We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Skylar Erna a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Skylar, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
This is such a layered question for me but I started really developing self esteem when I stopped letting the way others treat me determine my value. I have always had a really hard time with other people’s thoughts or opinions of me, if someone called me pretty I was like ‘sure, but not as pretty as ____”. If someone didn’t like me or would say nasty things without even knowing me if would bother me so much and I did not get through that until after highschool (which I cut myself slack for because being a girl in high school is literally like the hunger games). Throughout life, especially being a woman, it is so hard to not pick yourself apart or compare yourself to someone else, but when you get over the hump it is so freeing. The people that surround you matter more than anything. If you are someone who is trying to feel confident and beautiful in your own skin and you have friends who are accentuating those insecurities rather than lifting you up, you are never going to be able to overcome that battle. You just attract different kinds of people when you truly love yourself and don’t constantly feel like you’re in competition with anyone. When I started social media that was a whole different obstacle, and the way people act online will never not be so insanely weird to me. But with that being said, doing social media is what made me realize that self-esteem and confidence is such a beautiful thing to have. The best way I could sum it up is that whether it is nasty words from strangers online, or a lack of words from people you want to feel support from, it truly has nothing to do with you or anything you did/could have done differently. You will find people one day that fill your cup so much and that is the day you’ll look back at harder times and be like “Wow, it really wasn’t me”. If fifteen year old me could have wrapped her head around that I would have had to deal with way less pain and confusion. People that are not spiritually evolved hate to see someone who loves themselves, because it reflects the lack of growth and love in themself.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
Since I can remember I was filming videos and doing photoshoots, I literally would walk around my mom’s house in her high heels with a film camera or flip phone in hand. As I got older and fell inlove with things like Youtube and modeling, I started putting myself out into the world more. Whether I was making Youtube videos of me quite literally lip syncing “Super Bass” by Nicki Minaj or modeling for little boutiques/for fun with my friends, I found myself keeping the same passions for the majority of my life. I started doing ‘Youtube’ seriously and unprivating all my videos towards the end of middle school, but very quickly deleted all the videos and my account before hitting high school because I was dead set on the fact that I would have gotten made fun of. Covid ended up hitting 4 years later during my senior year of high school and by then Instagram and TikTok were just as prevelant as Youtube so I just jumped into all of it. I started making dancing videos because I missed cheerleading so much (I knew I wouldn’t be cheering in college because my body was just killing me after 13 years of it) and having to learn a 8 count to anything was honestly filling that gap for me. Plus, the dance was always my favorite part of the routine anyways. I accumulate around 120,000 followers within 6-7 months, it was insane. I would wake up everyday with like 2-3,000 new followers. It was so fun to me I never even really paid attention to monetizing until I started realizing that I could make more than any and every salary job that I would be looking at after college. I was very flaky in the beginning and never really put my all into posting everyday, I don’t know why. I think I thought I couldn’t really do it and I was already embarassed because people were already making fun of me wanting to do Youtube full time. I grew my accounts over the years slowly but surely, but everything really changed for me this year when I started taking it seriously. In February of this year (2024) I signed with my publicist Taylor, who I owe my life to, and my whole life just did a 180. Now I have around 300,000 girls and gays, who I love so much, following me across all platforms. I’m really diving into modeling towards the end of this year, and getting ready for a big move with my boyfriend who has been the most insane support/my rock throughout this crazy year. I also have had a clothing line in the works for the last two years, I took some time away from it when social media started getting crazy, but I am so beyond excited for that. It’s been an amazing year, I’m really living out all of my dreams.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
The three qualities or areas of knowledge that helped me the most during my journey was, first and foremost, consistency. I’ve struggled with my mental health since I can remember and it really prohibited me from being able to be consistent with anything in my life for a long time. There were just certain days where I could not get myself to get up and be productive, and I really kicked that this year. Of course I have my days still, but I allow myself the day to chill or doom scroll all day if that’s what I need to do in order to have the other six days of the week be productive. I feel like a huge quality that you need to have in this industry is patience, and she is unfortuntely not my virtue. Like at all. I’ve really learned how to develop patience this year, before when I would have an off week and views were low I would get so discouraged that I wouldn’t post for a week. That’s just not how it works, you have to show up everyday not expecting anything. Over everything I think my knowledge of the industry and growing up in it is what has prepared me so well. I grew up heavily immersed in the music industry because of my dad and it has helped me so much when navigating business, what to expect, how to carry myself, etc. My best advice would be to stay consistent, be YOURSELF and do not ever copy someone else because they’re doing well, and never lose yourself within it because your passion can turn into resentment so quickly if you are not in it for the right reasons.
Alright so to wrap up, who deserves credit for helping you overcome challenges or build some of the essential skills you’ve needed?
Honestly, my boyfriend Anthony. I have never been in a relationship in my life where I genuinely feel poured back into and seen the way I do with him. He helps me through every obstacle in my life work related or not, and he does it with a smile on his face. Throughout my life I have always been the person that does the absolute most for everyone, and often times for people who deserve it the least. I always felt like no one ever poured back into me or showed up for me to the extent that I did for them, and when I met him that completely changed. In a generation of treacherous men, he is SUCH a diamond in the rough. All of my friends love him, like every single one. They always say “I hope I find my Anthony soon” because he is just such a man in every way. He can fix anything in the house that breaks, he knows how to build things instead of buying them, he watches me cook so he can start getting recipes under his belt, but he’s also very emotionally mature and so intelligent. I can bring him to events with me all over the world and I don’t have to worry about a wandering eye, or who we might meet that night. He’ll take me anyway from my phone on days where the comments are nasty, he’ll tell me he wishes I saw myself the way he does when he notices me comparing myself to others, he sees me and hears me when most people don’t, he helps me with my workload when I’m overwhelmed, or do things around the house to help me without me even asking. I cannot stress enough that he is just all around such a good, genuine human with a heart of gold. While I think that when you meet your person it obviously makes you want to be the best version of yourself, we have grown together so much and have improved ourselves together. It never feels stagnant or like the other’s needs aren’t being met. He is the first person to defend me when I’m right, but also let me know when I’m wrong. That’s something a LOT of people don’t have in their life, we just really want each other to be the best we can be and that’s what makes our relationship never feel boring or like the spark is fading. We’ve been obsessed with each other since the first time we made eye contact, it’s so magicial and special. Especially in today’s generation, I really got so lucky with him.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.tiktok.com/@skylar.erna?lang=en
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/skylarerna/?hl=en
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SkylarErna
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
