Meet Sarah Downing

 

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Sarah Downing. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Sarah below.

Hi Sarah, you’ve got such an interesting story, but before we jump into that, let’s first talk about a topic near and dear to us – generosity. We think success, happiness and wellbeing depends on authentic generosity and empathy and so we’d love to hear about how you become such a generous person – where do you think your generosity comes from?

I once had a dear teacher, Hugh Gilbert, who advised us to “be the change you wish to see in the world”, which is apparently a paraphrasing of a Mahatma Gandhi quote. Hugh has since passed on, but I still strive to become an embodiment of that lesson. It seems so simple, yet at times it can be so difficult to implement. It makes you examine your motives and the implications of your actions, something I wish more people would do. I would like to move through the world with integrity and meaningful contributions. Those who know me know I have a big heart, but where does that come from? It comes from all those times that others have inspired me with their generosity and kindness. Often, if I am in a position to help someone, I don’t even question whether I should or not. I think that kindness is always the best option. That said, I have recently come to realize that big-hearted people such as myself sometimes have a tendency to overgive – and often to the wrong people. Sometimes, we even give so much that we end up as empty vessels, unable to even give to ourselves anymore. Consequently, I think that you also have to be discerning with your generosity because there are times when by being generous you are actually acting as an enabler and taking away someone’s opportunity to learn and grow and stand on their own two feet. As a result, I am no longer as willing to help people who refuse to help themselves. I will hold space for them and strive to create an atmosphere where they are able to help themselves, but there are limits to that too. When we help ourselves, we are also helping those around us. I see giving as a cycle – paying it forward if you will. Often, we give to others without expectations of reciprocity, and down the line we are serendipitously offered help when we ourselves are in need, sometimes from an unexpected source. I’m always grateful for the help I receive, and I give back by giving to others. I have often helped strangers, and simply told them to “pay it forward”, and when others help me I have promised them to do the same. I’m happy to say that I have kept my promise. Ultimately, I feel that there are not enough kind people in the world, but I think that we can proliferate kindness by giving kindness and inspiring others to do the same.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I’m extremely excited to announce that I have recently moved to Brookhaven, GA, which is part of metro Atlanta. I will be opening my business to new clients there in June. Even as a young child, I loved to stand out from the crowd, and it’s no different with my massage business. I practice integrative massage, which means I charge by time instead of by modality. I believe in giving my clients full access to all of my modalities without any upcharges. This enables me to customize each session to each individual client because I am able to integrate all of my unique tools. My clients love that I give “the type of massage they’ve never had elsewhere.” I’ve learned some truly useful and effective skills from some amazing practitioners, including Thai massage (I even studied in Thailand), cupping, scar massage, sports massage and more. My deep tissue massage can be deeper than deep for clients who want that, but I can also slow it right down and more gradually work my way into the tissues for those whose bodies take longer to relax. I believe that my clients are the experts in their own bodies, and healing is a collaboration. Consequently, one of the first things I will encourage each client to do with me is to feel safe to communicate their wants and needs at any time before, during or after the session. I know what it is like to work with practitioners with whom open communication doesn’t feel safe, and I don’t ever want any of my clients to experience this with me.

Furthermore, I strive to empower my clients by teaching them skills they can use at home. One recent example is a client who had a hard time relaxing, and was resistant to trying stretching because there was “no guarantee it would work, and anyway how long would it even take to work?” I was gradually able to convince her of its efficacy by demonstrating some stretches that would help her particular issues, and explaining how stretching has helped me. She now asks me how to do certain stretches, and her mind-body connection has improved dramatically, a skill that will stand her in good stead for the rest of her life. I’m so proud of her for being open to trying something new, and finding out how effective it is after all. We are all teachers. In turn, my client taught me that sometimes you have to take it slowly with certain clients, and respect that they need to take things at their own pace – you can tell a client that something will help them, but for it to be a habit they want to consistently practice they really need to experience its efficacy for themselves – and that’s not always on the practitioner’s timeline.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

