We were lucky to catch up with Sebastian Hernandez recently and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Sebastian, really appreciate you joining us to talk about a really relevant, albeit unfortunate topic – layoffs and getting fired. Can you talk to us about your experience and how you overcame being let go?
About two years ago I got fired from a job. It was my second professional graphic design job ever, and It was the first time I had gotten fired from any job. This was a severe gut punch, but mostly to my ego. Prior to this, I had taken the leap to quit a well paying job in retail in order to pursue a career in graphic design. Imagine leaving a stable and comfortable situation, putting yourself out there, and then failing right out of the gate. Not a great feeling. I had no job. I started to question my work ethic, my priorities, and my self esteem.
After some consolation and support from friends and family, I was able to gather myself and brush it off. I had gotten fired in June, my birthday month, so I decided to take the rest of summer off and to try and not let this set back take me over. I planned a few road trips and did a whole lot of camping. After about two months, I began to put myself back out there and sent out applications to any design job that I could find. I felt a renewed sense of self awareness, confidence and a check to my ego. I was able to acknowledge my role in why I had gotten fired, and simply had to learn from it. Months had started to pass, and, nothing. Any job I applied to had about 60 other people in line for the same job. Graphic design was saturated with applicants whom all probably paid a lot of money for a shiny degree (including myself) in order to work in the industry. I had a few interviews and promising leads, but in the end, nothing.
Months are going by quick, this was getting real. I had been putting my best foot forward and genuine effort. Nothing. I sank back into myself. I had only made it two years in graphic design and that was it. I would have to go back to retail, at least until something else picks up. So I did just that. I will say, that decision in itself took a lot of courage. I was not admitting defeat, but rather putting perspective on the situation. I need a job, I’m good at retail, design is competitive, I need to pay rent. Now I wish this was the end of the story. That I gave it the good ol’ college try and didn’t get lost in self pity, but no. I was miserable. I felt even more lost. I would go to work, and every task felt so beneath me. There was a residue of resentment slowly building each time that I had to clock in. I lived alone for the first time in my life, my apartment was quite, there were no distractions. All of my insecurities echoed in my tiny quiet apartment. I literally felt stuck in a box.
Around this time I had been reading a book called “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson. I had also been doing a lot of shadow work in order to unravel my “Anxious attachment style” which was severely impacting my confidence. On my lunch breaks I would just sit in my car and read this book. On my ten minute breaks I would sit in my car and read this book. Instead of turning on the Playstation, I would read this book. And yes, it helped, A LOT. This, along with navigating my anxious attachment, helped pin point the various cycles that I was stuck in. Whatever walls I was putting up, I was beginning to see over them. It’s as if at first a window appeared and I could see what was on the other side of that wall. Then over time a door appeared. Then the door unlocked. Then I was ready to open it. I’ve only recently begun to step through. Metaphors aside, I realized that I was making my job my identity. I felt a pressure to become a graphic designer because that would define and validate me as an artist and creative. Working back in retail meant I was nothing more than I had ever been. That I would remain stagnant, I was not pursuing a life outside of work. I have always been social, I have plenty of friends, and I remain active, but I never attached an identity to my true self outside of my occupation. So I began to change that.
The first step was to write down all of the goals and adventures that I wanted to complete. The big bucket list items that would really take some effort and conviction. There was nothing stopping me from pursuing these goals, I simply had to remind myself that they existed, to acknowledge them and to start following through with them. I began to get excited about the planning process. Planning the trip, researching the information, and having a goal that my paycheck would help fulfill. This new perspective on my job as a means to my goals helped to wash away the resentment that was building up. Not being a professional graphic designer had no bearing on my actual creativity and talent. It had no bearing on my character as a person or my values. To allow validation for not having a career that I have a degree in; this was the hardest thing to navigate.
