We were lucky to catch up with Shelley Meche’tte recently and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Shelley, we’re so appreciative of you taking the time to share your nuggets of wisdom with our community. One of the topics we think is most important for folks looking to level up their lives is building up their self-confidence and self-esteem. Can you share how you developed your confidence?
Absolutely! Developing confidence and self-esteem can be difficult. When thinking of confidence/self-esteem building, we often associate it with speaking positive affirmations into ourselves. And while this is a wonderful confidence booster, I believe it’s important to go a little deeper. Instead of just speaking general affirmations about oneself, I have found that personalizing affirmations help to build our inner worth even more.
When I started to build my self-esteem…instead of me waking up telling myself “you are amazing”. I began telling myself “you have a beautiful smile”, “what an amazing friend you are”, “what beautiful almond colored eyes you have”, because these are things that I honestly believed were true for me.
When we speak those things that we believe are actually true about ourselves…it allows our confidence to grow, because we already believe those things. And we ALL have SOMETHING that we believe is true about us…even if it’s “I love the shape of my chin”!
Speaking those things that were true about myself…gave me the confidence to believe something even MORE about myself…and it grew from there. Confidence helped to build my self-esteem. And the building of my self-esteem gave me the courage and confidence to dream more…do more…LIVE more.
But it all started with speaking those things which were already true for me…so that I was able to build on that.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
Hey there! I’m Shelley Meche’tte (say MehSHAY). Certified Life Purpose & Confidence Coach, Int’l Speaker, Best-selling Author and Mom-life Strategist. I absolutely love what I do. I became a Life Purpose Coach because I wanted to help women discover who they were…outside of their everyday titles. Oftentimes, women get stuck in their “life roles” and responsibilities, which can cause them to lose sight of who they are as an individual.
When we lose sight of who we are as a person, it can cause us to feel lost, lonely, unseen, less worthy or even depressed. I understood all of these emotions at one point in my life, when I left my 9-5 to become a stay-at-home-mom. Because everything had become about me nurturing those around me, I had forgotten how to nurture myself. And this left me feeling broken, emotionally dehydrated and crying most of the time. I felt isolate and insecure, because I didn’t know who I was anymore. I was living a “reduced version” of who I was meant to be.
But when I began to separate myself from my titles and remember the woman that I was, “before” becoming someone’s wife, mother, employee, etc…that’s when I started to see ME! I realized that I deserved good things and to be authentically happy. My confidence began to resurface…and nurturing SELF, my well-being and my dreams became a part of my new priorities.
What I found was freedom, hope, peace and the WOMAN that had been hidden for so long.
I wanted this same freedom for my fellow woman. So I began sharing the tools and tips that I had learned on my own self-journey with them, like my Self-love Affirmations, eventually becoming a Certified Coach…and later…a Mom-life Strategist. I now show moms how to boldly embrace the woman they are beyond motherhood so they can enjoy life-balance, purpose and authentic happiness in every aspect of their lives.
And I haven’t looked back since!
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
The 3 personal qualities that I would focus on most include:
1) Letting go of other people’s perception/idea of who you are and what your life journey should look like. I learned to embrace the fact that it’s “ok” for me to do life differently than others. I don’t owe explanations for my choices and neither do you. We were all created with special gifts, talents and purpose. And none of our journeys look the exact same. My journey to healing…motherhood…self identity…entrepreneurship and anything else is MINE to experience. As long as I keep God and my family at the center of it all…that will always be enough for me. You get to decide what is “enough” for you.
2) Being “ok” with NOT being “ok”. Because of my independence, many times it was hard for me to admit that I wasn’t “ok”. Or that I needed help. This mentality oftentimes left me burnt-out, exhausted, short-tempered and unhappy. Allowing myself to become vulnerable (with the right people), gave me a feeling of refreshment. And that’s a feeling that I wanted to hold on to. So I began to trust certain people with my feelings and my heart. It’s an emotional game changer when you can trust someone enough to let your full guard down and just be the authentic version of “you”.
3) Self-care is extremely important. When I was able to rid myself of the idea that self-care is selfish…I began to enjoy time spent alone. I began to enjoy times of personal refreshing. And I was able to end the mom-guilt that used to come along with taking care of ME. I learned to fill my cup first so that I gave from my “overflow” and not my emptiness. Pour into YOU. Take care of YOU. Fill YOUR cup so that you’ll be at your best when pouring into others’ around you.
Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?
I have learned that when I am overwhelmed…it’s my mind and body’s way of telling me to slow down. So that’s what I do. I stop. And I pull something from my “refresh” bucket…(which are just simple activities that calm or rejuvenate me) to reset. I may change my scenery for a moment, sit by a window to feel a cool breeze…take 20mins to watch some fun videos or a sitcom. These things relax me and help to settle my mind.
Then I re-evaluate my list for the day…taking things off of my plate that can be done at another time and committing to just two or three things. By doing this…I take pressure off of myself to have “everything done”. It helps to put me back in control and evaluate what my true priorities are for that day.
Then I thank myself for all that I was able to accomplish that day and for honoring my bandwidth. We get a 100% bandwidth and I’ve learned that exceeding that only causes more overwhelm, mental chaos and unnecessary overload.
My advice for anyone experiencing overwhelm would be to…
1) Prioritize Your Day. Break down your daily tasks into small, manageable steps. Make a daily to-do list, organizing tasks based on urgency and importance. Identify what needs immediate attention and what can wait. Prioritizing and organizing tasks, helps to alleviate the feeling of chaos and overwhelm.
2) Create a “Refresh Bucket”. What are some things that refresh you and calm your mind? Make a list of those things, so that when you feel overwhelm coming on…you can stop it in its tracks, by participating in a “refreshing” activity. Overwhelm is a sign that we have taken on too much and need to slow things down. Respond to what your mind and body are asking for, which is a break. And enjoy something refreshing. Then decide what on your list is most important. Commit to doing that one thing. Afterwards, evaluate your bandwidth. Are you able to complete another task on your list? If so…do it. If not…honor what you have done and roll the rest over to the next day.
3) Learn to Say “No”. One common cause of overwhelm is taking on too many responsibilities or commitments. Learn to set boundaries and say “no” when you’re already stretched thin. Understand your limits and recognize that it’s okay to decline additional tasks if you can’t handle them without becoming overexerted.
Contact Info:
- Website: www.ShelleyMechette.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shelleymechette/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shelleymechette
- Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shelleymechette/