1. Always keep an open mind and practice detachment from the outcome: sometimes, we become so fixated on wanting to control everything that we miss opportunities and alternative (and sometimes easier) routes to achieve something. And sometimes the originally projected outcome isn’t for the highest good of ourselves and those around us. Be flexible and open to taking an alternative route. How do you do this? Keep your eyes open and maintain an attitude of healthy curiosity. Watch and learn from others, but above all continuously check in with yourself about how you are feeling about a situation or goal, and whether this is something that still sparks your passion or resonates with you.
2. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, and delegate when it makes sense. As a hyperindependent entrepreneur, I have learned a multitude of skills over the years. Unfortunately, I have also learned that those I rely on sometimes disappoint me, which has led me to cultivate the attitude, “if I want it done properly, I had better do it myself.” However, I’ve also come to realize that I can’t and shouldn’t do everything myself because this can lead to inefficient use of my time and, ultimately, burnout. In fact, people are often happy to help because it makes them feel useful and empowered. There are times when a skill is just not something I enjoy, am efficient at or particularly interested in cultivating, and it is those times when I find it best to delegate or outsource these tasks – for me this includes things like SEO for my website, cleaning my office or graphic design. My time is best spent focusing on what I excel in. At times, because of some disappointing past experiences, I struggle to trust others to do things properly. However, I then have to remind myself to give each individual a chance, properly communicate my expectations from the outset and not to project my past experiences with completely different people on to them. That said, whenever possible, I also delegate to people I either know well or those who have been personally recommended to me.
3. Give yourself grace. Things don’t always go according to plan, other people won’t always understand, but you are your own best advocate. Only you truly know who you are. Beating yourself up isn’t productive. That said, admitting when you’ve made a mistake, and considering how to best fix it or change course is productive. See each challenge as an opportunity to learn, and you will learn. Consequently, moving forward, when you are presented with a similar challenge, this will seem a lot less daunting because it’s no longer so unfamiliar.

What has been your biggest area of growth or improvement in the past 12 months?

This is quite timely because I found out this week that I have lost 31 pounds since June 2023. I rarely weigh myself because I go by how I feel rather than the number on the scale, but I weighed myself last June and again this week at a friend’s house. I was dumbfounded because, whilst I knew I had dropped weight, I didn’t realize just how much I had lost! The story behind this is that I’ve recently been transitioning into perimenopause, which tends to be metabolically challenging for many women who often pile on the pounds because of their body’s decline in hormones. With a background as a patient advocate and medical blogger, I’m happy to say that I recognized in a timely manner what was going on with my body. As a result, I consulted with a friend, integrative nurse practitioner and OB-GYN, GeorgAnna Wiley, who practices medicine in Savannah, GA, with her business rebirth. GeorgAnna subsequently recommended blood tests, so we could assess what needed to be done.

I’ve been on micronized (bioidentical) progesterone pills since March 2023, and it’s been such a game-changer. I’m happy to say that, these days, more accurate and helpful information is being disseminated about HRT for (peri-)menopause, so more women now have access to help manage this transition. Sadly, however, there are still many women who I think suffer in silence or whose doctors refuse to help them. I really am one of the lucky ones. I will say that balancing my hormones has been HUGE in balancing my weight and overall health.

But, quite honestly, I’m proud to say that I’ve implemented a combination of measures: daily walking goals of 7500+ steps, audio journaling, especially when stressed or overwhelmed (journaling is great, but I personally find it easier to record my trains of thought instead of writing them down with a pen), cutting emotional vampires out of my life and being way more selective about the people I surround myself with. Stress plays a huge role in weight gain because it leads to a surge in cortisol levels, which wrack the body with inflammation. So, practicing effective stress management is crucial for your health and wellbeing.

The other thing I have implemented is more mindful eating. In the past, I thought that I should be eating several times a day, whether or not I was hungry. Like many people, for me eating also has an emotional component – sometimes, I’m not hungry, but something just looks so delicious that I want to try it. I don’t believe that I was overeating, but simply switching to eating only when I’m hungry, which in my case is usually “one meal a day” along with intermittent fasting, just feels healthier and more satisfying for my body.

Ultimately, I am incredibly proud of myself for not only getting through what has been one of the most stressful and heartbreaking years of my life, but overcoming health challenges and thriving at the end of it all. I don’t feel like I had to deprive myself to reach my goals. I have always felt that it is way healthier, more satisfying and more sustainable to simply implement new habits.

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Anne Vogt Photography
Orion Pace

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