I ultimately left the retail job because it still wasn’t for me. Currently I find myself doing part time graphic design and contract Illustration/design work. I even took on substitute teaching to see how that shoe fit. With so much down time in between jobs, I’ve had to keep disciplined on how to best make use of this time. Self doubt starts to creep back in when the mind is idle. The uncertainty of where the next paycheck will come from is a new situation I’ve had to navigate. This time, however, I have a new found drive and sense of self. Over the years I’ve culminated several stories in the back of my mind that I would like to tell someday. Graphic novels that might turn into something more. Well, NOW is the time. I asked myself, if I had won the lottery, and didn’t have to worry about finances, how would I be spending this time? This is the perspective that I adopted, so, yet again, I set to unravel my goals. Not my travel and vacation goals, but the goals of myself as an artist, as a creative, and a storyteller. With that, I have currently begun fleshing out my first story “Who Killed the Rabbit King?”. Spending my time learning about writing techniques and story arcs, and character building, and world building and the technical side of storytelling.
With this time I have also begun to research online sales an marketing strategies. I have since opened up an online storefront on my website DaftLogicX.com where I sell my designs on T-shirts and hoodies. I have also published a coloring book called “Cross Stitch Critters”, available now on Amazon, and am currently writing and illustrating a children’s book. Having worked with kids while substituting was the final ember in the fire that has inspired me to begin my publishing journey. My goal is to start small with the coloring book series, then the children’s book series, then continue my path towards my graphic novels.
To circle back to the interview question. Getting fired at the time that I did ultimately brought me around to my self discovery journey. This in hand helped me define what true fulfillment looks like to me as a person. Most importantly, if there is a takeaway for anyone out there, it is to be mindful of your circumstance and take every opportunity to learn and grow from it. You will get lost in the fog if you allow it to gather.
Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?
I am a product of pop culture and cartoons through and through. It all started with dinosaurs and Godzilla. Ever since I can remember, I have been drawing, recreating my favorite cartoon and movie characters. Dinosaurs, Godzilla, Ghostbusters, Ninja Turtles, California Raisins (who even remembers those guys?) I have always had a big imagination. I can only assume that’s where it all started. In a “fantasy world” creating my own version of the thing that I saw on T.V. or whatever had my attention that day. I loved playing with action figures too. As a kid, I would imagine the cool dragon that my toys were fighting, and then I would draw what I saw in my head, terribly, of course. I’m sure no one else had any idea what I was drawing. “Look mom! Do you like it?” “Oh sure son, that’s a really neat thing you made there!”. She had no idea that the dragon had a lazer that came out of its back and that it could totally blow up any mountain on the planet…
My talent for drawing kept growing as did my imagination. I would immediately become obsessed with a character. I gotta have the toy, and then be the same thing for Halloween, then draw it in cool poses, probably fighting Godzilla. It wasn’t until high school that I would start to truly develop my personality. I would discover that I have a sarcastic and cheeky sense of humor. I enjoyed juxtaposing subject matter like a cute fluffy bunny rabbit hiding a knife behind its back. Yep. Something about subverting expectations really fueled my creativity. I wouldn’t say I was the class clown or anything because I was never so extraverted in school. But I was definitely the funny one of the group. But, ha ha funny, not weird funny… I hope. As I began to explore the world of art, comics and anime I would come across a comic called “Spawn”. It was dark and gritty and sexy and bloody. I was hooked. Todd McFarlane, the creator and illustrator of Spawn, had a very distinct, scratchy pen style that I loved. Everything that I drew in high school had echoes of Todd’s style in it, even the cute stuff. This lose sketch style of art was perfect for blending my cheeky side with my otherwise morbid side.
At some point during my high school years I had the notion of how cool it would be to make some of my characters animate and come to life. That thought was fleeting, but it would stay in the back of my mind for years to come. In college I would ultimately explore all the facets of traditional art such as painting, charcoal, pastel, inking, sculpting, etc. All of it was fun and had its place, but none of it captured me. My imagination and creativity was still my biggest strength. My witty and cheeky sense of humor had also remained unmatched! For a while I struggled in deciding which avenue to explore regarding a college degree and a career. Then the band Gorillaz came out with their album Demon Days. This was a turning point.
