Meet Sophia Parker

We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Sophia Parker a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.

Sophia, we are so appreciative of you taking the time to open up about the extremely important, albeit personal, topic of mental health. Can you talk to us about your journey and how you were able to overcome the challenges related to mental issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.

At 35-years old, I have only recently started doing the work to overcome challenges in this messy thing we call “life,” while at the same time suffering from mental illness. I have dealt with mental illness my whole life – I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, OCD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Anorexia, as well as struggling with substance abuse and self-harm, and I am just now scratching the surface of what it means to live with these things. Of course, on the surface level, I have always lived with these diagnoses and their symptoms, but I never had a true understanding of the way they worked themselves into and affected my life. As an adult, with plenty of time to reflect, I am able to paint a clearer picture of this. Through my advocacy work and learning how to effectively communicate, I have found new purpose and vigor in facing the challenges of living with mental illness.

I know now that my illnesses began when I was a young child, but at the time I did not have the words to talk about my experience, nor did I understand it. All I knew was how I felt, and it was excruciating. The fear, anxiety, and sometimes anger were so overwhelming – the feelings so intense – and yet, I never told a soul. I imagine that the trajectory of my life may have looked quite different had I spoken up – but even that was scary.

So I went through life thinking that what I was experiencing was normal. For me, it WAS normal. It was MY normal. Especially as a child, I didn’t know there was anything else. Why would I? I had a fixed idea of the way my life was supposed to go; how I could be perfect, and live a life that reflected that. I was always fearful of making mistakes and being “bad,” and this permeated all areas of my life. I punished myself often for making errors – and there were a lot. Some of my mistakes and poor decisions, I know now, were related to my Bipolar Disorder. And some were just mistakes and poor decisions.

In some ways the symptoms of my mental illness actually helped me to excel. But everything is great until it isn’t. My drive for perfection led me to exceptional work performance and productivity, and brought great highs with it. At the same time, mistakes and faults brought me to devastating lows. Still, I carried on – ever determined to be the best, and to be the one people loved.

By 2019, symptoms of my anxiety, mood, and eating disorders brought me to the end of what I knew as my work life, and I spent most of that year in treatment. Admitting that to myself feels like a failure, but that’s just one more thing to overcome. I have always had a passion for helping people, and finding myself out of work post-treatment, and in the era of COVID, I found myself wondering what I should be doing. While there was still a lot of healing and learning to due in regards to my illnesses, I felt like I could start using my experiences to work on something meaningful. I was at this time that I became involved with Project HEAL – a wonderful one-of-a-kind nonprofit with the mission of breaking down barriers to treatment for people with eating disorders. I became an Ambassador, and then worked my way to Ambassador Program Co-Manager, picking up various duties along the way. I work to connect with people and tell stories, to do advocacy work and raise awareness, and to foster community. In this space I was able to share more about my own story and in doing so, began to take more ownership of my life. Working with Project HEAL in such a supportive and inclusive environment has given me the opportunity to accept that mental illness has had a profound impact on my life. And that’s okay. Now I know more, and can see how parts of my life were shaped by my diagnoses, and I have come to discover that this is not a bad thing – it’s just what it was. Understanding this has enabled me to forgive (though not excuse) myself for some of my past transgressions, and continue to move forward with my life.

Mental illness has had a huge impact on my life, and will continue to do so for the rest of it. Owning this truth has brought me to a greater understanding of myself and how I interact with the world, and will forever aid me in overcoming the challenges that symptoms will inevitably bring me as I live on.

Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?

I have my MA in Forensic Psychology, and worked for years in case management and community re-entry for adults diagnosed with mental illness coming out of the NYS prison system. Some people I spoke to would consider my job to be “scary,” but I truly loved working with this population. It allowed me to learn and grow, not only as a clinician, but as a person.

I currently do volunteer work with Project HEAL as an Ambassador Program Co-Manager. Project HEAL is a nonprofit organization dedicated to breaking down barriers to treatment for people with eating disorders, and promoting equity and inclusivity in the treatment space, as well as in other aspects of life. In this role I connect with Ambassadors (most with lived experience with an eating disorder) as we work on fundraising and awareness campaigns, as well as fostering a supportive and ever-growing community of people passionate about access to eating disorder healing and recovery.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

I think that my empathy, passion, and determination were (and continue to be) largely impactful in my journey. I find joy in helping others, and pride myself on my ability to connect with them. I put my best effort into any project I am working on, and work on things that I am passionate about.

I think that something that is important for anyone to remember is that you can work hard(er) on improving and implementing important skills in your life AND it’s also okay to take a break. It’s a skill to be able to acknowledge that something might be more challenging than anticipated, or did not go as planned. 99% of the time you will be able to keep moving – in whatever direction that might be, even if it wasn’t something you envisioned.

What has been your biggest area of growth or improvement in the past 12 months?

I think that my biggest area of growth and improvement in the past year is my ability to communicate, especially about more personal topics, as well as experiences and beliefs I may have. I have learned (and continue to learn) how to use my voice to speak on things that I am passionate about and to be strong in my convictions, which ultimately gives me more confidence to be able to do the work that I feel I need to do in my life.

Contact Info:

• Instagram: @suppasoph_parker

Image Credits

N/A – personal photos