We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Shenette Swann a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Shenette, so excited to talk about all sorts of important topics with you today. The first one we want to jump into is about being the only one in the room – for some that’s being the only person of color or the only non-native English speaker or the only non-MBA, etc Can you talk to us about how you have managed to be successful even when you were the only one in the room that looked like you?
“The only one in the room” is such a loaded statement and experience that I’ve learned to understand, accept and not just adjust to, but make it my zone of influence and capability!
As a child, I had no idea that this was common for people of color! I’ll never forget an audition in Memphis for the high school’s chorus department. With a mother as a soul singer, a father as a drummer, and plenty of other family members with natural non coached singing abilities, I had developed a singing skill fairly young.
The audition went better than expected and not only was I placed in the choral department, but I was placed in an advanced chorus. The pattern followed me in my writing/english programs. I was placed in the advanced honors Literature classes as well.
It was different- being one of the only black students singing French and Italian arias as competition pieces. I’d earned the next level chorus, and the next. I earned that seat in the All State Tennessee Chorus multiple times and I earned those writing awards. I kept pursuing talent shows, writing competitions, play auditions and more. Diving into all of my creative talents opened doors for me and I valued those doors. I convinced myself that these experiences were much like growing up in a military family on military bases. The people around me looked different and that was ok. But it wasn’t ok. Although I learned so much from the diversity on military bases, being the only one of a certain demographic was different and exhausting. Performing in school competitions meant rooming with people who’d never understand why I covered my hair at night. They’d ask how I attached hair that was synthetic to my own. They’d question why I didn’t want to get my hair wet. They’d listen to songs that were not my preference. I’d have to hear stories that were so deeply steeped in white privilege. I had to compete in front of all white judges most of the time.
All of these moments were confusing to me as a student because I definitely enjoyed the company of the friends I had acquired along the way of my teen performance journey. I enjoyed the opportunities. I was thankful for the incredible doors that had opened for me. It was just an emotional and mental drain that I had no words to articulate then.
I didn’t let it break me, however. Although it is never a black person’s job to educate, teach or enlighten anyone about the African American experience, I decided that if they were going to be with me or around me, I’d be sure to do things my way. I sang my runs and riffs in show tunes that didn’t call for it. I auditioned for plays like Snow White musicals just to go against the norm and show that I could be cast as the unexpected.
I wrote essays on the black experience. I challeneged my poetry club teacher who thought my words were too “black”. I competed with songs that were also non traditionally black, like country music- and won! Simply put, I never quit. When you feel a call to change something – do not budge! Agitate the system and shake up the norm. Even now, I am the first person to implement Black History Month programming for Marbles Kids Museum where I am a guest engagement manager of Inclusion and program delivery. I’ve been offered several opportunities where, once again, I travel as the only black woman with my colleagues. I present on topics of equity, inclusion and diversity and It never gets comfortable. I do believe however, that it is in the discomfort that we find our grit and our perseverance. Through advocacy, speaking my truth, and remaining unapologetically black, bold and sincere- I’ve caused doors to open for others. Being the only Black woman in many situations, Being the only single mother or divorced parent, being the only person in the room with a same sex partner, being the only person in the room who learns through stories and never through graphs, being the only person with my intersecting identities has actually given me the courage and the faith to not only prove how powerful I am, but also show others that being an ONLY is impactful if used with intention. Every moment we breath is a moment to learn and make a difference! I choose to do it afraid. I choose to bring my whole self to the table even if the table isn’t looking for my presence. Even if I have to build the table! I will take a chance on me everytime. I am worth it. My voice, my narrative, my journey. There will never be any part of my story that I don’t own and use for my own good!
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
I believe sincerely that our story is our power. We all have experiences that lend to our future careers, our best volunteer work in the community or simply our best selves. As a narrative journaling coach- I guide people through an intricate, unraveling journey of self. My mission is to help others spark curiosity, respect and admiration for their own personal narrative. I help people identify and remove limiting beliefs from their daily self talk and conversations and I work diligently to help them craft new affirming beliefs and new ways to view themselves and the stories they’ve told on repeat about who they are.