I was actually not too familiar with Gorillaz even though they had released an album a few years prior. However, this album, this album fit me perfectly. It had gorgeous visuals with whimsical and melancholy music. This entire album matched my adolescent angsty demeanor. Every music video and promotional animation was stunning, and the art style of Jamie Hewlett was an inspired mirror of my own style. As with everything else when I was younger, I dove in completely. I found all of the behind the scenes videos, making of documentaries, of both Damon Albarn (lead vocals) and Jamie Hewlett (illustrator/cartoonist) anything that would expand the lore of the stylings of these two creators, I was in it. There may or may not have been some psychedelics involved in my new found admiration. Discovering this band helped steer my direction and focus towards an art degree. I then discovered the world of VFX. Visual Effects & Motion Graphics. This is what comprised everything that Gorillaz were doing. Mixing classic 2D animation with 3D backdrops and sometimes composited over real world footage. All of this was VFX. So I took that path. I went to the Art Institute of Colorado and got my Bachelors degree in VFX.
As of today I find myself melding most with the world of graphic design and illustration and have begun dipping my toe into character animation. In this I have created a brand I call Daft Logic. This is the artist moniker that I have adopted to represent who I am as an artist and how I perceive the world that I live in. True to my nature, Daft Logic is a juxtaposition in itself. Daft, by definition, is to be foolish, silly, or illogical. Logic, is reason or rationality. You can find me on instagram @DaftLogic, and my website at DaftLogicX.com. Here you can find my work portfolio, photography portfolio, my illustrations, and my online shop where I sell T-shirts and Hoodies of my designs. Recently I had spent some time as a substitute teacher and discovered an affinity for nourishing and encouraging creativity in young minds. This experience has inspired me to create a more family friendly brand called Fuzzy Monster. Here I am developing a collection of gifts and stationary (stickers, notebooks, coloring books etc) geared towards children and teachers. I have recently published a coloring book under Fuzzy Monster called “Cross Stitch Critters” which is available for purchase online at Amazon. You can find the link on my instagram @FuzzyMonsterCo.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Patience, self awareness and a growth mindset. Internal reflection, accountability, and a true desire to find the root of the issues of why you are stuck. For me this was easier because I’ve always had a fascination with psychology. Researching the ins and outs of trauma or causation is interesting to me. You have to be determined in order to create this change. To allow an awareness and openness to a growth mindset. I know, this sounds very “spiritual, vibes, and manifestation” but those are just buzz words. My buzz words are accountability, knowledge, and a desire to change. To have the hard conversations with yourself and understanding what needs to change, that there needs to be a change.
A song lyric that has always resonated with me is “Crises precipitates change” (Deltron 3030). Without having experienced crises of my own, I would not have had the initiative to change, to grow. It was necessary. Another lyric that stands out to me is “If you’re bored than you’re boring” (Harvey Danger). When I find myself bored and unmotivated I stop and think, what goals am I not fulfilling right now? I have plenty of goals and projects that I would love to accomplish, weather for art or for fun, so logistically I shouldn’t have time to be bored.
Patience. I have always been patient with others, but not with myself. I want instant results, I want that dopamine hit of “good job, well done!”. If I can’t get it done in a day then I lose steam and motivation. Thus, I would only set myself up for art projects or tasks that can get done in one sitting, however, there is no growth, no challenge in these tasks.
Trust. Trust that having the patience to produce slowly, will translate into quality. Seeing the end result of quality is a rewarding feeling in of itself. The dopamine hit that I am looking for. However, shifting perspective on the process has helped a lot too. Perceiving the act of creating, the act of doing, to be fulfilling. The process needs to be fulfilling or else we’re only working for the end result, the dopamine hit as the reward. But the whole process needs to be the dopamine hit. It’s a slow drip rather than a spike. If you can recalibrate to that, then you will find yourself much more consistent. Something that I am still working on.
