We recently connected with Sonia Dominguez and have shared our conversation below.
Hi Sonia, thank you so much for joining us today. There are so many topics we could discuss, but perhaps one of the most relevant is empathy because it’s at the core of great leadership and so we’d love to hear about how you developed your empathy?
Empathy holds a special place in my life and my identity. Unfortunately, as human beings we are not born with the innate ability to empathize, especially in situations where that can be extremely difficult. What now is a great part of my identity and theme for how I live my life did not always come easy to me. Growing up in a Hispanic household, the cultural generational view is taught no matter what you are feeling, going through, or experiencing you work harder and don’t ask for help. If something can not be done or overcome independently and silently then it must mean you are weak, a failure, or fundamentally flawed. With this foundational idea as a constant theme in my environment it created substantially sized barriers in the ability to empathize with others, let alone myself. Throughout my unconventional childhood I endured many different forms of trauma, which ultimately lead to severe depression, anxiety, an eating disorder, suicide ideation, self harm, and suicide attempts. Due to the severity of my mental health and actions, my safety was compromised enough for me to be hospitalized for month-long periods at a time. During this time, I was shown empathy, support, and given tools I didn’t even know existed. I struggled to accept any kindness or support that was given to me due to the fact that I felt I was fundamentally flawed, and the one thing I wasn’t supposed to do I did. Therefore, I failed, and I was weak. Over months and years of internally battling what I thought was foundation true, versus what I was learning could be a new reality, my thinking of what a person’s strength really meant shifted. During these years of pain, suffering, hiding, and contemplating how I failed to the point of feeling like the only solution was to not be alive. I experienced and felt things I could never imagine, nor would I ever wish anyone else to. This was the spark that fiercely ignited my empathy vow to become a part of my identity. Empathy does not require understanding. Empathy does not require the same perspective. Empathy is so much greater. No one deserves to feel what I felt regardless of the circumstances. Our human nature is community and empathy is a gateway to promoting humanity.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I am a Music therapist. I am now practicing as a professional Music Therapist at Creative Remedies, LLC. I am a neurodivergent clinician passionate about creating a client centered experience with my clients eliminating as much power dynamics as possible. I am a trauma informed, humanistic, and neurologic informed clinician. I have made great strides to be where I am today and use my niche evidence-based skills, knowledge, and experiences to support my clients to achieve our cohesive goals. The services I currently offer are: Individual Music Therapy, Group Music Therapy, Couples and family Music therapy, and traditional or adaptive Music Lessons. I specialize in (but am not limited to): Trauma, childhood trauma, suicide ideation, self-harm, depression, anxiety, BIPOC, LGBTQIA+, coping skills, grief, women’s issues, and neurodiversity.
I have always had a passion for music and supporting others. I did not have the most traditional childhood. Switching in and out of different facilities which exposed me to the profession and eventual pursuit of music therapy. These experiences fostered a sense of compassion, empathy, and drive to create a safe, welcoming, open environment to support growth.
Although, those that have known me from a child could have guessed this is the perfect career for me it surprisingly did not come easily to myself. Music has always been a part of me from a young age. I’m begin taking piano lessons, singing in professional choirs in ensembles bands theater, and anything music, however I had my heart set on swimming at a collegiate level and grew up in a household that strongly promoted a career within stem unfortunately, my health prevented me from swimming collegiately, and a strong pressure that music was a hobby let me to pursue neuroscience in school before promptly switching to Music Therapy after my freshman year. Throughout my time in hospitals, I myself had a music therapist, which I thought was one of the coolest jobs, but seemed so unattainable to me.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Looking back at my journey I would say there are a plethora of qualities, skills, and areas of knowledge that I learned and continue to learn throughout the continuation of my personal growth. If I had to narrow it down to three I would say these: One being: your words matter and hold meaning. So don’t waste them on individuals who are not equipped with the tools to take them in or ready to hear them. I spend lots of time trying to use my communication skills, empathy, kindness, etc. to explain rationale or give reasons or validity to boundaries or my own experiences that in the end only ended up hurting me more because of the different places we were at in our lives with the understanding of growth.
Second being: You are capable of being both a self-advocate, hard worker, determined, motivated, powerful, a leader, set and stick to firm boundaries and be kind, selfless, compassionate, caring, genuine, empathetic, graceful, and take time for yourself. Oftentimes we are taught and are surrounded by influences that tell us the world is binary and we have to be either or when we can be both and. I was a victim of this kind of thinking for a while prior to unlocking the endless possible opportunities that come with a both and thinking.
Third and final being: Take time to stop and listen to what your body is telling you it needs. Our bodies do amazing things for us, give us cues, warnings, and messages everyday all day. As a hyper individualized American society tells us we have to keep pushing through and work harder it is easy to override these messages we get from our bodies telling us we’re tired, hungry, need a break, fatigued, etc. This can lead to lots of unwanted outcomes like stress, overwhelm, anxiety, burnout, and much more. We more so think about abandonment or toxic relationships in relation to other people but not often ourselves. Taking time to rebuild a trusting relationship with your body can change your life in all ways, shapes, and forms.
My advice for someone just beginning to take steps towards improvements in these areas would be to take things one step at a time, allow yourself grace, and ask for support. Set realistic achievable goals and utilize resources that are available to you! A good reminder is that progress is never linear so keep going!
Alright so to wrap up, who deserves credit for helping you overcome challenges or build some of the essential skills you’ve needed?
One of the most helpful, influential, and amazing humans in my life in helping me overcome challenges and develop essential skills, qualities, and knowledge to allow me to be successful is my dear friend, co-worker, boss, supervisor, and certified badass, Anastasia Canfield. As an intern I walked into her private practice full of imposter syndrome, anxiety, low self-esteem, a performance expectation bar for myself that was unrealistic for anyone, ready to work so hard at the expense of anything, etc. you name it I had it. She created an environment of safety, space, openness, and fostered a welcoming place I was able to thrive. She taught me you can lead a practice of kindness, grace, and care for your employees, while also achieving high standards in ethics and legality, always striving for excellence, and working hard. She mentor me from then until now Without her, my clinical skills, musical skills and interpersonal skills would not be where they’re at today and I would not be the thriving clinician or person I am today
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.creativeremediesllc.com/our-therapists
- Instagram: @creativeremediesllc
- Linkedin: inkedin.com/in/sonia-dominguez-ab3303266/
