We recently connected with Samantha Villalobos and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Samantha, thank you so much for opening up with us about some important, but sometimes personal topics. One that really matters to us is overcoming Imposter Syndrome because we’ve seen how so many people are held back in life because of this and so we’d really appreciate hearing about how you overcame Imposter Syndrome.
I don’t know if I will ever be able to claim I’ve “overcome “ imposter syndrome fully. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. The best of us have self doubt at some point. The key is that in the end, you believe in yourself to move past it.
I’ve been working in mental heath for about 19 years and I still don’t really consider myself an “expert” because I feel that “experts” know everything about something and I’m still learning as I go. I think the willingness to continue learning is what makes us better at what we do.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
As I mentioned before, I’ve been in the mental health field for awhile, but currently, I provide mental health therapy as a private practice therapist. While I work with all ages and populations, my passion is in working with children, women and members of the LGBTQ+ community.
My approach is very person centered and strengths based. I try to meet my clients where they are at, without agenda, to support them in becoming as well as they can be.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
I think empathy, willingness to learn from unexpected sources and doing your own “work” are the things that have helped me be most successful in my field.
Empathy is key in developing a therapeutic rapport because that is what 99.9% of clients are looking for when they start therapy. Empathy puts yourself in someone else’s shoes and strives to understand. Empathy validates and reassures. As humans, we naturally crave connection, and empathy is key to doing that.
Willingness to learn from unexpected sources is in alignment with humility. I’ve learned some profound insights from my clients, including my littles (that’s what I call my child clients). I think listening with humility is how I’ve gleaned from all kinds of different sources to create my own wisdom, which I use to help others in their struggles.
“Doing the work” is therapeutic jargon for working on your own emotional and mental issues. Unfortunately, it’s very common for a mental health professional to have never done their own therapy or even be resistant to the idea of it. I think that addressing your own issues makes you a better person overall, but especially if you are in the mental health field. I’ve done years of personal therapy and I know with certainty that I’m a better therapist because of it. It’s provided me not only with better skills and boundaries in which to do my job, but it also provides me with better understanding and empathy of what it’s like to be on the other side. I believe that if I’m not willing to do the work, how can I ask my clients to do their own.
Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?
When I’m feeling overwhelmed, I start by reflecting on “what can I control right now?” I can control what I say, do and act. Then I break down the task or situation into little steps and try to refrain from thinking too far into the future. I also pray. My faith is very important to me.
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