Meet Sharon M. Peterson

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Sharon M. Peterson a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Sharon M., we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?

I recently heard about the concept of grit, the “perseverance of effort.” Essentially, that’s what resilience is. The ability to keep getting up and trying even when you fail, even when it’s hard, even when you’re exhausted. I’ve seen how this instilled in me as a kid and how it’s shaped my life as an adult.

Most definitely, my resilience comes from my mom. She was essentially a single mother to my little sister and me. Although my dad was around, he had a lifelong battle with drugs and was in and out of prison. His addiction was the most important thing in his life, and it controlled all his decisions. Those decisions often affected our family.

There were times when we were homeless. Literally. If it hadn’t been for the kindness of friends, I’m not sure where we would have ended up. We were poor. I remember my best friend accidentally stepped on my new eyeglasses on my thirteenth birthday, snapped one of the arms off. My mom could not afford a new pair. And so for the next six months, I wore glasses without an arm. (As you can imagine, I was super cool in middle school.)

My mom worked two, and sometimes three, jobs to make ends meet. Looking back now as an adult, I know she struggled so much but she didn’t let it affect how she took care of our family. She was knocked down a lot and every time, managed to get back up. From her, I learned that you have to just keep going as well a strong work ethic and how to laugh in the face of hard things.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

As a child, books were my saving grace. I read voraciously and constantly. I spent my day with a book tucked under my arm or in my backpack just waiting for the moment when I could crack it open. I took books to the bathroom with me. (No judging. Cellphones weren’t a thing back then.) I read by nightlight long after I’d been tucked into bed. Books and me—we were friends. So it isn’t too surprising that I secretly dreamed of writing books one day.

But life has a way of detouring dreams like that.

I got married. I taught middle school. I had four kids, two with special needs. I quit teaching to stay home and became a professional at a variety of things including: arguing with insurance companies, shuttling children to daily therapy, microwaving chicken nuggets, and living on caffeine and prayer. Life taught me I had to be ruthlessly practical. Which meant: no time, no money, no sleep, no writing.

But around 2015, friends, probably tired of my rambling Facebook posts, encouraged me to start a blog. So I cautiously signed myself up for a free one and promised myself I’d give it a shot. I blogged for a year and I learned two things. One, I hated blogging, and two, I loved telling stories.

Writing became an outlet for me, a sort of free therapy. I was happier when I wrote consistently. So in 2016 when my laptop broke and we couldn’t afford to replace it, to say I missed writing was an understatement. It was like a limb had been cut off and then reattached with duct tape and instructions to continue with regular activity. Which is what I did. The stiffest of upper lips, sucked it up, and all that. Secretly, I longed to write.

A few months later, a friend asked me for coffee. When I got there, she presented me with… a new laptop. A group of moms (most I didn’t even know) had been following the blog. They’d pitched in and bought it for me so I could keep writing. It was the most remarkable gift I have ever received. I decided then and there and I was going to write a book.

So during naptimes, at 1 a.m, in between cleaning up spilled milk and wrestling naked children off the trampoline, I wrote. That laptop lived on my kitchen counter, perched on an economy box of baby wipes. I often wrote in five- or ten-minute increments, standing at my kitchen counter.

In 2017, I finished that book.

I had no money for extras. I didn’t attend conferences. I couldn’t pay for an outside editor. I used the resources I found around me–the writing community on Twitter. I found a local writing group. I met strangers who became critique partners who are now lifelong friends. I started querying and got requests. None of them panned out. Then, in June 2017, my only sister/sibling and best friend passed away unexpectedly, and I plummeted into a severe depression. But I didn’t give up on that stupid book. Some days, it was one of the few things that kept me going..

Over 16 months, I queried 107 agents. I was rejected a lot until I thought about changing my name to Reject. Two days before my 40th birthday, I signed with my agent. My book went out on submission.

In the meantime, I secretly entered the Romance Writers of America’s Golden Heart contest. I told no one, not even my agent. I was sitting in a parking lot of a pet store when I got the news that I was a finalist. I cried, as one does when receiving such news in a pet shop parking lot, then politely turned down the invitation to attend the conference in New York City which mind as well cost a million dollars. But the people in my life wouldn’t let that slide. They encouraged me to crowd source for the funds. It took a little over a week for friends, family, and members of the writing community to fully fund my plane ticket, hotel, and conference fee. I went to NYC for that conference.

While I didn’t win, it was the second most remarkable gift I’ve received.