Accountability. I think this is the most important aspect of growth. No one wants to be called out, or feel uncomfortable. But if it’s from your own awareness, then it should be seen as a good thing, a sign of strength. Admitting your weakness is strength. It’s courage. Nothing will break down the walls if you don’t take accountability. And you don’t have to put this on blast, you don’t have to share this with anyone. You don’t have to post this to social media in order for growth to happen. The strength lies in silence. You absolutely can express this and talk about it, but it’s not necessary to see progress. Once you become open to change, then the resources become more available. It’s like buying a new car. After you buy the car you start to see that same car everywhere. Same thing. It’s always been in front of you, but now that your awareness is peaked it becomes easier to spot. Not to mention the algorithm, lol. Click on one self help link on instagram and now you’re flooded with them, but in this case is a good thing.
We’ve all got limited resources, time, energy, focus etc – so if you had to choose between going all in on your strengths or working on areas where you aren’t as strong, what would you choose?
This question is rather nuanced, and you have to think of the direction that this will take you. Are you looking to challenge yourself? Or establish yourself? At this point in time I would consider myself to be more of a Jack of all trades, but master of none. Lately, however, I feel the need to draw my focus in and not spread myself too thin. I found myself in a position where I needed to start making some decisions. Looking at the job market, there is still a desire for video and motion graphics (VFX) which is my field of study from art school, here I thought “let’s focus on rebuilding my skillset from years back in school”, and, I know, shame on me for not keeping up with VFX after graduation, but life happens.
I needed to pick a focus. VFX is a lot to jump back into and keep up with. I would need to commit my time to diving in head first and re-learn After Effects. Eat sleep and breath After Effects. OR, I need to focus on videography and all of the new features in video editing software and cameras. Eat sleep and breath videography. OR, I need to focus on my illustrations, learning how to draw more difficult subject matter and character creation. I also have a few graphic novels sitting on the back burner. So what do I do?
In this regard I have found myself leaning into drawing and illustrating. Deciding to focus on my strength as an artist above all. For example, the coloring book that I published started off as just something fun to work on. Me wanting to see these characters in a tactile cover to cover thing that I can hold. By happenstance I’ve received a lot of good feedback too. This has led me in the direction of creating and designing a brand in order to market these books. In my mind I can see a whole catalogue of gifts and stationary utilizing my illustrations. My creativity and talent for drawing are my greatest strengths and I need to embrace this and just go all in. This is the pull. I am following the pull. I love all of the aspects of graphic design and VFX, but my attention would be divided. For me that world has to take a backseat as just a hobby, for now at least.
Currently I have been dedicating my time towards illustration, story writing, and marketing. I have never taken the initiative to go full throttle in promoting my art before, but I finally have a clear goal to visualize. I need to allow myself to nurture my illustration skills and no longer keep them on the back burner. I would already consider myself to be well rounded in photography, graphic design, videography, and illustration, but not having a mastery in any of them doesn’t sit right. When I stop to think about this, the title of author/ illustrator gives me the most fulfillment. That has become my focus. The brand that I am working on is called Fuzzy Monster. With Fuzzy Monster I hope to feed creativity and offer a reset from daily stress, technology and overstimulation. My first book under the Fuzzy Monster brand is called “Cross Stitch Critters” a collection of fun cheeky characters to color. I want to encourage a disconnect from technology by turning off your phone or ipad or smart watch, to reset, and get creative. I am also currently illustrating a children’s book called “Rambunctious Rex” which should be ready in the following months.
So back to the question at hand, picking a subject or area of strength to focus on is what I feel is best for me at this time. Within the area of illustration there are still many of gaps for me to strengthen and so there is still growing to be had. Trying to grasp at too many straws was becoming overwhelming and unproductive. It was time to make a choice and so I did.
Contact Info:
- Website: DaftLogicX.com
- Instagram: @Daftlogic, @FuzzyMonsterCo
Image Credits
All images are copyright, Daft Logic llc & Fuzzy Monster.
