Meet Shauna Dukes

We recently connected with Shauna Dukes and have shared our conversation below.

Shauna, we’re thrilled to have you sharing your thoughts and lessons with our community. So, for folks who are at a stage in their life or career where they are trying to be more resilient, can you share where you get your resilience from?

I never really knew about resilience or had given it any thought until I found myself drowning in a sea of grief after my 3 year old son died after a two and half year cancer journey, in 2017. I had never experienced emotional pain like that before and found myself depressed, feeling like an emotional zombie and simply existing rather than actual living.

I must have done 1000 google searches looking for answers and hope on how to still live when one of your children dies. I spent a lot longer than I care to admit numbing with alcohol, mindless scrolling, shopping, and doing anything really to not think about my reality or how sad I was.

Cultivating resilience for me has taken a lot of time, a lot of intention, and daily practicing habits that are helpful for healing, regulating my nervous system and supporting my overall mental health.

Having resilience is not a one time event. It is something you have to choose over and over again when there are a ton of other choices. Healing from anything takes consistency, a will to want to heal and grit to never give up, even when you don’t know how you will go on.

Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?

In 2022 just after the 5 year anniversary of my son dying, I felt a gentle nudge in my spirit to write about grief. I fought that idea for a while as I didn’t want to ever be known as a grief expert. However the nudging on my heart persisted and I felt like God was whispering to me that I wouldn’t be known as a grief expert, I would be known as a hope giver. I basically wrote the book to myself in early grief, and shared what I would have liked to know when grief was new to me. You can order my book on amazon it is called Even If- A Holistic Approach To Living A Joy Filled Life With Loss.

A huge part of my healing journey has been helping others that are new to grief navigate this difficult path. In 2023 I founded Holistic Grief Academy, my coaching program for mothers who have lost a child. In all my searching through out my early years in grief I would have loved to have guide along the way. I created a path to wade through the storm, a way for me to give hope to those newer to grief, and a community of other mothers who truly know how difficult it is to learn how to live without one of your children. Together we work on building back our foundations, mindset, regulating our nervous systems, sleep, nutrition, and finding purpose.

If you would like to learn more or connect with me directly you can click this link.https://holisticgriefacademy.myflodesk.com/prei7fpydj

I also host a podcast called Not Your Average Grief Podcast where I interview guests who have cultivated resilience in their life post trauma. My hope is this is an additional resource for anyone who is navigating this life with grief.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

I think the most powerful tool we have in our healing journey is our mindset, and whether or not we think we can heal. Grief can be all consuming and there is so many heavy emotions that come with it that it can be really easy to stay in fight or flight mode, feel overwhelmed and therefore get stuck. The key is to slowly build stability and take back control of the things that you can control.

I also think that there is a powerful place in having a prayer and gratitude practice. Not that feeling grateful takes away from your sadness or loss, it will never do that, but something magical happens when we are fully present and acknowledging what is in front of us. It’s like putting on a filter for the day that reminds you why you still want to live.

The other thing that has supported my mental health throughout the pediatric cancer world for 2 and half years and also through grief has been daily movement for my body. Whether it’s a walk, run, lifting weights, yoga, or a HIIT workout, I am firm believer that moving your body will also help you move through the emotions.

Thanks so much for sharing all these insights with us today. Before we go, is there a book that’s played in important role in your development?

One of the most incredible books I have ever read on grief is Tom Zuba’s Permission To Mourn. I had read this book early on in my grief journey and never knew how much of a profound impact it had on me until recently when I picked it up again. I highly recommend it. The whole book it written in poetry and is packed full of hope on how you still love after you lose somebody. The most powerful concepts that he shares is that we actually have some control over the way we choose to grieve.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://shaunadukes.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mrsshaunadukes/

Image Credits

Talia Pashey Photo