Alas, that book did not sell. So I wrote a second book. It was pretty good, better than my first. Because in the years leading up to it, I learned a lot about writing for publication. The book went out on submission in 2019. And the response was positive. I got a revise & resubmit from an editor, we pulled it and I did more revisions. It went back on submission in February 2020—days before the world exploded.

Then my personal life exploded, too. In August 2020, my husband was laid off his job of 10 years. Two months later, he contracted COVID and ended up hospitalized. In January 2021, my oldest son began having grand mal seizures. In February 2021, the Freeze came through Texas and our two story house was completely destroyed by frozen pipes. Our family of six moved into a 700 square foot hotel room for over four months. My husband still hadn’t found a new job. I could barely read a book, let alone write one. Things were bleak.

And no, this is not the part of the story where my book magically sold at auction for seven figures and a movie deal.

We finally got back into our house and in October 2021, my husband accepted a job 2000 miles away. So we sold our house, uprooted the kids from the only place they’ve ever lived and moved right after Christmas. My book was still in submission-limbo and I was beginning to think maybe I wasn’t meant to be a writer.

But in January of 2022, my agent submitted to Bookouture, an imprint of Hachette UK and… they liked it. Liked it so much, I was signing a two-book deal in February. Six months later, The Do-Over was published. It wasn’t on any lists and it’s never had a best seller ribbon but it sold consistently and steadily and quietly won over readers’ hearts. It’s been translated into German, Czech and has three other translation deals in the works.

I published my second book, The Fake Out. in July of 2023 and my third, The Fast Lane was released on 19 June! I also found that The Do-Over would be getting a print run. In September 2024, The Do-Over was released in trade paperback in bookstores across the U.S.

I have to pinch myself all the time that this is really happening. I am a published author. Has my world suddenly become rainbows and kittens? No, it has not. We still have a lot of challenges and they aren’t going anywhere. So I celebrate every single win, big or small.

But mostly, I know what I’m capable of now. There’s power in that, the knowledge that with persistence, stubbornness, and a little hope, even the biggest, scariest, most impossible dreams can come true.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

1. Sense of humor:
One of my favorite quotes is from Steinbeck’s’ The Grapes of Wrath: “It was her habit to build up laughter out of in adequate materials.” I’ve always strived to live my life that way. For me, laughter has always been my way to deal with what life hands me. The ability to laugh in hard times is at its core a way for us to know that things will get better. If we can laugh at it, not all hope is lost.

2. Perseverance
Like most things in life, writing and publishing a book is a long, long game. I’ve had lots of rejection, close calls, disappointments, and frustrations. The only thing I can say is, “Onward!: You have to be able to pick yourself back up and keep working towards your goal. When I was kid, this was called “being stubborn.” Ha! Joke’s on them. It’s most definitely worked to my advantage.

3. Authenticity
I try my hardest to be my authentic self. I think people can see right through fake and that’s such a turn off. Live is messy and hard and wonderful and weird. I want to talk about all the parts of it honestly. I’ve found by just being myself, I’ve found some amazing writer friends, readers, and people who relate to me and the messy of life. Also, I’m an oversharer and that helps. That’s my husband’s favorite thing about me–that I’m an oversharer. 🙂

What is the number one obstacle or challenge you are currently facing and what are you doing to try to resolve or overcome this challenge?

My biggest challenge is always time management and anxiety. I do not have a designated office space so I’ve had to write when and were I can. Going from a stay-at-home mom to a work-at-home mom has been a really big adjustment for the whole family. I have a pair of noise-cancelling headphones I’ll wear when I’m working that’s a visual cue to the kids. I have a couple of stick notes on my laptop that says, “If the headphones are rockin’, don’t come a knockin’,” and “Before you interrupt me, can you ask Dad this question?” One always of my sons is profoundly autistic and requires 24/7 supervision so that can add to daily chaos and stress. Sometimes I really have no idea how I get anything done. One word at a time, I guess.

I’ve struggled my whole life with anxiety. In the last couple of years, I’ve been in therapy and medication, Two years ago, I was diagnosed with ADHD at 44. That explained a lot and it’s helped to direct me in finding systems to help me not get overwhelmed.

I guess I’m a constant work-in-progress and that’s okay.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.sharonmpeterson.com
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stone4031/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SharonMPetersonAuthor
• Twitter: https://x.com/stone4031
• Other: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@stone4031

Image Credits

No credits needed.