Meet Ryan Ostofe

We recently connected with Ryan Ostofe and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Ryan, thank you so much for opening up with us about some important, but sometimes personal topics. One that really matters to us is overcoming Imposter Syndrome because we’ve seen how so many people are held back in life because of this and so we’d really appreciate hearing about how you overcame Imposter Syndrome.

I don’t believe you ever overcome imposter syndrome; and I don’t believe overcoming it should be the objective.

Overcoming imposter syndrome would be to understand that you ARE who you say you are and you are WHERE you should be. THE END.

For me, I’ve always been intrigued with the concept of what’s next and the discovery process that accompanies that journey.

To question what’s next is to consider a future you that doesn’t look, speak or act like the current version of you.

Simply by pursuing a version of yourself that isn’t the current version of you, puts you into a state of imposture.
The trick is to accept that this is part of the process. It’s phase 1 or 2 of the learning stages.

It’s common to hear someone say, success is a matter of being comfortable with being uncomfortable.

But that is a stupid thing to say.

How can you be comfortable while also being uncomfortable?

Although it sounds catchy and good, people don’t do it and because they don’t do it, they miss out on the magic.

So said differently, be generous with yourself during the uncomfortable state of growth. It’s uncomfortable AND it’s okay that it’s uncomfortable.

A really cool thing happens when you step into a room you feel like you don’t belong in.

First you realize, you’re in the room…. so by right, you belong.

Second, you realize, through conversation, that the room itself is not at all what you thought it was.

The next level (I’m not talking 10 levels) is often behind you in many cases; not ahead of you.

You find that you’re a lot smarter than a lot of the people in the room.

You find, in many ways, that you’re more valuable to them, then they are to you.

Imposture quickly converts to confidence.

Confidence leads to more doors opening up.

More doors equals more opportunity.

More opportunity leads to more learning.

Learning is uncomfortable.

To confidently know that you’re going to be uncomfortable; and to be generous with yourself throughout that stage….

What you do with that; and what is created as a result of that… you can fill in the rest yourself.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

The hardest thing to learn is the reframe. The biggest gaps from where you are to where you want to be, can be and likely will be hard; but most importantly they often feel disconnected to the big picture. A bad boss (or multiple), a bad opportunity, horrible co-workers, terrible client, losing out on a deal, theft, fraud, a lawsuit…. all of these are tremendously overwhelming and require so much effort to overcome. So much so that they not only pull you away from the big picture (like a distraction) but they deflate you in a way that makes you question “is this even worth the effort”. The answer is; it is worth it but inorder for you to see it as such, you have to learn how to reframe your situation. A bad boss goes from a bad boss to an example of what not to be when you’re the boss. A bad opportunity allows you the ability to sort and delete the next opportunity with velocity. Horrible co-workers provide you valuable insight as to the importance of cohesiveness and the hiring/firing process. A terrible Client give you the data needed to build your perfect avatar for marketing; and so on and so on. There is an old saying that goes Every breakdown creates the possibility of a breakthrough; and although that sounds like toxic positivity, it’s almost always true when it comes to business and life growth.

“It’s not what you know it’s who you know”. Having the proper mindset to reframe is the most important trait you can possess. The second most important (and it’s a close 2nd), is your ability to network. You can either pay your way in or be invited; and when you’re a broke fonder, paying your way in isn’t the fastest way to do it. Your network is directly reflected to your net worth. Understanding that, leaning into that is the best thing anyone can do. Do you want more money? talk to people who make more money than you. Don’t know how to solve a complicated business problem. Talk to someone who has a process for that. Success not only leaves clues, they leave a black book of contacts; and on your journey from founder to success story, remember, you’re only, and always, one conversation away.

Know your value and be of value. I believe, outside of a few select group of people, that people inherently do the best they can with what they have. However, the best they can is almost always self serving. So although they’re doing the best they can, they’re doing the best they can for themselves. Knowing this can feel somewhat defeating, particularly for the “let’s change the world” entrepreneur arcitype. Notwithstanding, understanding this, provides a unique insight into the motivating factor for the majority of people you encounter. To reframe that, if you can provide value to people who are self serving, you win! There is this invisible vibrational power/energy that exists; we call it; reciprocity. It’s this cosmic unspoken rule that states (but doesn’t state) that we feel a sense of obligation to do good things for people who do good things for us. Provide value, get value. The key, is to look for people who are living the life you want, and provide value to them. Because, going back to rule #2 – it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. Doing this, and doing it often, shatters “emposture syndrome”, opens up doors your thought you had no business being in and levels up your game at an accelerated rate.

We’ve all got limited resources, time, energy, focus etc – so if you had to choose between going all in on your strengths or working on areas where you aren’t as strong, what would you choose?

This is a wonderful question, and it’s wonderful because you could debate both side with ease. That said, I’ve strongly believed that the sooner you can enter into your zone of genius, the better you’ll be. What do I mean by that? There was a book called The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks, that discussed this concept in depth. Gay states that there are 4 zones of competence. Incompetent, competent, highly competent and Genius. Many entrepreneurs spend far too much time in the competent stage of their business; doing things they’re okay at vs to doing things they’re great at or even better, the best in the world at. Why is that? for the most part, it starts as a way for founders to save valuable money, but quickly becomes a trap when they don’t transfer that knowledge over fast enough. The goal of any founder should be to scale; and scaling involves systems; systems meaning people and processes. Imagine a world where you had people in place (peoples who’s zone of highly competent) to do the work you weren’t great at, so that you could focus 100% of your efforts on the tasks you’re better than anyone in the world at. How fast do you think your business would scale, how much exposure would the world have to you, and how much attention would that give you and your business? For thousands of years its been known and proven, that exponential growth requires teams and teamwork for success (maybe AI will change that). As a founder, you need to surround yourself with people who see your vision and have the skills required to support you in getting there. Your job is to shift from founder to CEO as quickly as possible; building a system that allows you access to everything at a glance (dashboard) and people you trust to manage the things you’re not great at, so that you can go be great!

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.rileycoopergroup.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaughingcouple/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryanostofe/

Image Credits

Kaylee LaRose