Meet Simona Vivi H

We recently connected with Simona Vivi H and have shared our conversation below.

Simona, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?

I love this question, and, at the same time, I find it a bit edgy. I’ve had such a complicated relationship with confidence and self-esteem over my lifetime.

In my 20s, I would have rattled off a list of achievements—things like good grades, athletic accolades, and community service projects—as so-called ‘evidence’ of my self-esteem. But I didn’t realize I was relying on outside-in ‘proof’ of my worth. When life threw me a major curveball in my early 30s, all that external validation came crashing down, and I was forced to confront how fragile my confidence really was.

For some context: my personal history includes growing up with a complicated mother-daughter dynamic, shaped by what I’ve since recognized as a combination of being a product of the 70s and being raised by an emotionally immature caregiver. One way my young mind adapted to my environment was by taking on the role of emotional caretaker—looking after my mother’s feelings, wants, and needs while more often than not, pushing my own aside.

At the time, I didn’t realize I had internalized the belief that love had to be earned. If I wasn’t performing perfectly or managing the emotional climate around me, my sense of belonging felt at risk. But life has a funny way of insisting we learn what we need to learn, and the curveball I faced in my early 30s made it impossible to ignore just how shaky my self-esteem’s foundation really was.

It wasn’t until I started rebuilding my internal scaffolding on a foundation of genuine self-kindness that my self-esteem and confidence finally took root. I slowly learned to trust that I am worthy of love, period—no qualifiers or proving required. That transformation, while messier than I might have hoped, is what led me to create the Remothering Roadmap Framework, which you can learn more about over at reMothering.org.

One simple yet transformative tool for building the internal harmony that helps us with our esteem and confidence is something I call a ‘remothering moment.’ When we feel inner friction—like self-doubt, pressure, or overwhelm—a remothering moment invites us to pause and greet that reaction with compassion. Instead of harsh self-talk or dismissing our feelings, we can practice greeting those thoughts and feelings with an “of courseness.” For example, you might say to yourself, “Of course I’m feeling this pressure right now, it makes sense given my history.” That simple acknowledgment can shift your inner experience and create space for ease and self-connection.

My journey from ‘achievement-driven worthiness’ to aligned confidence and healthy self-esteem showed me what’s truly possible. While it took me a really, really long time to get here—learning forward and making plenty of mistakes along the way—I’m living proof that forging your own path is absolutely achievable. The good news I’d love to share with your readers is that it doesn’t have to take as long when you have a map to guide you. That’s why I’m so passionate about sharing the remothering tools and frameworks I’ve developed to help others navigate this journey with more clarity and ease.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I am a transformational life coach and remothering expert, specializing in guiding adult daughters of emotionally immature mothers toward relief and thriving forward in self-alignment. Many of the women I work with are also mothers of late-teens or young adults, navigating the delicate transition to an adult-to-adult relationship with their children. This unique intersection is one I feel deeply passionate about supporting.

Each new phase of the parenting journey calls for new tools, even for parents with impressive accomplishments under their belts—both personally and as parents. Common challenges at this stage often include the constant push-and-pull of wanting to support emerging adults while not knowing exactly where the line is between offering guidance and letting go. Many mothers find themselves feeling unsure how to communicate in a way their young adult will actually hear—especially when emotions run high or their advice isn’t well-received. Then there’s the weight of parent-doubt and guilt. And for those of us with complicated dynamics with our own mothers, add to that the quiet fear of repeating unhelpful patterns, and this phase can feel like navigating unfamiliar terrain without a map.

My work provides relief from these friction points, helping mothers step into this phase with greater clarity, confidence, and connection. What excites me most about this work is its ripple effect. When a mother transforms her inner patterns—breaking free from guilt, self-doubt, or outdated relational dynamics—not only does she create more space for her own growth and ease, but she also models healthier patterns for her children and future generations.

Leaning into the Remothering Roadmap Framework, I offer personalized coaching and practical tools that help women heal their inner worlds while simultaneously navigating their relationships with greater clarity and confidence. Whether it’s reclaiming self-trust as an adult daughter or stepping into empowered parenting with a young adult child, the skills we cultivate are grounded in self-kindness, emotional maturity, and connection.

What’s New in 2025?
This year, I’m excited to be launching a series of workshops designed for parents of late-teens and young adults. The upcoming workshop—From Tension to Trust: 3 Strategies for Empowered Communication with Your Emerging Adult—focuses on helping parents navigate the shift to adult-to-adult parenting.

