Meet Safrianna Lughna

We were lucky to catch up with Safrianna Lughna recently and have shared our conversation below.

Safrianna, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?

If you had told me five years ago that I would be where I am now, I would have laughed and said it wasn’t possible. I was scared to show up as me, terrified of being visible and putting my name on anything. I cowered at the idea that people from my past might see me being myself and swoop in to stop me.

The truth is—this being brave, confident, and owning my worth was not something that came easily to me. I grew up in a gauntlet of generational trauma, then survived adulthood domestic violence. All of this unfortunately contributed to my tendency to people please and make myself small to try and stay safe. Throughout my childhood and 20s, I had few boundaries, said yes to every request, and shut down all of my personal goals that didn’t directly and immediately benefit others.

In my mid 20s, I found an excellent therapist who taught me the power of compassion. With compassion as a foundation, I was able to step into more self-awareness and eventually, self-love. In self-love, I found a deep knowingness of my inherent worth and dignity as a human being. I began to unpack many of the limiting stories I’d carried with me throughout my life.

I was inspired to get my degree in Community Mental Health so I could impact the system around me for the better. While earning my Masters degree, I studied a variety of wellness modalities, even having the opportunity to design my own graduate level course on some of the more obscure techniques. During that time, I practiced EFT Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique) and other tapping based tools, learned the Chakra system and meridians, explored the mind-body connection through various integrative medicine studies, and found the power of mantra or affirmation.

After graduating, I went on to study Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Each new technique I learned brought new information to my worldview, strengthening my sense of self and skills as a healer. Through MBCT, I connected with my breath and nervous system responses. Through IFS, I healed “Parts” of myself that were carrying wounds. With ACT, I started to master the shadow-light flow that is inherent to the human experience, understanding there are some things out of my control.

Each of these pieces were like stepping stones through my garden of life culminating with a major shift in how I look at and value myself. A lot of what I owe my self-esteem to was a glance in the mirror, well after a lot of training and professional credentials. About a year after I was already working as a therapist, I was washing my hands in a church bathroom. When I looked up to get a paper towel, I instead met my own eyes in the reflection and a profound sense of self-acceptance washed over me. This was the moment when all of the experiences in therapy, all the practice of healing techniques to offer my own clients, and my own self-awareness intersected and integrated within me. I came home to myself, and fell in love with myself for the first time!

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I’m a multipassionate creative — meaning it’s hard to describe me and what I do in just a few words! That’s part of why I built Living LUNA, a multi-pronged brand committed to “Uplifting the Others.” Through Living LUNA, I’ve curated a space online where creatives, healers, geeks, queer and polyamorous people, alternatively spiritual people, and the self-proclaimed “weirdos” can come together, share memes, stories, and support.

Living LUNA is the public facing name for our brand, but it was designed intentionally from the ground up! Our company is actually called LUNA Counseling & Creative Services, LLC, because we’re so much more than a wellness brand! We create art, music, mindfulness meditations, rituals, photography, host workshops and retreats. We also offer digital self-development courses, counseling, consulting, and guidance services. I personally help visionary leaders, healers, and creatives get unstuck by finding their soul-level blueprint for success.

Ultimately though? I am an author at heart.
Being a writer is the most important role or identity to me. In the past year, I’ve really shifted to being a CEO for our brand as it expands while focusing a majority of my time and attention on writing books. Since making this pivot, I’ve published my first novel Bumble Bees & White Balloons, a poetry collection called A Woman’s Work, and the collaborative anthology Shadow Alchemy. My next poetry book, Daddy’s Girl, is launching any day now.

In the coming year, I’ll likely be releasing some science fiction fantasy-type stories. I’m really looking forward to it!

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

I want to offer three qualities that I developed that have radically changed my relationship with the world: self-awareness, ownership, and compassion. These three are cornerstones of taking charge in our life and ending any feelings of being a “victim to our circumstances.”

