simply inadequate.

There is a funny thing you learn when you have performed enough times in your life about how a musician’s emotions and the emotions of a crowd can blend together and become something greater. Imagine the feeling at the peak of a great concert where the room is packed full of the emotion the artists and the crowd have created together. When trying to create that space as an artist, you must give before you can receive. You have to take the first step and show your listeners that elevated emotion so that they can join in. All this is to say, that as I started to stand a little taller, as I made myself smile until it felt natural and as I chanted “I can do this” in my head, this was the same moment people began to pay attention to my band and the music. In fact, I recall that this was one of the great shows of our early career. By the last couple songs we had drawn most everyone from inside the bar and had created quite the spectacular north Idaho dance party. Once again, I am not here to tell you that feeling sure of yourself is an easy thing but now, every time I feel the cold fingers of doubt creeping up the back of my head I make myself smile as wide as I can and I chuckle at myself for still being foolish enough to doubt myself after all this time.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I am a performer. The band for which I am known, Snacks at Midnight, is an independent rock band that experiments with genres like a toddler with different colored legos. We are most well known for our prowess on stage and our ability to get any audience jumping up and down like teenage girls at a Taylor Swift concert.

Snacks is a work of great passion for me. Something I pursue because it is a project that I whole-heartedly believe in. There are two parts of the job that really stick with me. First, I love seeing small growth in our community: hearing strangers tell stories about my band while sitting in a coffee shop, being recognized by people who listened to my album on the day of its release, and hearing my own lyrics being sung back to me at shows of all sizes. Secondly, I take great pleasure in sending a room home with giant, giddy smiles all around. I know of few people and even fewer lines of work which leave so many people that happy. This is the true reward of my labor. Having the opportunity to create so much genuine happiness is the reason I’m willing to work so hard to further my craft and my passion.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

If I were to write that it were my skills alone that have allowed me to succeed, I would be lying. First and foremost, I would like to thank the members of my family who have made a living in music possible for me. My mother for believing in me long before I was ever actually a skilled musician and for devoting so much of her time and effort into our successes. My father, who’s ability to talk to anybody, has formed so many necessary connections in our line of business. Finally, my wife, whom I met through my music and has been my most important and influential supporter since that fateful day.

All that is to say, that humility and acknowledging that you will need help on your journey are important steps to success.

Secondly, having struggled through many difficulties while trying to survive as a working musician, I found that staying constantly grateful and appreciative is an important step to avoiding early burnout.

Finally, if, as you read this, you are thinking about how my words relate to you and your business, it should be noted, that this last quality is essential to success. Stop. Take a conscious breathe and relax your shoulders. At the age of 24 I have spent 2 years studying out of country, I have taught at a public school, I have written 2 albums both acclaimed by journalists, and performed them in front of crowds in the thousands, and am currently the head coach of men’s lacrosse at Gonzaga University. All of this was only possible (as I tell my students and players repeatedly) because I learned early that when I am relaxed, calm and confident, I can do anything I set my mind to.

Do you think it’s better to go all in on our strengths or to try to be more well-rounded by investing effort on improving areas you aren’t as strong in?

I have a peculiar view on this sort of question. Personally, I believe that all things at their core are composed of vibrations (or energy or music). When you realize that all energy is transferable and even matter and energy are truly the same thing, one recognizes that areas of skill that we conventionally consider as different or even opposites are really, at their core, composed of the same base. What this lead me to realize was that my strength and understanding of music was actually a strength and understanding of all sorts of arts. I just hadn’t learned how they connected yet.

Here are some examples of what I mean: When video editing, videos are significantly more satisfying to the viewer when the cuts (or transitions) happen in time with the music. Music (and all art) likes to breathe like the human that made it. When taking a guitar solo, if the soloist never lets their music breathe, the audience can become quickly overwhelmed by the lack of space, break or breath. Finally, The best musicians are the people that listen to the players around them. The same is true in the art of conversation. After all, no one enjoys speaking with someone who clearly isn’t listening. There are infinite more examples of what I mean but I hope that it helps make clear my ideology on the subject.

To answer the question more concisely, I believe that your strong skills and your weak skills are, at their base, the same skills, you just haven’t realized how they overlap yet.

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Image Credits

Abbigail Babin

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