I’ve created a guided meditation, motivational music and writing program that is packed with intention and wonderful nuggets of self care to help people get in tune with their deepest needs and their truth. Staying in my own truth, I focus on the power of words. I’ve kept a journal since the age of ten and now at the age of 45, I now have over 30 jounals-packed in the most adorably retro olive green suitcase. These journals are the homes of all of my experiences, my feelings and my choices. They dive down emotional tunnels of rejection, embaressment, pride, self confidence, and my worst heart aches. These diaries and journals were just an outlet for me throughout the years and I had no clue of what they would mean for me now. I’ve been singing all my life, but something was missing all along and it was my own voice. The songs were beautiful to perform but it was not my message. It was not my narrative, and it was not authentic to me. In 2012, I began seriously songwriting. I used my journals to help me create songs that felt relatable. Although I was a woman of faith with positive energy and a celebration spirit, I had hit a dark time in life. I felt alone and unloved in a marriage, I was the parent of two sons and believed that I had to keep up the appearances to please family and friends. I used my stage and the songs I had written from my own journal entries to self soothe and to cope with the difficulties and depression I was facing. At the release of my album entitled Doors, I was blown away by the responses and the sold out shows. I couldn’t believe that people wanted to hear my words. The album was written to simply encourage me. It eventually encouraged thousands! Bold and afraid, I stepped out on faith and fear to admit my truth. I was dreadfully unhappy and I had done everything to heal and help my 15 year marriage. To this day I say…If a woman steps away from her marriage after she has built a family, trust her when she says that it was the most difficult and painful detachment of her entire life. The healing process is difficult especially when walking away from the only source of financial help you have. I leaned on community, my faith, and my shows to get me through. Later on I realized that it wasn’t just the songs I had written. It was the words in the journals. The self motivation, the empowerment messages and the love was in the diaries. I took two years revamping the way I approached journals and the words I wrote in them. I eventually created a system …S.W.A.N.N. Spark Wonder And New Narratives has been the umbrella for motivation, music empowerment and life coahing that feels authentic to me. I use my own tools and my own super power to help others. Today, I work alongside powerful black women, mostly single parents- to help rewrite the narrative. We debunk those limiting belief’s that society has taught them and we evaluate the traditions they may have been forced to keep. I use gentle self love approaches that bring on the soft girl era for black women. I help them remove the strong cape narrative and accept their vulnerability and their need for tenderness. I’m so stoked to be working on my latest Project called I SPEAK. I speak combines the power of words with the practice of meditation. The book will serve as a guide to help indiviuals choose their words wisely when speaking over themselves. Partnered with transformative meditations, I SPEAK emphasizes the importance of intentionailty over our words. There will be meditations to ignite joy and there will be meditations that offer solace and encouragement when it’s needed most. I use all of my talents and gifts to encocurage and motivate community. when connecting to my show audiences on stage or in drumcircles where I do community building and self expression release through drumming, or when teaching a writing class or a parenting class-It’s all about using my truth. It’s all about using my talents, It’s all about helping everyone else to do the very same thing.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Faith in something greater than me has always been my secret weapon. I have southern roots and God was no option growing up. You either beleived or you pretended to. Lucky for me, as we moved often growing up and I didn’t have to pretend for my family in North Carolina. I had the liberty to explore my ideas and my own thoughts because we were not “Every sunday Saints” as they used to say growing up. We just had a knowing that felt deeply connected. When things got tough, we looked beyond our abilites and called out to something greater. In my younger early adult years after moving back to NC, joining our home church was unavoidable and quite honestly I thrived in it wonderfully-until I didn’t. I was heavily involved in ministry. Publically proclaiming my faith and living as “by the book” as I possibly could until I realized something powerful. I wanted to share my love for people and my love for God- but I simply could not exclude people based off of their religious beliefs, their sexual identities, or their unbelief. I didn’t like the idea of performing religion. My love for prayer is why I am so powerful with my words today. I take it seriously. In my prayer and meditation time, I connect with loving God. Not here to reject me or bully me, not here to denounce me or remove me. Here to approve me and wrap me in love beyond words. So I stepped away from organized religion and I spent a significant amount of time unlearning messages that are steeped in mysongyny and spiritual abuse. I practiced my faith privately. Removing the stage of performing religion and taking it into a private place of stronger faith, private prayer and meditation, and intentional relationships with people who have been rejected by organized religion is now my platform. My advice about this is simple. Acknowledge that there may have been some terrible messging along the way growing up. Give yourself grace and start connecting to your higher more wiser self. Trust the guidance of something greater than you. There is a purpose in you. There is a calling in you. Chances are it’s sitting right under you nose and right within reach because it wrapped in your journey.
Another quality that has helped me over the years is my decision to consume less of the world’s troublesome reality and more of the world’s bright possibilities. I know that someone has been murdered while I was sleeping, I don’t need to turn the news on for them to tell me. I know that suicide has intensified. That does not mean I need to consume content about it in large amounts unless it’s part of my profession. I know that capitolism has drained us dry and the basic needs of life are being denied from people who don’t have the acceptable background, the correct skin color or the degree to validate thier worth. I know this is the world I live in. I’m also raising children, I’m also trying to survive and even thrive. I refuse to start my day with a daily reminder of panic, pain and societal pressures. I get one life. I choose to live it with joy. Struggle is not my narrative. With that privilege however, I choose to assist women who have been left with fewer choices and I work to help them remove struggle where they can. I trust that while I am surrounded by difficulty, I can still find my own oasis of happiness and contentment even if I am in the eye of the storm. I advise that others try one thing. Remove one source that consistently spills information into your ears that is not uplifitng you. If it is not telling you how beautifully created you are… if it is not telling you how to overcome burn out, if it is not telling you how to connect with passion…if it is not coaching you to activate your creativity- LET IT GO. I assure you, it may be doing the exact oppisite. Creating a complex, making you feel afraid to face this big world, or actvating your anxiety. Remove one source of information and trust that you may feel lighter. espcially if you fill that place with something uplifting.
One of our goals is to help like-minded folks with similar goals connect and so before we go we want to ask if you are looking to partner or collab with others – and if so, what would make the ideal collaborator or partner?
I’ve had the opportunity to partner with non profit organizations that do work that center around recovery, life improvement, and helping women. I’ve personally never felt more impactful than when I’m partnered with non profit organizations. I believe that my work is valuable and can be pricey when I’m working one on one with indiviuals depending on the need. But when Non profits in the community partner with me to come teach classes, I have access to people who could truly benefit from the program without charging the client directly. I’ve worked with therapist who want to offer group journaling and meditation work for their clients, I’ve worked with centers who provide safety and support for underserved teenagers and I’ve worked with churches who want to provide single parent classes for their members. I’m always looking for more opportunities to collab with partners who seek alternative ways to support thier clients.
Contact Info:
- Website: msha.ke/shenetteswann
- Instagram: @Shenetteswann