Self-Awareness — Who are we really? We’re constantly changing creatures, impacted by situations, conditions, interactions, and our own internal landscape. Yet, most of us avoid really looking within because we’re afraid of what we might find there. Without self-awareness of how we’re impacting others and ourselves, we are very much powerless to make changes.

Taking a real look at our feelings, thoughts, behaviors, and how we show up in the world can begin to shift things. I suggest starting a journaling practice to cultivate self-awareness. I didn’t begin routine journaling until I was in my early 30s and it radically improved my recognition of patterns in my life, things that were frustrating me, and things that were working out. I became so much more mindful through various journaling practices — doing workbook worksheets or journal prompts; keeping a moon journal; and morning pages per Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way. One of my favorite initial practices was a “to-done” list at the end of the day: a quick journal of the things I accomplished that day!

Ownership — As we open our awareness, we may see things we don’t like, just as we may have feared. But, the power of ownership is taking charge of what is ours so that we can shift away from patterns that don’t really serve our highest good. Only with ownership can we take responsibility for our role in our own life. While owning past mistakes I made or negative impact I had was uncomfortable, it opened me up to designing a life that was truly mine rather than operating under others rules. I realized I’m responsible for me!

If you’re scared about taking ownership or the idea brings up shame, I understand! I encourage you to practice compassion as you navigate taking responsibility in your life. Ask yourself what you want your life to look like. Where your life does not match what you desire, ask why. Are you holding yourself back? Are you maintaining relationships or circumstances that aren’t truly supporting you? What can you release? Where are you convincing yourself you “can’t?”

Compassion — Self-compassion involves treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding we would offer to a good friend during difficult times. It means acknowledging our own struggles and imperfections without harsh judgment, and recognizing that experiencing hardship is a universal part of being human. This is the true cornerstone of everything in life. Life has its ups and downs, good days and bad, miracles and tragedies. We cannot avoid this ebb and flow nature of life. So why not be gentle with ourselves? Why not offer ourselves the utmost tenderness?

That said, I like to remind people that “Compassion does not equal enabling.” Just because we are showing ourselves compassion does not mean we allow ourselves to keep doing the things that have a negative impact. That’s why ownership and self-awareness are so important, too! Together, these elements can create empowerment, embodiment, and self-alignment.

Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?

Wow! The answer that arose for this question both surprised and delighted me. The book that has played the biggest role in my development is my debut poetry collection, A Woman’s Work. While this was my second self-published book, it was my first memoir really exploring the impact of my traumatic experiences and low-self worth. I would say that it was greatly inspired by fellow poets, Andrea Gibson, Maya Angelou, and Megan Falley.

In publishing this book, I healed so much. It allowed me to start my journey in liberating myself from over-work. I released years and generations of trauma. I liberated the lost and longing parts of me from years of silence. I found my voice.

What I learned is this: I can fully express myself. I can stand in my power. I am embodied, brave, and bold. And you can be, too.

While A Woman’s Work book is mostly memoir, there are many poems I hope inspire others.

Here are some gems of wisdom that arose in the poems. I hope you’ll take these to heart:

– Our reason for being here on Earth is not to work ourselves to death. Follow your dreams and listen to the messages of your heart.

– It can be scary to explore and expose our shadows. But as we do, we gain clarity and move into new levels of being with more and more of our gifts.

– The Universe does not hustle. Rushing really moves us backwards. Go at your own pace whenever you can.

– Our NO is sacred. Honor it!

– Your pure essence is love. Be the love!

– Your truth is important. Don’t suppress it.

Contact Info:

Image Credits

Ikenna Lughna of Living LUNA
Amanda Lucia of Amanda Lucia Photography

Suggest a Story: BoldJourney is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems,
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
Resilience
Portraits of Resilience

Sometimes just seeing resilience can change out mindset and unlock our own resilience. That’s our

Productivity
Perspectives on Staying Creative

We’re beyond fortunate to have built a community of some of the most creative artists,

Confidence
Kicking Imposter Syndrome to the Curb

This is the year to kick the pesky imposter syndrome to the curb and move