We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Ruth Rathblott. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Ruth below.
Ruth, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
Growing up with a limb difference, I spent a big part of my life in the shadows, trying my best to blend in and not draw attention to what made me different. For twenty-five years, it wasn’t just about hiding my physical difference; it was about trying to shield myself from potential judgment and rejection. The turning point for me wasn’t a single moment but a series of small, brave steps towards accepting myself and letting others in.
Acknowledging my difference was the first, and perhaps the hardest, step. It meant facing my fears head-on and recognizing that my limb difference was holding me back from connection. I had to retrain the language in my brain, that my hand wasn’t something to be ashamed of but rather a unique aspect of who I am. This realization didn’t happen overnight. It was a gradual process fueled by moments of courage and the support of those around me. Inviting someone into my world and sharing my insecurities and hopes opened up a new level of connection I hadn’t thought possible. It was scary, but it taught me the power of vulnerability.
Building my community came next. I started connecting with others who shared similar experiences and challenges. These connections were transformative, providing me with a sense of belonging I had never felt before. Through this community, I found the strength to share my story more broadly. Each time I shared, I found more of my voice and saw the impact it could have on others. Sharing my journey, primarily through platforms like my TEDx talk, “When I Stopped Hiding, I Found Freedom,” and writing my story through my book, “Singlehandedly. Learning to Unhide and Embrace Connection.” became a way to empower myself and reach out to others who might be struggling with their differences.
The journey from hiding to unhiding wasn’t easy. It was filled with moments of doubt and fear. But it was also one of the most liberating experiences of my life. Learning to embrace my difference boosted my confidence and self-esteem and allowed me to connect with others on a much deeper level. I’ve learned that our differences are not just obstacles to overcome; they’re opportunities to grow, connect, and inspire. And that’s a message I’m passionate about sharing with the world.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
Absolutely. As someone deeply engaged in issues of inclusion and belonging, my journey centers on ensuring that everyone feels seen and heard, recognizing that diversity encompasses a multitude of backgrounds, experiences, and challenges. One of the core problems I’m dedicated to solving is the pervasive and universal issue of hiding—whether in our workplaces or within our personal lives, many of us feel compelled to mask parts of our identities due to fear of judgment or rejection. It could be our physical appearance, our family backgrounds, level of education, finances, the list goes on. This hiding can significantly impact mental health and overall well-being — it’s exhausting and lonely.
Throughout my career, and personally, as someone born with a limb difference, I’ve experienced firsthand the exhausting and often lonely effort required to conceal parts of oneself to fit societal norms. This issue came into sharp focus during a pivotal moment in my professional life when I realized my contributions to diversity discussions were being overlooked because they didn’t fit the conventional narratives. This experience underscored the importance of expanding our understanding of diversity to include all facets of human identity, including those often overlooked, like disabilities. The way we define diversity contributes to hiding.
My work now aims to foster cultures where people feel safe and supported to unhide and share their best selves. This involves educating leaders and communities about the nuances of inclusion, advocating for policies that support openness, and cultivating environments where empathy and curiosity with kindness lead to interactions.
In my book “Singlehandedly: Learning to Unhide and Embrace Connection,” I explore the transformative power of owning and sharing our differences. I advocate for a shift from a checklist mentality to embracing a more empathetic and comprehensive approach to inclusion. By fostering environments where everyone can unhide and thrive, we not only enhance individual well-being but also enrich our collective culture, leading to more innovative, compassionate, and effective collaborations.
My Northstar is to create a world where everyone can feel not just included but celebrated for their unique contributions and identities — where we build connection around our differences. Through my speaking engagements, workshops, and writing, I provide practical guidance on how organizations and individuals can shift toward more inclusive practices so that people can feel fully seen.
For those interested in starting their own journey of unhiding and connection, I invite you to explore my book and engage with the resources available on my website. Together, we can build a world where diversity in all its forms is genuinely valued and where everyone has the freedom to be their true selves.
The journey starts by asking yourself:
* Have you ever felt you had to hide part of yourself to fit in?
* Do you think anyone on your team at work or in your family has?
* Do you wish you could be part of an inclusive community where people feel seen and heard and different experiences and perspectives are valued?
Yes? Then you are in the right place.
This is a conversation for everyone. And it will require you to think about yourself, those on your team, and your life in introspective ways.
Check out:
TEDx: When I Stopped Hiding, I Found Freedom: https://www.ted.com/talks/ruth_rathblott_when_i_stopped_hiding_i_found_freedom
BOOK
Singlehandedly: Learning to Unhide and Embrace Connection.
https://geni.us/singlehandedly
Book Synopsis
What are you hiding?
Chances are there is something about you that makes you different, that makes you feel you don’t belong. Many of us hide—our ethnicity, sexuality, mental health, disability, religion…the list goes on. The diversity and inclusion movement has emboldened some to come out of the shadows. But too often, disability is not included in that conversation.
Ruth Rathblott was born with a limb difference. In her compelling and intimate memoir, she recounts the exhausting and often lonely years she spent overachieving and trying to hide her disability before she learned to unhide. She takes us on a journey of self-discovery: discovering her difference, being taught to hide it, and ultimately finding self-acceptance and connection with others.
This book will show you how to build a world of true acceptance, inclusion, and belonging. By the end, you will understand the need to:
- Own your difference—it’s your greatest gift!
- Find connection and community by allowing others in to support you
- Create inclusive conversations that allow for curiosity and empathy
- Recognize why representation is essential to creating an inclusive environment
- Realize the power of sharing your story
Singlehandedly is a book for all of us who have been hiding our differences and want to find freedom, for leaders who want to build more inclusive teams, and for diversity and inclusion directors committed to expanding the diversity conversation to include everyone.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Reflecting on my journey from hiding to unhiding, I’d say the three most impactful qualities that helped me navigate this path were resilience, empathy, and effective communication.
Resilience is like a muscle—the more you use it, the stronger it gets. My journey taught me that setbacks and challenges weren’t roadblocks but opportunities to grow stronger. For those early in their journey, I’d recommend embracing challenges as learning experiences. When you stumble, take a moment to reflect on what happened and why. This reflection isn’t about dwelling on the negative but understanding how to move forward more robustly. Surround yourself with people who support and believe in you, but also don’t shy away from constructive criticism. It’s all part of building that resilience muscle.
Empathy was crucial in not only understanding my own feelings but also in connecting with others on a deeper level. It allowed me to step into the shoes of those different from me and appreciate their perspectives and struggles. To develop empathy, actively listen to the stories and experiences of others without judgment. Try to understand where they’re coming from, even if their experiences are vastly different from your own. Volunteering, joining support groups, or having open conversations with friends and family can be great ways to practice and deepen your empathy.
Effective communication was the key that unlocked many doors for me. It wasn’t just about sharing my story; it was about doing so in a way that resonated with others. I’d suggest starting with authenticity for anyone looking to improve their communication skills. Be true to your story and your emotions. Be consistent in how you show up. From there, practice is your best friend. Whether writing in a journal, speaking to a trusted friend, or engaging in public speaking opportunities, each effort helps refine your ability to compellingly convey your thoughts and feelings.
My advice for those beginning their journey is to be patient with yourself. Growth takes time, and while developing resilience, empathy, and communication skills, remember that progress is not always linear. Celebrate the small victories, learn from the setbacks, and keep moving forward with an open heart and mind. You have a unique story that only you can tell, and the world is richer for it. Embrace that, and let it guide you on your path to unhiding.
As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?
While traveling in Amsterdam last year, I was reminded again of how profoundly “The Diary of Anne Frank” impacted me as a child and still today. As I was sitting in the cafe after the tour of the Anne Frank House, I was journaling and thinking about the courage and bravery that was exhibited by Anne Frank and her family but also the people who helped shelter them.
I continue to think of the themes of hiding and unhiding and feeling the need to hide because
of who you are and how others may perceive you. I recognize the privilege in being able to unhide, and the real fear and unsafety that exists for certain groups still in 2024.
Contact Info:
- Email: [email protected]
- Website: https://ruthrathblott.com
- Instagram: ruthrath
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ruth-rathblott/
- Youtube: @ruthrathblott62
- Other: Book: Singlehandedly. Learning to Unhide and Embrace Connection. https://geni.us/singlehandedly TEDx: When I Stopped Hiding, I Found Freedom https://www.ted.com/talks/ruth_rathblott_when_i_stopped_hiding_i_found_freedom
Image Credits
Maggie Margueritte Studio
