Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Russell Mano. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Russell, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?
Resilience has been the cornerstone of my life, and it comes from three key experiences: my childhood, failed relationships, and my ongoing fight for family. Each of these has shaped me in ways I couldn’t have imagined, teaching me lessons in perseverance and strength that I carry with me every day.
I grew up in a fractured home. My parents separated before I can even remember, and I was raised by my mother alongside an older brother, eight years my senior. Life at home was challenging. My needs were often silenced, and the dynamic was made worse by an abusive older brother who seemed to rule with fear. My mother, whether oblivious or willfully blind, never intervened. At 14, I turned to something tangible: a set of weights. I had watched enough 80s movies to believe that building my body would help me fight back against the oppression I felt. For two years, I trained relentlessly, and by the time I was 16, I stood taller—both physically and emotionally. One day, it all came to a head over something trivial, and for the first time, I stood up to my brother. That moment, fueled by years of pent-up anger, ended in a physical fight. I won. In just a few seconds, I gained my freedom, knowing he would never control me again.
My young adult years brought a new set of challenges—failed relationships and a short-lived marriage. After my divorce, I found myself in a toxic, three-year relationship that lasted far too long. I then fell into another damaging relationship, this time with someone who caused more harm than I could have anticipated. That 18-month period left me with severe PTSD, hospitalized on my own birthday, and emotionally shattered. I dropped 35 pounds and struggled to function—cooking, cleaning, even basic self-care became impossible. When she left, I was determined to figure out what had happened, why I had accepted that treatment, and how to protect myself in the future. Despite everything, I still believed in love. I wanted a family more than anything.
That search for understanding led me to my now-wife. We didn’t meet in a traditional way, but in an online support group for survivors of narcissistic and sociopathic abuse. It wasn’t exactly a dating site, but we connected deeply over shared experiences. Fast forward to today, we’ve been married for almost nine years. We have an 8-year-old child together, and I’m also the proud stepfather to a 12-year-old from her previous relationship. But here’s the catch—we live apart. My wife is from Canada, and I’m from Southern California. We’ve spent our entire relationship long-distance, fighting to be together.
In 2019, we went to trial to move my stepdaughter to the U.S., and we lost. Since then, we’ve been managing a life of FaceTime calls, letters, and where I spend six months a year in Canada It’s far from ideal, but we make it work. I send letters every week, and every summer, they spend a month with me in California. The separation is tough, but there’s hope. In the near future, we’ll try again to move my stepdaughter. This time, she’ll be old enough to have her voice heard in court, and we believe that could change everything.
These are the sources of my resilience. Nothing in my life has been harder than the time spent away from my family. Nothing. But that’s also why I fight every day—to be with them, to give them the life we all deserve.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I have been a coach for over two decades, working closely with people to impart the strength to overcome the obstacles in their life that I have learned to do. I am also the co-creator and co-host of the MySGV Podcast. Our vision is to unite and bring about a sense of pride to the San Gabriel Valley. Our mission is to document and share the stories of the people of the San Gabriel Valley. I am always excited to create the comfortable and safe space for our guests to be vulnerable and share the more intimate and impactful points of their journey with us and our audience. It’s an honour to be able to chronicle and document the oral history of this time and place that has meant so much to me and everyone else who knows how special the San Gabriel Valley is. We are approaching our 4th year as a podcast and are just now starting to offer ways for our devoted listeners and fans to support our show through Patreon, online MySGV merchandise, and for the very first time this fall we are going to start offering advertising opportunities for the SGV to reach our community through our show.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Adaptability tops my list of crucial qualities on my life’s journey. Growing up without much stability taught me to expect the unexpected, preparing me for anything. This skill shines brightest in crisis management, helping me navigate tough situations.
Patience is another game-changer. I learned its value through countless moments that tested me. I vividly recall a time when impatience strained my relationships. I prayed for patience, only to face even tougher tests. People often describe me as patient, but I see it as a willingness to persist longer than most.
Lastly, my knack for easing into difficult conversations has been invaluable in coaching and podcasting. My voice and approach seem to comfort others, fostering openness.
For those seeking adaptability, start by exploring your fears and negative beliefs. As for patience, it grows through testing times—not by staying silent but by assertively navigating challenges. When making others comfortable, genuine interest speaks volumes through your posture, body language, and attentive presence.
Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
The number one obstacle I face now is being separated from my wife and children. I live in Pasadena. My wife and kids live in Manitoba, Canada. I knew that starting a relationship with my wife in another country was going to present challenges and we were ready to face them all. We’re used to living our lives with the distance between us using FaceTime and letter writing as our main means of connection while we are apart. I spent 182 days a year in Canada with my family as that is the maximum time I can spend there without having to become a permanent resident. In the summers they spend a month with me in Pasadena. That’s 7 months out of the year together… and 5 months apart. It’s a dance that we’ve had to make the best of since losing mobility trail in 2019 to move my oldest (step daughter) out of the country. Now we wait until her voice can be heard by the court on where she would like to live. It’s not a set age like it is in some states. It’s not even a certainty that the courts will agree with and grant her desire on where to live. For now, I have to make the most of my opportunities with my family and cherish every moment with them. Having the podcast affords me the freedom to work remotely and to have the precious time with my family until they can move to California. Any way that listeners can support our show, like and share our content is always free. More meaningful support of the show is to buy some merchandise to represent the SGV and become a member on Patreon.
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- Website: https://mysgv.net
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- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@mysgvpodcast
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