Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Smyrna Gonzalez. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Hi Smyrna, so great to have you on the platform. There’s so much we want to ask you, but let’s start with the topic of self-care. Do you do anything for self-care and if so, do you think it’s had a meaningful impact on your effectiveness?
Self-care has become such a valuable element to my life. I would say self-care is a learned skill because there can be so much that goes into exercising self-care. For example, awareness of one’s limitations, recognizing and implementing boundaries, and learning what works and doesn’t work to help oneself. A common theme that I have experienced and have also seen within my client’s is how easy it can be to push self-care aside. It’s as if all of a sudden, we consider ourselves invincible and push… sometimes beyond our limitations.
I recall going through some injuries that highlighted the importance of not only listening to my body but also giving it what it needs. After having experienced shoulder injuries and two concussions in the past, I remember facing questions such as, how long until I can work again? What can I do to get back to work faster? What’s the best way to be effective at work through these challenges? It didn’t help that external factors at the time contributed to such pressures.
Self-care has become a common theme that many are familiar with, but have we dug deeper into how self-care shapes our life? Essentially, I learned that self-care shouldn’t be something that I occasionally practice, but a lifestyle that keeps self-love front and centre. As I reflect back on the experiences that confronted my self-care, I learned a valuable lesson – there is no output if there is no input. From as long as I can remember, I have valued a hard work-ethic and have been passionate about helping others. Of course, there was a lot of output.
At times we think having a hard work-ethic means pushing self-care aside to be more effective. For me, it took understanding my limits to appreciate that self-care directly makes me more effective. If I am not there for myself, how can I have the capacity, energy, or ability to be there for someone else. My reflections make me grateful to have learned such an invaluable lesson prior to becoming a Registered Provisional Psychologist. As passionate as we therapist’s may be, such a career demands a lot of output. So, I came full circle… how can I be an effective therapist with the challenges that may arise throughout? Of course, through self-care.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
For almost three years now I have been a practicing therapist and I am currently at Shelly Qualtieri & Associates Counselling & Coaching. I am currently seeing the following type of clientele: individuals, couples, and teens, with a focus on Men’s Therapy.
My work can seem simple upon first glance, but the complexities and details behind the scenes make it such a unique and rewarding job. Knowing that I’ve made an impact and helped someone during a difficult season is incredibly fulfilling.
Additionally, I really enjoy the team I work alongside. While we are all passionate about our work, we are also passionate about supporting each other – and that makes my work extra special.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
The three I would choose are:
1. Patience
Trusting the process can be tough. When I reflect on my experiences throughout my studies, internship, and even after graduation, I am reminded of the challenges and obstacles that I’ve experienced throughout. While I can now smile and appreciate the hardships given the lessons learned, it’s hard to do so in the moment. Experiencing setbacks has not only helped me to be patient with the process but also with myself. Through patience, it was easier to develop self-compassion.
2. Flexibility and a Growth Mindset
When obstacles arise, it can be easy to feel discouraged. At times, we are quicker to feel discouraged and self-criticize during such obstacles than to exercise flexibility. What impacted me the most was the significance of small steps forward. We are usually so quick to celebrate and acknowledge the big steps or milestones but often ignore the little ones without realizing that the little ones lead to the big ones. Physical injuries can sometimes force us to acknowledge the little steps and appreciate them more.
3. Self-discipline
When I think of self-discipline, I think of “do it for me”. Having done a part of my undergraduate degree online because of COVID and my graduate degree online as well, I attribute a significant portion of my ability to get through the process to self-discipline. As mentioned, working towards a goal brings obstacles that can demotivate us and it is during those moments when I reflected on the purpose of my goal. In order to get there, I had to exercise self-discipline. What I found was my self-discipline drove my positive self-esteem and nurtured my self-love.
My advice to others would be to explore purpose and find where your self-compassion comes from. There will be times when life presents challenges and obstacles, but we ought to be there for ourselves and be our own biggest fans and supporters.
Thanks so much for sharing all these insights with us today. Before we go, is there a book that’s played in important role in your development?
For me, it would be Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. Particularly his quote – “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”
Although the author is making a statement that relates to life and death, and this being more powerful than any activity one undergoes day to day, we can also utilize the power of this view for our purpose in goal setting. If we can find meaning and purpose – the why – then we can find the drive to our goal – the how.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.shellyqualtieri.ca/smyrna-gonzalaz-psychologist
- Linkedin: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/smyrna-gonzalez-352280370?trk=people-guest_people_search-card
Image Credits
Becky Noblet – Tangerine Photography and Shelly Qualtieri
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