Meet Samantha Cutler

We were lucky to catch up with Samantha Cutler recently and have shared our conversation below.

Samantha, we are so happy that our community is going to have a chance to learn more about you, your story and hopefully even take in some of the lessons you’ve learned along the way. Let’s start with self-care – what do you do for self-care and has it had any impact on your effectiveness?

Self care is an over used “it” phrase in our culture. Many people think it is just getting a pedicure or taking a bubble bath. While both of these can be part of a self-care ritual or routine in my experience, there’s so much more to it than that.

I grew up in what was called a dysfunctional family in the 80s and 90s, my father was an alcoholic. My parents fought all the time, and we did not have a lot money. When I was 13, both of my parents were diagnosed with cancer and on my seventh day of high school my father died. A few months after. my 18th birthday my mother died. During my high school years, I mostly took care of myself, my little sister, and often was the caretaking my mother as well.

Needless to say because of all of that I had a lot of trauma and CPTSD.

Because I was so “self-sufficient” in my Youth I thought I was “Fine” so I did not seek any therapy or other help for many years. I started using alcohol’ to cope and by the time I hit 28 I realized I was turning into my father and I got sober.

A few years before I hit bottom with my alcoholism, I started seeing a therapist at the suggestion of friends who were worried about me. She was able to help me crack the door open ever so slightly to seeing my own alcoholism and after I got sober, we started to do EMDR and brain spotting and inner child work to treat my trauma and CPTSD.

That is self care to me, doing the hard work of healing. Even if you don’t have as much trauma ext.. to me self care is doing whatever healing is needed to be present and awake in your life. Not doing it for just a few years or a few months but for the remainder of your life. What I need has changed over the years. I’ve used many different things it is not just the heavy lifting of therapy and a 12 step program, Its also yoga, meditation, creative outlets, like Improv, painting, and dance and so much more.

So self-care really comes down to loving yourself enough to heal, staying awake enough to continue that work and practicing what you learn through the years of your life.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

I told most of my story in the first question. But….

I spent a number of years maybe 20 Pursuing a career in the music industry. I learned a lot through that experience, and music, art and creativity, will always be a big part of my heart.

But now my main focus is primarily my coaching practice. Helping people let go of old stories, communicate effectively in all of their relationships, connect with themselves and the people they love, and become more present in their day-to-day life, is my favorite thing to do.

I will be releasing a podcast starting in the fall.

The best way to keep up with everything I’m doing is Instagram @samanthafrancess

To learn more about my coaching practice visit theestuary.org

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

I’m a firm believer that everybody’s journey is unique and special to them. I learned that most from some of the biggest mistakes that I made.

1. Create your own definition of success. Society and our culture at large will try to define it for you, but you have to define it for yourself!

2. Money is just an exchange of energy. It is not the marker of success. It is a tool, but it does not define your worth.

3. Listen to your inner knowings. Aka your gut! It will never mislead you if you listen. It may make sense to no one else in your life, but honor your own inner guides. You only have one life to live. Don’t live it based on someone else’s idea of who you should be!

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?

Pause, breathe,

Either put your feet in the grass, look at the sky, or if grass is not available open the window and take a deep breath of fresh air, or put your hand in water and envision yourself at the ocean or stream or lake, or hold onto a rock and imagine your self at the Highest peak of a mountain.

Then find one thing to be grateful for and to say it out loud or write it down.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: @samanthafrancess

Image Credits

Lindsey Gregory-Caldwell
Heather LeRoy