For details about this workshop and other events on remothering and remothering-as-we-mother, visit CenterForRemothering.com/happenings. (https://www.centerforremothering.com/happenings )

If you or someone you know is an adult daughter of an emotionally immature parent, a mother of an emerging adult, or both, my hope is that you’ll find clarity, connection, and empowerment through this work. It’s an honor to guide others in creating healthier relationships and lives filled with more ease and alignment.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

Looking back, three qualities that have been most impactful in my journey are:

1. Compassion—starting with self
Growing up, I internalized the belief that love had to be earned through achievement or caretaking. Over time, I realized how much those history-colored glasses kept me stuck in cycles of guilt, overgiving, and self-doubt. Cultivating self-compassion was the turning point. It allowed me to quiet the harsh inner critic and embrace my own humanity, imperfections and all. Self-compassion creates space for growth and clarity, both personally and professionally.

Advice:
Practice meeting yourself where you are, without judgment. A simple mantra like, “Of course I feel this way—it makes sense given what I’ve experienced,” can help reframe self-doubt or frustration into understanding and relief.

I also want to highlight something many of us have been taught: the pervasive fallacy that self-anything is selfish or indulgent. In reality, self-compassion is anything but indulgent. It strengthens our capacity to show up for ourselves, the people we love most, and our greater communities with more patience, empathy, and presence.

2. Curiosity—about yourself and others
Curiosity has been a guiding force in my journey. Early on, I began asking questions like, “Why do I feel this way?” or “What’s keeping me stuck here?” instead of simply trying to push through discomfort.

Of course, my inner “should” committee and task-managers often have a lot to say, but they no longer get to grab the steering wheel of my life (or at least not as often!). Asking myself questions has supported me in cultivating more harmony between my own two ears, which translates into deeper, more authentic relationships with others.

Advice:
Curiosity can turn challenges into opportunities for insight. Instead of resisting uncomfortable emotions or situations, get curious about them. Journaling, reflective conversations, or even asking yourself one open-ended question a day—like, “What might this be teaching me?”—can uncover valuable lessons and paths forward.

3. Trust in the unfolding
This is one I’m still working on, but I’ll share it in case your readers are faster learners than I am. Trusting the unfolding has been one of the hardest but most rewarding lessons of my life. When things don’t go as planned (and let’s be honest, life rarely sticks to the plan), trusting that there’s a bigger picture has helped me stay open to growth and possibility, even in the face of uncertainty.

Advice:
Practice giving yourself grace when things feel messy or uncertain. Trust isn’t about knowing exactly how things will turn out; it’s about believing in your ability to navigate whatever comes next. Life has a way of surprising us when we allow space for the unexpected.

These three qualities—compassion, curiosity, and trust—have been anchors in my journey, and they’ve taught me that it’s okay to grow at your own pace. Whether you’re just beginning or navigating a new chapter, I hope these ideas encourage you to meet yourself with kindness, explore your inner world with curiosity, and lean into the unfolding with trust.

Awesome, really appreciate you opening up with us today and before we close maybe you can share a book recommendation with us. Has there been a book that’s been impactful in your growth and development?

One book that has profoundly shaped both my personal journey and the work I do is Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD. The reason it was so impactful for me is that it gave language to something that had been hiding in plain sight.

Before reading Dr. Gibson’s book on emotional immaturity (and all of her subsequent books on the topic), I wasn’t solving for the right problem. The early years of my healing journey were focused on symptoms—like achievement-for-love, reflexive caretaking, over-explaining, a fuzzy understanding of boundaries, and misguided programming around the definition of ‘selfish.’ But when I read her book, I began to see how these seemingly disparate adaptations were interconnected, all pointing back to deeper dynamics I hadn’t yet uncovered.

Her book was especially impactful because one of my well-worn adaptations was the belief that it was my responsibility to reflect well on my mother’s parenting. That adaptation, born from love and a longing for connection, kept so much in my blind spot. Dr. Gibson’s work helped me recognize this dynamic more clearly and, just as importantly, with compassion. That shift—from confusion to clarity, and judgment to understanding—was a pivotal step in my healing process.

Her work also resonates deeply with the women I serve. Many of my clients are self-reflective, deeply caring people who have spent years trying to “figure it all out.” They might identify with what Dr. Gibson describes as the internalizer—a natural problem-solver who tends to take on too much responsibility, sometimes at the expense of their own well-being. What makes Dr. Gibson’s work so powerful is the validation it offers, the feeling of being seen in a way that truly makes sense of their experience.

For anyone who resonates with this, I’d wholeheartedly recommend Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. It’s a resource I often share with clients because it helps them see themselves, and their histories, more objectively and with a deeper sense of compassion.

If you recognize your own patterns in the pages of her book (or in this conversation between Bold Journey Magazine and me) and feel called to explore them more deeply, it would be my honor to stand alongside you as you take the next steps toward relief renewed self-alignment, and a more compassionate relationship with yourself—so that you can show up in your life with greater ease, clarity, and with deep connection to those you love most.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://www.centerforremothering.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.remothering.coach/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/simonavivi/
• Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@remothering
• Other: https://linktr.ee/remothering

Image Credits

Polina Bulman Photography