Meet Ryan Alvarez-Cohen

We were lucky to catch up with Ryan Alvarez-Cohen recently and have shared our conversation below.

Ryan, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?

Speaking in front of other people is hard. And its especially hard for me.

This has been the case for as long as I can remember, going back to the days when I was in the first grade and never raised my hand to answer questions proposed by my teacher.

Today I speak in front of people often.
I’m not addressing large auditoriums with thousands in capacity (yet), but I’m frequently talking to groups of people from 10 to 50 in size and occasionally up to 100.
This is a story not about how I overcame my fear of speaking in front of people but how I’ve learned to manage it and not let it hold me back.

The story starts on the day when I was a sophomore in high school and I was in economics class.

We were engaging in an activity where half of the class was taking part in a group discussion, based on a reading we did, while the other half was taking notes on the discussion.

Everyone was required to participate in the discussion and participation happened in a popcorn-like style.
Once the current speaker finished, they threw a soft, rubber ball to someone else of their choice who was then the next person to speak on the topic.

My friend had just made a comment and as he was trailing off his eyes found mine and a grin formed on his face.
Clearly, I was going to be next person to speak.

Immediately, I experienced my heart racing, palms sweating, and face flushing.
It was super uncomfortable. I hated it.

I caught the ball and not a second later words were spilling out of my mouth.
I don’t remember exactly what I said but I got about 1 to 2 sentences out before my brain went blank.

I couldn’t think of anything to say.
I had nothing to say.

But I had done the reading and I had even caught up on the content before class.
So the information was somewhere in my mind, but in that moment, I couldn’t retrieve any of it.

I was paralyzed, anxious and confused, unsure about what to do next.
Do I pass the ball to someone else?
Do I wait until I figure out something more to say?
1-2 sentences, that was it, I had barely said anything. I couldn’t just pass the ball now, I had to say something more.

So I sat there in silence for about 5 seconds wracking my brain for something, anything, before the words started coming out again.
But this time, I didn’t come close to stringing even 1 to 2 sentences together.
This time, the words I spoke were meaningless.

They formed nothing close to a coherent sentence and to this day I wonder if they were even all real English words.
Eventually I stopped making words and sounds and the entire classroom was silent.
I threw the ball.

The discussion continued and I sat there, red-faced, stunned, mortified.
What the fuck just happened? And how can I erase myself from the surface of the earth?

All of my classmates and my teacher just saw one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.
How was I going to get past that?

Life continued, as it does.
I graduated high school and went to college.
But this experience stuck with me.
As a result, I continued to rarely participate in group discussions.

Through all of high school and college, even with the struggles I had with public speaking, I always was and had been an ambitious person.
I had big aspirations for myself.
So, when the opportunity to join the founding team at Popl (a tech start up) came along, I jumped at it.

As of today, I’ve been a Popl for over 4 years.
My roles transitioned from Data Analyst to Head of Data to VP of Product and now Chief Product Officer.
Over the course of those 4+ years and the various roles I held, I had experiences that got me to the point I’m at today.
A point where public speaking is still not easy for me, but I am able to find comfort in the discomfort of it and I’m able to speak effectively, at least most of the time 🙂

Here are some of the experiences and learnings I’ve picked up along the way that got me to where I am today:

1. Start small. When I first started taking on leadership roles within the company and I started to engage with others often, the teams I was working with were small, less than 10 or even less than 5 people. Talking in groups like this was easy. Over time, the teams grew one by one and we started having the occasional really large meeting. Next thing I knew, I was addressing groups of 20+ a couple times a week and I felt comfortable doing it. This trajectory has continued through today, where our team continues to grow and so do the sizes of the groups of people I talk to.

2. Public speaking is easier when it’s on a topic/subject you truly are interested in. In most public speaking situations, whether it’s within Popl or outside of it, I’m generally talking about topics that I am interested in and enjoy talking about. As a result, I’m more comfortable, which makes the communication piece easier and more natural because it’s coming from a place of genuine interest and happiness. Just think about a topic that you love. There is a good chance you can talk about that topic with anyone for a long period of time.

3. Dare to be dull. Just say the thing. When going through preparations and when actually speaking to groups, don’t try to over complicate the information you want to share with long or fancy words. It won’t elevate your presence in your listeners mind. Instead, it will distance you from them and your message won’t connect with as many people. Simply communicate the information in as plain and straightforward a way as possible.

4. The beginning is always the toughest. At the start of any public speaking, the nerves are the highest. You have to ride this part of the wave and typically after a minute or 2, you get in to a groove and begin to feel more comfortable. You can use the 2 next tips to help with this part of the wave.

5. Throw a question in early if you can, it can be even be a rhetorical one. When you ask a question, it makes the communication you’re giving more conversational which changes the dynamic from you talking TO everyone to you talking WITH everyone.

