We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Sarah Desjarlais a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Sarah, so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?
I had been a foster parent for several years already when I found myself in a child welfare office for a meeting. A group of community members were putting together baskets full of first-apartment essentials and planning a graduation party for the handful of foster teens graduating high school that spring. As we wound our way through nondescript cubicles past social workers with varying degrees of defeat on their faces, we arrived in what we thought was our conference room. It was already occupied, so our guide quickly turned us around to find another meeting room. I poked my head in to find a 10 year old boy slumped down in a big office chair. His social worker had bought a happy meal, but he wasn’t interested in eating. He had been given a small box of toys and activities, but it wasn’t doing the trick either.
This boy had been removed from his home that morning. I don’t know what the circumstances were, but when CPS is involved, it’s either child abuse, neglect or both. His social worker was just outside the door working the phones trying to find a foster home or relative who could take him. No one wanted him. He was alone in every sense of the word.
It was easy to picture my kids in his place. We got them when they were babies, but even as infants they had experienced rejection and loss. My son (now adopted) had spent the night in a women’s shelter because the NICU wouldn’t keep him any longer, and the state hadn’t yet found a placement.
I peeked back into the dimly lit state conference room, observed the trauma of removal taking hold of this little boy’s mind and body, and made the decision that this would never happen again on my watch. That was nearly 12 years ago.
In the months that followed this encounter, I gained inroads with the staff at the child welfare office and proposed an idea that would mobilize volunteers to go sit with kids like this – kids who had just been removed and were waiting in limbo. The social workers loved the idea. With a handful of volunteers, a zero dollar budget, a background check and a quick training, we began a movement within the child welfare system that quickly spread throughout the Northwest.
Within 3 years, I was overseeing 18 satellite programs, all volunteer run, and helping hundreds of children transition into foster care a little more gently. I was raising 5 children under the age of 8, while continuing to do respite and emergency foster care. In 2017 we gained nonprofit status, and by 2018 we had developed a custom app that streamlined the way we deployed volunteers. In 2019 we had 27 locations serving Washington and Idaho, with partner orgs serving similarly in Oregon. The idea had taken off like wildfire. We had created a way for regular people to serve the foster care community in truly meaningful ways without become a full-fledged foster parent. Where child welfare had operated in a silo with very little accountability to the public, we found a way to bring the community to the front door of foster care.
Growing up I always thought my purpose would be in Mothering, but when I found myself sitting in an infertility clinic, my idea of Mothering changed. That’s when we turned to foster care and adoption to grow our family. I have never possessed the ability to be silent in the face of injustice, and the world of child welfare is fraught with injustice. Purpose found me when I witnessed this one little boy’s pain, and knew I could do something to help all the others who would follow.
In the post-pandemic landscape of child welfare, we made the difficult choice to close our satellite locations and focus on serving Southwest Washington’s 400+ children and families experiencing foster care. We wanted to serve more deeply and maintain long term relationships with youth in order to further improve their outcomes. I can tell you it’s working. We hear daily from caregivers and youth how much our programs are helping them heal and navigate the child welfare system. Affirmation from our clients renews my purpose and keeps me moving forward.
Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?
As founder and Executive Director of Fosterful, a nonprofit serving kids and families experiencing foster care in Southwest Washington, I am constantly trying to see around corners. What began as a grassroots movement, has grown into a multi-million dollar force for good. My days are full of managing 36 staff who are helping hundreds of youth navigate the System, improve their outcomes, and end the cycle of dependency. Our goal is to reduce trauma, reinforce family supports, and truly walk alongside families utilizing both paid staff and volunteers. We are passionate about folding in community members to increase our impact and change the narrative on foster care. Fosterful got its name because we are Mindful, Thoughtful, and Hopeful that we can effect positive change in the child welfare system.
Most recently, Fosterful has launched the Caregiver Support Project, a comprehensive support system for licensed foster and relative caregivers. It provides thoughtful case management and concierge support to caregivers having difficulty navigating the System, Behavioral Case Aides and much-needed transportation to any child that wants it, a 24/7 crisis hotline and more.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
1. Grit 2. Curiosity
3. Asking for help
Maintain a soft heart to the signs and signals around you, but keep pushing for what you know is right. Surround yourself with wise and skilled people who can fill gaps that don’t come naturally to you. It takes a village to truly effect change.
As we end our chat, is there a book you can leave people with that’s been meaningful to you and your development?
David and Goliath, by Malcom Gladwell, was published the year I met that first little boy in the child welfare office. I loved this new take on an ancient story that had frankly never made sense to me. The book gave me permission to own my underdog story, and believe that with my three little stones I could actually take on the giant called Foster Care. I had to be smart, of course, but I didn’t need a fancy degree. I was to be the movement’s front runner, but I was by no means doing this work alone – I had an army of volunteers behind me. I was an insignificant player in the foster care system, with a very particular set of talents.
I relate so strongly to Malcom Gladwell’s take on David’s story, that I could see myself at the end of it, too. Failure has never been an option.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.fosterful.org
- Instagram: @wearefosterful
- Facebook: @fosterful
Image Credits
Photography by Luke and Mallory
