Meet Sam Hopwood

Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Sam Hopwood. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.

Sam, first a big thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and insights with us today. I’m sure many of our readers will benefit from your wisdom, and one of the areas where we think your insight might be most helpful is related to imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is holding so many people back from reaching their true and highest potential and so we’d love to hear about your journey and how you overcame imposter syndrome.

I don’t think we ever overcome imposter syndrome and the day that we do is the day we should hang up the towel because it means that we’re not at our growth-edge. There’s either nothing else to learn or you’ve lost interest in learning more about whatever it is you’re doing and for me, I take that as I sign to stop and pivot or push through to find the growth-edge again.

Insecurities of all flavors exist to show us where we need to do some work. Sometimes that is a legitimate gap in skills and I’ve had to learn how to have discernment to determine where I need to seek out more information/mentors/classes/workshops. But sometimes it’s just an ego flair up that needs to be soothed. In that case, I get curious, stay out of judgment and ask myself what I would need to feel more secure about what I’m engaging in.

I have learned to *manage* my imposter syndrome by developing an unshakable inner trust. There was a moment in my mid-20’s where I lost sight of my own values and was swept up in a mentality of compare and despair. I reset by digging for my own values, 3-5 concepts that I knew I could stand for and that I could organize my life around. I use the metaphor of tentpoles- my values are the tentpoles and anything that I’m doing within those tentpoles is within my integrity. This is the foundation of everything that I do. Coming back to my values, remembering that I’m within my integrity, keeps me out of the place of imposter syndrome and insecurity and reminds me that I’m just someone who is learning on the job in everything that I do. I don’t have to do it perfectly or follow someone else’s path, I just have to stick to what is right for me.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

I’m a writer and a painter. It’s taken a long time to write that with confidence, but at my core, that’s what I’m doing in this phase of life. I seem to work in 7 year cycles. I started in the restaurant world in coffee and then as a baker/pastry cook. Then I shifted into photography and screenwriting. And now I’m writing screenplays and a book and painting, with plans to return to bread-baking in the near future. I’m constantly shifting my ecosystem to accommodate my passions, my curiosities and to keep me engaged and fresh with each modality.

I spent the last 7 years as a professional wedding photographer in NYC and I just put that business down in January of this year. I’m writing a book called Field Notes From A Saturn Return detailing the last 5 years of my life and what happens as we cross the threshold into our thirties in astrological terms. It’s a moment of “What are you taking with you and what are you leaving behind?” as you cross into capital A-Adulthood. Saturn is thought of as the high-femme daddy of the sky, ruling boundaries and career and values and responsibility. If that sounds like a bummer, it’s because it definitely can be! It’s a moment of big change and my Saturn Return was particularly brutal- gay divorce, pandemic, moving across the country, being on the road for 7 months seeking a new place to call home and ultimately returning to painting and writing as my core source of joy and purpose. It’s been a wild journey and I’m excited to pull the narrative together into a book.

I write a newsletter on Substack called The Quiet Part. I write about all the things we’re taught to stay quiet about or to relegate to our most intimate relationships: polyamory, queerness, decisions about becoming a parent or not, the tension of corporate life and creative life, and the nitty gritty of creative process. I’ve launched two workshops about creative process- The Conduit: Foundations for a Creative Practice and 90 Day Magic, a container that cultivates creative community and offers a framework for prioritizing your needs as you manage your time and energy.

My paintings are large, abstract canvases that represent the fabric of the Universe- the very matter we return to after we die. All color and sound, formless, eternal, expansive and ethereal. In 2022 I had a dear friend die unexpectedly and it launched me into an artistic conversation with the canvas about what happens to us after we die and how to communicate with each other beyond the limitations of this life. During that year I made several pieces just for her- paintings that were for her journey after death. “A Novel For The Journey” is the seminal piece of that series. Others included “Poems” and “Essays.” I had no words to process her death– just paint.

I’m currently working on a series of 12 48×48 canvases that are each monochromatic, called Colors as Companions.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Adaptability: Life is always shifting, I am always shifting. I was brought up in a working class, suburban family that valued predictability and stability and expected me to become someone they could understand and relate to and that person would then stay more or less the same. The problem with that plan is that I have an insatiable curiosity for what I can co-create with this life. I love living on the edge of my own understanding about this world and continuously pushing myself to further explore what it means to be alive in this body for whatever amount of time I’m given. I find that I get most frustrated when I’m in the land of “shoulds” especially if I’m telling myself I should stay in a situation I’m uncomfortable in or I shouldn’t move again because I’m in my 30’s or I should pick a lane and stay in it. I wish I had accepted that I am an ever-evolving, constantly-learning, forever-growing kind of person a lot earlier than I did. I would have leaned more on my adaptability and accepted that as my most precious skill. Knowing that I can adapt to whatever my circumstances or desires need from me gives me the strength to go after whatever it is that I most want.

Communication: It starts with communication with yourself. Can I be honest with myself? Can I be honest and direct with myself about my own needs? And then with other people: Can I communicate to the people around me what I need? Asking for help and support is such an underrated tool. Communicating our emotions is so difficult and navigating how and when to communicate them is one of my most valuable skills. Communicating boundaries! Communication is so wildly important. It might be my most important skill.

Inner Trust: The longest relationship in your life is with yourself. Invest in that relationship first and foremost. There is nothing that can replace the love you give to yourself– no relationship, no material item, no career milestone. You have to fall in love with yourself as soon as humanly possible because it will change everything– not your external world, necessarily, but your EXPERIENCE OF THIS LIFE. I needed to hear that a lot earlier in life.

As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?

Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler –

“All that you touch
You Change.
All that you Change
Changes you.
The only lasting truth
Is Change.
God
Is Change.”

All About Love by bell hooks –
“One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others.”

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.samhopwood.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/samwritesandpaints/
• Other: https://samhopwoodwrites.substack.com/

Image Credits

All photos by Sam Hopwood