6. Throw a joke in early if you can. Anything to get you and your audience laughing helps ease the tension.

7. When possible, communicate through stories. Not only do stories better engage your listeners, but more importantly, they are fun to tell. The more fun you are having during public speaking the better a state of mind you will be in and the better you will perform.

8. Keep finding opportunities to talk in front of people, whether you like it or not. The more of anything that you do, the more comfortable you become doing it and the easier it gets. I love telling myself, it went well the last time so it will go well again the next time.

9. Lastly, be accepting of failure. It is inevitable that you will have some tough and uncomfortable experiences along the way and you just have to accept that. It is part of growth. One of the first times I spoke on a panel, it went really poorly. I was visibly nervous and clearly fumbled many of my responses to the questions asked of me. It was another embarrassing experience. But, as soon as it ended I wanted nothing more than a chance to do it again – and to do it better. So after we wrapped up, I went over the host and told her I was for more opportunities like this one, and she (surprisingly) invited me to another panel. I did much better at the next one and my confidence grew.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

For the last few years, my life has been centered around helping Popl grow, through leading the product team. I wouldn’t want it any other way. I love what I do and the people I work with. I haven’t really touched on what we do at Popl yet. So, to put it simply, we help companies with in-person lead capture. Our customers use Popl to capture leads at conferences, tradeshows and other in person gatherings or networking events.

My day to day is filled with customer interactions and finding ways to do a better job solving our customer’s problems with in-person lead capture. I’m fortunate to work closely with good friends and even some family members which makes the long days all the more enjoyable.

Outside of Popl, playing soccer is where I find the most mental piece and happiness. It’s the best way for me to unplug and recharge. I also love traveling and exploring new cities.

I recently moved to New York and I’m an avid tea drinker. So, I’ve recently started throwing tea parties. I think tea doesn’t get enough appreciation and through these events I try to create a vibe where people can connect and build closer relationships over different types of tea.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

1. Curiosity
2. Critical thinking
3. Empathy

I think being curious is the most important quality that anyone can posses. When you are curious about the world you open yourself up to everything the world has to offer and all of the opportunities and solutions within it. At Popl, a lot of the insights and breakthroughs we’ve made began with a good question. In order to ask relevant and meaningful questions, we need to be curious. Curious about the problems we’re solving, the use cases that apply, the customers we have, and lots more.
I think having a strong sense of curiosity is helpful for any role within a company. To cultivate this ability, I recommend that people start asking questions about everything going on around them! It certainly doesn’t have to be related to work specifically. Ask questions about why things are the way they are everywhere you go.

Critical thinking is another crucial skill that anyone who is solving problems should be capable of. To gain a deep understanding of a situation or problem, it’s important to be able to think from a first-principles perspective and breakdown a problem into its smaller pieces. Having this ability also makes you a great addition to any team. A good way to build this skill is to problem solve! Don’t be afraid to take on more problems and see how you deal with them.

Lastly, empathy is an especially important quality for someone in a role like mine. The product we are building is solving the problems of other people, not my own. So as a result it’s necessary to empathize with our customers and put myself in their shoes. From their POV, how do they view their problems and what’s their use case? Talking directly to customers and putting myself in the situations where their problems (and our solutions) exist is helpful for me to be empathetic of them.
I think empathy is also an important quality for anyone in a leadership position, if they want to get along and be especially productive with the people they work with. To practice being more empathetic, start taking the time to consider other’s perspectives. A good time to do this, which is not always easy, is during a conflict. Next time you have a conflict with someone, take the time to think about the problem from their perspective.

These are 3 super important qualities that I work on improving each and every day.

Okay, so before we go, is there anyone you’d like to shoutout for the role they’ve played in helping you develop the essential skills or overcome challenges along the way?

There are 2 primary resources that I would attribute most to helping me build knowledge and overcome challenges.
1. The group of people I spend the majority of my time with
2. Reading

Being around other smart and motivated people has inspired me to be one of the best versions of myself. Not only do they teach me a lot and push me to be better, but they also support me when I am facing challenge and I gain confidence knowing I can rely on them in tougher times. So I would strongly encourage people to consider if the the people they spend most of their time with are helping or hurting them achieve their goals and become the person they want to be.

Second, is reading. It goes without saying, but reading is great, and I’m not just talking about books. There’s tons of valuable things to read in articles and newsletters and other sources. Everyone should take time to read every day if possible and every week at a minimum. Most of what I’ve learned has come from reading, in one form or another. With all the sources of info to choose from, the challenge is being selective and focused about what you read. For instance, I try to be intentive with books, and if I get a quarter of the way through one and I’m not getting out of it what I wanted, then I have no issues moving on and finding another. There are also a handful of newsletters and people that I follow on Medium that I know will generally produce content I enjoy and find valuable. Lenny’s Newsletter is one of my favorites related to the world of Product.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://popl.co
• Instagram: ryan_alco
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryanalco/