Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Sandy Martinez Russell. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Sandy, we sincerely appreciate you joining us today and agreeing to talk about some very personal topics. So, to kick things off, let’s talk about a tough one – divorce. Can you talk to us about how you overcame divorce?
I was married at the age of 18, had my first child at 19, and my second at the age of 21. I was divorced by the age of 26. I didn’t get married just to get divorced, that was never in the plans. However, the more educated I became the more I realized that I was being controlled, and abused mentally, physically, and emotionally and had to make the ultimate sacrifice of being a single mom. It took several years to build up the courage to leave but when I did I handed a ten-page letter to my then-husband. I overcame divorce by being resilient, discovering who I am, finding my voice, finding purpose, building friendships, and being the best version of myself every day. Divorce, undoubtedly one of life’s most challenging and painful experiences, can leave individuals feeling lost, voiceless, and devoid of purpose. It is a grieving process because your old life dies along with everything you had imagined and hoped for. However, it is through resilience and introspection that you can begin the journey towards overcoming the aftermath of divorce. Resiliency to me meant not ever giving up and whatever challenges came my way I would always have one option and that option was to survive no matter what. If it meant going without much food, working multiple jobs, being strong, getting educated, and relying on my faith then I knew that the force within me would not let me fail. The GRIT I chose to have is what made me stronger each and every day. Overcoming a divorce was a process for me and it didn’t happen overnight. I had to discover who I was, what I liked, what I didn’t like, and find hobbies. I truly didn’t know who I was besides being a student and mother I had no idea who I was. You lose yourself when you are in an abusive relationship so self-discovery had to happen for me. The marriage counseling that we went to turned into just pure counseling it was then that I was asked the questions and I remember leaving the session tearing up because I had no idea who I was. Having been on my own since the age of 16 I had to grow up fast. I had to enjoy my own company by going to eat by myself, going to the movies alone, trying out different hobbies, etc.. It was the beginning of my journey of learning who I was on the inside. During this time I also had to permit myself to grieve because it was a whirlwind of emotions and I had to remind myself I made the right decision. Finding my voice after the divorce was a transformative process that required a lot of self-reflection and introspection. Divorce had me feeling silenced and unheard, but by acknowledging this and rediscovering who I was, it was then that I began to have a voice. I verbalized my values, and my thoughts, and aspired to find my purpose. I started to build friendships and trust others by expressing my feelings. I thank my friends for helping me carry that load when I felt alone, overwhelmed, tired, and depressed but also for being there for my accomplishments. Once I had resilience, a voice, discovering who I am and friends then came purpose. It was then that I started to volunteer in my community. I started with leading small group bible study then started feeding the homeless which led to serving on Boards and becoming an advocate. I was Me! After all those years I was finally able to pursue my path in confidence. I overcame divorce by becoming the best version of myself each and every day. It was all the small moments, the baby steps, the work I invested in myself that produced this woman, this leader, this advocate for my children and community.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
I am a first-generation college graduate. I am a Bilingual Educator. I am a lifelong learner. I have been in the Education field for over 22 years. I currently serve as a Bilingual Executive Literacy Coach and have the privilege of working with students, teachers, and administrators across the country. I have a passion for literacy and feel that if you know how to read then you can do every other subject. Reading unlocks another world that you can escape to. What excites me most about my job is that I get to empower the teachers with the tools to best help students learn how to read. Overall, I enjoy hearing students read and see the excitement when they hear their strengths and move up levels. I love helping others whether it is through my job or volunteer work I know that I am filling my bucket and making a difference in our future.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
What impacted my journey was having the motivation to be the greatest mom by working on myself and providing the best for my two children. Self-discovery was powerful because it gave me a voice and purpose. Lastly, give yourself the grace to go through the process. The advice I have for those early in their journey is that this is a “process not an event” so let yourself grieve as you venture into your new life. Allow all the pieces to fall into place and be resilient.
Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?
The book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho played an important role in my development. This is a book that I had to re read years after I first read it because at first I felt lost and didn’t think I truly understood it. The second time I read the book I realized what it was about and how full of wisdom it was. This book helped me learn to follow my dreams regardless of what obstacles may come my way. It was an affirmation of faith. Overall, it reminds me that what is meant to be will be.
Contact Info:
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sandy.martinez.142/
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sandy-martinez-3826842b3/
Image Credits
Sandy Martinez Russell
