Alright – so today we’ve got the honor of introducing you to Sonya Snow. We think you’ll enjoy our conversation, we’ve shared it below.
Hi Sonya, so happy you were able to devote some time to sharing your thoughts and wisdom with our community. So, we’ve always admired how you have seemingly never let nay-sayers or haters keep you down. Can you talk to us about how to persist despite the negative energy that so often is thrown at folks trying to do something special with their lives?
So I am about to date myself with this comment, but back in the early 2000s, there was an Atlanta radio personality whom I truly loved listening to. She would always close her show by saying, “Make your haters, your motivators”. It was the first time that I heard that saying, but it has become ingrained in my brain for over 25 years.
Throughout the course of my life, I have learned there is value in not giving the “haters” or “nay-sayers” any power to define me with their criticisms. When I hear doubt, criticism, or even negativity (and I do hear it), I intentionally take a few minutes to process how it makes me feel. Listen, I am a human being, and I experience natural human emotions just like the next person. However, I am also a therapist. Now while I get to feel whatever I feel about the criticism, I do not know how to stay in that unpleasant emotions filled space. So being able to healthily process unpleasant emotions is paramount to my next steps forward.
Once I have done that, I can remind myself that not everyone is meant to understand me or the journey. So at that point, my perspective shifts! I can focus on seeing the proof that God is moving me in a direction that truly matters. I want to persist because it helps me stay grounded in my purpose rather than being distracted by the presence of opposition.
In my work as a therapist and a coach, every bold step forward invites not only empowerment but also critique. It is important to view criticism (if it contains truth), through the lens of, “Can this be an opportunity to redefine and grow?” If yes, use the criticism constructively as motivation to redefine and grow! If no, then realize the criticism (and its source), could be “hate”, or a “mindset barrier”. So <u>briefly</u> sit with it but then consciously decide to release the barrier, so that you are able keep moving!
For me, my focus is on creating meaningful impact, not on securing universal approval. Universal approval will always be impossible to gain. So persistence is not about giving a “hater” or “naysayer” the “clap back”. It is about showing up again and again, for yourself and those who matter, by pushing through the uncertainty, and allowing this consistency to become the answer to any doubt, criticism, or even hate.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
My story has always been rooted in relationships and a desire to help people heal, grow, and discover their voice. Professionally, that has shown up in two ways: through my work as a therapist and coach, and through my creative work developing indie artists, and building platforms for authentic expression.
On the therapeutic and coaching side, I started a private practice years ago to support adults and professionals navigating trauma, anxiety, and relationship challenges. Over the last year, I have recognized that the traditional therapy model can be rather limiting. This realization inspired me to expand into transformational coaching and group programs. One program that I’m especially proud of although it is developing, is called “Still My Child”. It is a program for Christian parents of LGBTQ+ children. The program is designed to help the parents navigate the intensely emotional but spiritual journey towards uncovering balance. The balance of offering their child(ren) unconditional love, connection, guidance and support without the need to control. So often, Christian parents carry guilt that says for them to “love the sinner but hate the sin”, they must limit the level of relationship with their child(ren). Their belief is that to lend healthy love and support to the child means they are abandoning their faith. This simply just is not true! So Still My Child helps parents walk through the grief without detaching.
In addition to this, I am also a Partner along with my husband in a small, grassroots, family owned, creative strategy and artist development, business. We are excited about the release of our newest project from one of our up-and-coming indie artists. In the fall, we roll out the artists’ debut album, with a release party and live recording. That project has been both challenging and fun, but it also reflects what I personally love most about creative work, and that is building something where artistry, community, and storytelling can intersect and inspire.
What ties everything together is my passion for creating spaces where ALL of God’s people can feel seen, heard, understood, and empowered to improve. Whether it is a part of a coaching program, in a therapy session, or even at a live concert. For me, wellness and artistry are never separate: they are two expressions of the same mission: which is helping people grow.
So here’s to a season of expansion, and at the heart of it all is legacy: a desire to leave behind a work that heals and inspires, for many years to come.
If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?
Looking back, three qualities have been especially impactful in my journey: resilience, relational intelligence, and vision.
Resilience: I learned to see setbacks as lessons, not verdicts.
Relational Intelligence: Positive connections really do create impact.
Vision: Staying connected to the bigger picture even when the path feels unclear.
My 5-step advice to anyone early in their developmental journey is this:
(1) Do not wait until you “feel ready.” Your feelings will be subjective, so expect them to change.
(2) Even if you must start small, focus on how you can develop and maintain consistency right where you are.
(3) Steward faithfully over the resources you have access to.
(4) Learn to increase resilience by healthily moving through any challenges and
(5) Build relational intelligence by staying curious and positively connected to your demographic.
Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?
Now this is such a loaded question. For my birthday recently, my son gifted me with a t-shirt that read “Can’t! I’m Busy.” My family and I all shared a big laugh at the shirt, but after the laughter, there was a sobering reality present: I, like so many people, experience the feeling of being busy, stressed, and overwhelmed.
Feeling overwhelmed is usually the body’s way of saying “you are carrying too much or you are moving too fast.” So I have learned not to push through it blindly, but to slow down, breathe, and create personal space.
The most consistent thing that I do as a part of my weekly ritual towards balancing life is attend therapy. Yes. I am a therapist who proudly attends weekly therapy. I do this as an effective way to therapeutically process whatever stresses are occurring in my life at the time. Through therapy, I have learned to break the “big wave” of overwhelm into smaller, manageable steps. Instead of focusing on everything at once. So I often ask myself: What’s the next best thing I can do? Sometimes that may present in the form of prayer, journaling, taking a short walk, or calling one of my friends to share a quick laugh. The feelings of overwhelm shrink when you stop trying to do it all at once and focus on the next best step. That shift alone has helped me regain a sense of clarity.
My advice for anyone facing overwhelm is:
(1) Pause: Pay attention to what your mind and body are telling you. See it as a way to obtain insight about what is truly going on with you,
(2) Permit: Allow yourself to focus on one step at a time.
(3) Breathe: ground yourself with a moment of stillness, whether it is deep breathing, walking, praying, listening to music, or journaling.
Your goal is to decrease your reactivity to the feelings of overwhelm, and establish responsiveness.
Start with at least one healthy action that can create just enough space between the pressure you feel and the response you give.
Contact Info:
- Website: relationalchoice.com
- Instagram: sonyasnowlpc
Image Credits
On Cue Media
