We recently connected with Sabrina Santa Clara and have shared our conversation below.
Sabrina, so great to have you with us and we want to jump right into a really important question. In recent years, it’s become so clear that we’re living through a time where so many folks are lacking self-confidence and self-esteem. So, we’d love to hear about your journey and how you developed your self-confidence and self-esteem.
How did you develop your confidence and self-esteem
I wasn’t always a confident person. For a long time, I felt I had little to offer the world, a feeling that stemmed from growing up in a home marked by extensive violence and trauma. There was a time when my sense of self-shame was so overwhelming that I walked with my head down, feeling unworthy to even meet the gaze of another. I even went so far as to starve myself in an attempt to diminish my presence. This deep desire to be invisible was in stark contrast to my desperate need to be seen, loved, and valued. Looking back now, it feels almost surreal to recall the intensity of my insecurity and the pain of my own self-hatred.
This is especially striking because many people who meet me now would describe me as confident. The transformation from a sad, self-deprecating teenager to the confident elder I am today was a long and multifaceted journey, marked by countless small steps. It began with working out. Immersing myself in fitness, building muscle, and gaining physical strength gave me a sense of superficial confidence. As my appearance changed and others started treating me with more respect, it positively impacted how I saw myself. I began to feel emotionally stronger as well; the physical changes I was experiencing seemed to influence my internal state. Through this process, I also discovered my capacity to tackle challenges and realized that I had real power over my own life.
Another crucial step in my journey to confidence was returning to school. During high school, I was dealing with the fallout of complex PTSD and a life-threatening eating disorder, which understandably resulted in a 1.0 GPA. I decided to enroll in junior college and take remedial classes, such as study skills and basic English. To my surprise, I discovered that I wasn’t the dummy I thought I was. Gaining pride in these achievements—being smart and physically strong—didn’t instantly grant me the confidence I have today, but they were essential stepping stones on the path to self-assurance. These two stepping stones bolstered my Self-esteem enough to move away from my home town and to San Francisco where my internal work began in earnest.
I began practicing, and then teaching, yoga and meditation, immersing myself in a variety of reading materials, from self-help and psychology books to spiritual texts. Alongside this, I worked with several insightful therapists. All this played a crucial role in laying the groundwork for deeper healing and growth.
The most significant boost to my confidence came from working with an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist to address the wounded parts of myself and the coping mechanisms that had been driving my life. This was a multi-year, deeply layered process of dismantling old belief systems and ways of navigating life rooted in early trauma. In my early 20s, much of my confidence and self-esteem were tied to external achievements—whether related to my body, intellect, or work. From that perspective, I could feel confident about specific accomplishments. However, this did not translate to a fundamental sense of self-confidence or unconditional self-love. My sense of self-worth was contingent upon completing tasks or achieving goals, rather than an intrinsic acceptance of myself.
Now, I can confidently say that I am a person who embodies confidence—or more accurately, I simply “am.” This deep knowingness and unconditional self-love have given me a foundational confidence that I never imagined possible in my earlier years. Being in tune with my own essence and embracing my inherent worth has also made me more attuned to what is true for me and what passions want to live through me. As I live into my authenticity, I find myself more attuned to and connected with the fullness of the world around me—the fullness of the trees and the river, the vitality of the squirrels and the wind, the just-right-ness of my friends. This wholeness that is not only within me, but within all things. This sense of my own wholeness and being in the rightful place within the broader order of things fosters a quiet, unwavering confidence that flows through me.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I’ve navigated many paths in life, each seamlessly flowing into the next, and I often see myself as an integrationist. My background spans roles as a yoga instructor, massage therapist, and somatic psychedelic therapist, among others. Currently, my focus has shifted toward training and educating others in the healing professions. I’ve developed a refined version of the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model, which I call Neoshamanic Internal Family Systems (NIFS). While IFS excels at addressing and healing the inner life of individuals, it falls short in acknowledging the profound healing potential of community, nature, and the Spirit world. In this approach, healing transcends traditional psychotherapy; it involves calling upon guides and community as essential agents of healing.
In my current work, I focus on cultivating healing across three realms as identified in Neoshamanic IFS: the inner world (Our Authentic Self and parts), the Outer World (family, community, friends, nature, etc.) and the Mystical World (guides, spirits, angesl, god, etc.). To integrate this healing process, I draw upon various models and practices, including creative arts, nature connection, ritual, authentic relating, and embodied movement. I am also writing a book on Neoshamanic Internal Family Systems (NIFS) and making time for as many experiential trainings as my schedule allows. You can find more information about me on my website sabrinasantaclara.com or on my youtube page @sabrinasantaclara
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
If I could offer three things to people who are early in their journey it would be find authentic relating or circling groups. They will help you to find a community of people with whom you can be real and grow with. The second is, find an IFS facilitator or therapist to work with. I’ve seen this change peoples lives, myself included, in phenomenal ways. And the third is simply the invitation to trust yourself. Trust what calls to you and follow that.
Is there a particular challenge you are currently facing?
My current struggle is what many of us face – balancing everything with limited time. Writing a book demands a lot of dedication, and life has a way of pulling us in different directions. Here’s how I’m managing it:
1. Dedicated Space: I turned my shed into a writing haven to minimize distractions and foster focus.
2. Morning Priority: I write first thing in the morning, making it my top priority before other tasks can interfere.
3. Principle of More “No” Equals More “Yes”: By saying no to non-priorities, I create more room to say yes to what truly matters.
4. “Less Is More”: I’m simplifying my life by removing what I don’t need, creating physical and mental space for creativity.
5. Seeking Support: I have a writing coach and lean on the support I need to stay on track.
These strategies help me stay focused and make the most of my time.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.SabrinaSantaClara.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Neoshamanic.ifs/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/neoshamanic.ifs
- Linkedin: http://linkedin.com/in/sabrinasantaclara
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@sabrinasantaclara
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.