Meet Sarah Hollins

We recently connected with Sarah Hollins and have shared our conversation below.

Sarah, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?

I think I was born with it but my childhood definitely shaped it. My father lost custody of me due to his alcohol and cocaine addictions when I was just a baby, so my mom moved in with my grandparents and I lived with them until she remarried my step-dad when I was around 4 or 5 years old. I actually share this with my grandfather (my pop-pop as we say in NJ). He was a farmer whose mother died when he was very young and, when his father remarried, his step-mother forced his father to disown him and his grandparents raised him for the rest of his life. This set him up to eventually own the family farm land and led him down a path of hard work and resilience. (He got so sick in middle school that he missed too much school and never graduated past the eighth grade). The combination of his influence as well as a myriad of difficult moments in my childhood (sexual abuse, physical abuse, psychological and emotional abuse) that I experienced definitely formed a toughness in me that has propelled me through life. While it has definitely programmed me to a default of self reliance, independence, and typical unshakability, I am trying to learn how to be soft, how to ask for help, and work on forging new neural pathways when my coping skills that led to resilience presently get in the way of vulnerability, connection, and being in touch with my emotions. Sometimes those things can be the price you pay for “resilience.” I think resilience is always the goal and we should all strive to keep getting back up after we fail or are knocked down, but I do caution it as a state of being that can become a weakness if taken too far/utilized in spite of taking care of yourself and acknowledging when you need help and support.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

By day, I’m a librarian, and by night I’m an indie rocker. I grew up singing music in church, school, and state choirs and began playing and touring in a pop-punk band when I was in high school and early college. I moved to Los Angeles at 20, finished my undergraduate degree (in English), and then worked at the music career life by cutting my teeth in the independent LA music scene. I recorded an EP at Capitol Studios, played main stage at the BottleRock Festival, and I frequently perform at Hotel Cafe in Hollywood.

I’m currently working on new music with my next single, Good Girl, dropping August 23rd. The song is about the people pleasing that girls are taught to perform in exchange for their hopes, dreams, desires, and momentum in life. It also touches on the slippery slope of astrology becoming a new dogma in America. The music video was shot in Riverside, CA, where I went to undergrad and found a community of friends and belonging when I first moved to Los Angeles. We made it on a small budget thanks to a lot of wonderful support and killer cast and crew members. It encapsulates the feeling of female friendship, 2000s skater culture nostalgia (with a feminine twist), and the feeling of being in and exploring southern California.

In my work outside of music, I volunteer at a public library and help people learn how to use technology and do my best to teach people about information literacy and why the library rocks! (Hello, free e-books, audio books, and central air???). I also support BLM organizations and do my best to do the work to be a worthy ally in life and in spirit, not just in thoughts and prayers.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

I think that some of the things that were most impactful on my journey were flexibility and pivoting, an ability to fail and keep going, and a desire to learn. I worked so many day jobs that were soul crushing and were not moving me forward in life. Picking up the pieces from those, pivoting and applying to new things, and pivoting and going back to graduate school all propelled me forward even when they felt like impediments or side paths. I think that investing in yourself will aways pan out for you, even if it doesn’t look like the immediate solution or it isn’t aligned with a specific creative goal or endeavor. Taking care of your brain and investing in it and yourself will always lead you somewhere more positive, I promise. I also think that you have to get good at failing. I have failed so many freakin times in my life. I think I’ve basically failed since elementary school. I failed at learning the pulley system in third grade, I failed in so many bands I tried to start, failed at the ones I did, failed at singles and EPs and album releases, failed at shows where no one came to see me, failed at short story submissions that never got published…the list is endless. I think the secret is that it’s okay to quietly quit and lick your wounds as long as you try again or pivot and make something new or new of yourself. I have truly learned more from failure than from any of my wins and successes. I also believe that a desire to learn and continue to grow has helped me immensely. I wanted to learn about information literacy and equity and how I could help, so I got a graduate degree in Library and Information Science. I wanted to learn about psychology and sociology, so I started researching, reading academic journals, meeting and speaking with neuroscientists, and writing my own theories. I wanted to learn about my trauma, so I started to learn about the psychology and science of it and learn and unlearn things to start to heal. I always want to learn from other musicians on how to perform better, how to play my instrument better, how they approach songwriting, and how they work in the studio. I love learning about new things like photography and videography. I love messing around with cameras and trying to make things by myself. Even if you suck, the act of learning is so fun because it routes new pathways in your brain which ultimately leads to healing and growth!

My advice for people who are early in their journey, whatever it is, is to seek out support and advice from those you trust (but always listen to yourself), fail and fail and fail again, and invest in learning about the world around you and yourself. It’s scary to look at yourself and your pain and shortcomings directly, but it will only help you in the long run. It will only help you grow and become a stronger, more fully realized version of yourself. The opposite of moving is staying stuck and the opposite of growth is stagnancy. The opposite of maturing and growing older and wiser is dying young. I don’t know about you, but none of those things sound appealing to me.

Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?

I haven’t read it in a long time, but Tuesdays with Morrie greatly impacted me when I first read it as a young teenager. As someone who was raised conservatively Christian, Morrie’s idea of combining and utilizing wisdom from all religions was earth shattering. I also was greatly inspired by his resilience, dignity, and composure in the face of illness. I’ve suffered from illness and autoimmune issues since I hit puberty and have spent most of my life in and out of doctors’ and specialists’ offices with little answers to why I was sick. I think the book gave me a source of comfort in how it portrayed a sick and eventually dying man at an age where I didn’t have the words to explain how I felt about my own health issues to express to others or even to myself. I also loved that the book highlighted the beauty of friendships from different backgrounds and ages. I was often someone who was friends with people who were older than me. I spent my childhood camping with my grandparents and their older friends, playing dominoes and Rummy with senior citizens as an eight year old. I have almost always felt the most seen and comfortable in spaces such as those or in spaces where I am not the default person or demographic. I was really moved by Morrie’s story and it greatly inspired me to challenge my beliefs, my worldview (at a young age), and to obtain as much dignity as possible throughout my own journey with disability.

Contact Info:

Image Credits

Image credits:

Professional photos (not live and onstage): Stephanie Saias

Onstage photos: Me with guitar: Justin Higuchi, Me in Outkast shirt with microphone: Justin Higuchi, Me in choir robe: Maryna Bodgan

Volunteer photos: Me in bucket hat with notebooks and Me in mask with brown bags: The Valley of Change (Latora Green)

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