Meet Shelly Campbell

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Shelly Campbell a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Shelly, so excited to have you with us today and we are really interested in hearing your thoughts about how folks can develop their empathy? In our experience, most folks want to be empathic towards others, but in a world where we are often only surrounded by people who are very similar to us, it can sometimes be a challenge to develop empathy for others who might not be as similar to us. Any thoughts or advice?

This is an interesting question and it called to me because studies have shown that folks who read fiction tend to have greater empathy than non-fiction readers and non-readers both. The study: Bookworms versus nerds: Exposure to Fiction versus non-Fiction, divergent associations with social ability, and the simulation of Fictional social worlds by Raymond A. Mar, Keith Oatley, Jacob Hirsh, Jennifer dela Paz, and Jordan B. Peterson, shows this quite well.

It makes sense when you think about it. If a fictional work is more driven by character than plot, it literally offers an experience of stepping into someone else’s mind and viewing the world from a different viewpoint. As George R.R. Martin famously wrote in A Dance with Dragons “A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies.”

Our brains are hard-wired to learn–particularly to learn how to survive. When we read a story–or are told a story, our brains use it as a lesson. Can we learn from facing experiences that are fictional, through characters that aren’t real? Sure we can. We explore humanity through fiction. And sometimes the fiction is the buffer. It gives us a safe place to ‘practice’ empathy precisely because it isn’t real. We can ride along inside the head of a person with different political views, who may be a different race, different religion, or have a different gender orientation than us. And we get to see everything from their point of view, experiences their unique losses, celebrate their wins. It allows us to practice getting out of our own narrow lanes and opening ourselves to exploring different perspectives and beliefs.

And once we get good at doing that in fiction, it’s easier to empathize with folks in real life even if they are nothing like us.

I like to think that I developed empathy through reading everything I could get my hands on as a child.

And I’m trying really hard to maintain my empathy as an adult by staying curious to other people’s points of views. If I disagree with someone, if they hold different beliefs than I do, I’m curious as to what drives them, and how they ended up holding the perspective they have–to a point.

There is a line.

If someone is racist, sexist, bigoted, or genderphobic, I have no empathy for that at all. I don’t need to get inside the heads of folks like that because I already understand what drives them. Fear and hate. Neither of those things are healthy for me–and boy is it easy to get sucked into fear and hate. I struggle against them all the time. Neither of those things help me thrive and survive, nor do they help others.

On that note, I think it’s also important to realize that kindness and empathy are currently considered weaknesses amongst the folks I just mentioned–which is an absolute garbage take. There are people out there–usually lacking in compassion themselves–who think that empathy equates to the sort of softness that can be trampled on. People who tend to think in absolutes. There is only right or wrong. Their views tend to be very binary and narrow.

Lately, we’re seeing a resurgence of racism, bigotry, hatred, an dehumanization of groups that don’t fit a perceived ‘norm’. We’re seeing people not seeking to understand folks who are not like them but instead seeking to control them–or destroy them. This is what happens when we let folks without empathy or compassion lead us.

And remember, empathy doesn’t make us soft. It makes us strong. It enables us to care for other people, and what happens to them, and what rights they are given or denied, even if those things have no direct effect on us.

Hate and fear can drive people, but it tends to drive them apart and it excels at crumbling societies.

Empathy though, that’s the glue that holds a healthy society together.

And you can practice it.

You can make the glue stronger.

Even if it’s as simple as stepping into a fictional character’s shoes and reading a book.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I am an author and artist who mostly focuses on the weird and fantastical. I like to feed my imagination. I write dark fantasy, horror and sci-fi that is character driven–and I’m told–emotionally heart-wrenching (sorry!) It’s such an interesting way of reaching other people. I sit here alone at my computer and my words get printed on paper, and people across the world who I might never meet get to share an experience with me. Long after I’m done writing, heck, long after I’m dead, people can still pick up my book from some dusty shelf, and they can share an experience with me. How cool is that?

I just wrapped up writing the third and final book in my quiet horror Dark Walker Series. Currently, I’m slogging through the first draft of book three in my young adult solar flare post-apocalypse Sol Survivor series. Excited to get two more books out into the world.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

Three skills you need as an author would be persistence to the point of stubbornness, openness to the type of critiquing that can help you grow, an a firm belief in your work. That’s a tough balance because if you believe in your work and you are stubborn, it can be hard to be open to constructive criticism!

The best way to develop these skills is to find other writers that you jive with. Join a group. Go to readings. Find authors who’s work makes you excited. Writers are a society too. We all help build each other up so we can all improve. If you encounter an author who’s tearing other authors down–they’re not your people! Search elsewhere. We tend to be introverted , us authors, but we’ve all had people help us to get to where we are, and most of us are happy offer a hand to help those who are upcoming. A rising tide lifts all boats sort of thing 🙂

What is the number one obstacle or challenge you are currently facing and what are you doing to try to resolve or overcome this challenge?

The number one obstacle I am facing right now is holding on to hope. Don’t mean to sound dour here, but it’s a big ole world out there, and the older I get, the more hate and fear I see. There’s evil out there, no doubt about it, but I need to remember that there’s good out there too. There’s hope. What is humanity if not hope? We’re a blue speck in the blackness of the universe hurtling through space. I need to remind myself that it is not up to me personally to fix all the horrible things I see going on–an impossible task. It’s just up to me to pick the few things I can do something about and focus on those small things. And it’s okay if my hope is small right now. Small hopes and joys add up to big things. Small stories can have big effects on people. Hope ebbs, but it swells too. Just ride that wave as best you can 🙂

Contact Info:

Suggest a Story: BoldJourney is built on recommendations from the community; it’s how we uncover hidden gems,
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
Resilience
Where does your optimism come from?

Optimism is the invisible ingredient that powers so much of the incredible progress in society

Confidence
Stories of Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Learning from one another is what BoldJourney is all about. Below, we’ve shared stories and

Resilience
The Power of Persistence: Overcoming Haters and Doubters

Having hates is an inevitable part of any bold journey – everyone who has made