Meet Spike Gillespie

We were lucky to catch up with Spike Gillespie recently and have shared our conversation below.

Spike , we are so appreciative of you taking the time to open up about the extremely important, albeit personal, topic of mental health. Can you talk to us about your journey and how you were able to overcome the challenges related to mental issues? For readers, please note this is not medical advice, we are not doctors, you should always consult professionals for advice and that this is merely one person sharing their story and experience.

My business partner once tried to engage me in an exercise in which I would assign certain points to certain aspects of my life—a way to prioritize things to help me see what I count as most important. Upon considering this exercise and some examples he offered, I responded, “ALL of my points go toward one thing—my mental health.” It’s true. Unless my mental health is in order, I can’t tend to anything else very well, and I mean that personally and professionally.

These days, thanks to a million TikTok and other social media influencers going on and on about this diagnosis and that diagnosis re: mental health—well thanks to that I’d say there’s a lot of over-diagnosis going on. Lots of people talk very freely about mental health challenges. This was not the case when I was growing up. You did NOT talk about mental health. Any references I heard growing up came in the form of a threat, “If you don’t straighten up we are sending you to a shrink!!” Said angrily, and as if seeking help was a bad thing, a punishment.

To clarify—even if I’m right about over-diagnosis, I don’t think over-diagnosis is as bad as under-diagnosis or keeping silent. In my case, I don’t use labels like ADHD as a crutch or an excuse. I note that I have x traits, and that other people who have the same traits use certain strategies to cope. If their strategies make sense, I’ll try them out. I do think it’s very important not to see a diagnosis as a limitation. Instead, I see a diagnosis of a mental health challenge as a starting point for improving one’s life.

I’m in my sixties now. I have been in and out of therapy since my late 20s. I have cPTSD, ADHD, OCD and surely some other disorders. I have tried everything from self-medication (my alcoholism began when I was 14), to Big Pharma remedies, to talk therapy, to alternative modalities (including some real hippy trippy stuff), to self-help books, the list goes on. I have persisted through bouts of severe depression and persistent suicidal ideation. The older I get, the better I feel. I mention that in large part to hopefully connect with younger people who might be suffering now the way I suffered when I was younger. I still suffer sometimes, to be clear. But not nearly as much.

I think feeling better relates in part to getting older—better perspective for one thing. Like in my youth a breakup with a bad boyfriend might send me spinning for months. That would never happen now because I have self-respect. There are other contributing factors to improved mental health. I started a meditation practice more than 25 years ago, and I have been meditating daily now for at least a dozen years. I never miss. Never. Meditation is non-negotiable. Currently I am not on anti-depressants, but should the need again arise, I will do what I have to, to get out of a depression. I quit drinking more than 25 years ago, too—that helps tremendously. I walk every day. I do yoga. I am a vegetarian and most of the time I eat whole foods. I think all of these things combined have helped me to manage my chronic mental health challenges.

Oh, and how could I forget— WRITING. I have been writing since I was eight years old. I grew up in a very violent, traumatizing situation with a very mentally ill parent. We were not allowed to speak (literally) in my father’s presence. So I learned to write things down. Of course as I child I had no clue that I was doing something that would be so helpful. These days there are lots of studies that show how helpful writing is in getting through trauma. As a writing teacher, I emphasize this regularly to my workshop attendees. Writing is truly magic. And it is free.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I do a lot of things. People often comment on this—how do you know how to do so many things? Part of the answer comes from the fact that I raised my son as a single mother with no child support. I was always hustling for work. I was very adaptable—to a point. Office work, the 40 hour work week—I could not hack that. I tried a couple of times. Utterly soul killing for a creative. I did make some money from my writing, but most often this would need to be supplemented: restaurant work, bartending, pet sitting, teaching classes, hosting summer camps for kids. Then somewhere along the way I decided to become a wedding officiant and I figured that out. Eventually that became my main bread and butter work, which led to me buying a ranch and opening it as a small wedding venue. And these days, I also lead funerals.

All along the way of this adventure in accidental entrepreneurship, I continued with my writing and published many books. These days, I write a weekly substack, but that’s about the extent of my public writing. I spend far more time facilitating other people’s writing through a series of writing workshops I offer in Austin, San Marcos, and at my ranch in Garfield. It is so satisfying to encourage other people to get their stories on the page. It is so joyful to witness people sharing their stories with a room full of others listening, and to feel the alchemy that happens when connections are made through storytelling. I recently started a series of public readings at Hyde Park Theatre so that my writing workshop attendees can present their work to a larger audience.

My weekly substack is SpikeGillespie.substack.com. I also have a substack for writers of all levels. It’s free and features writing prompts and articles about the art of writing. It is at: WriteWithSpike.Substack.com. Both substacks always include information about my upcoming workshops, all of which are free or donation-based.

There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?

Persistence— For better or for worse, I have always seen the word “no” as a challenge. As a writer I have had my work rejected more times than I can count. Sure, rejection hurts in the moment, but I never let it stop me. I kept going. I keep going. My advice is—take an hour for a pity-party if you must when something doesn’t go your way, but then carry on!

Listening— Being a journalist really taught me to listen closely to people’s stories. In general, whether a situation is personal or professional, being able to deeply listen to what someone else is saying is one of the greatest gifts we can give to the other person and, also, when we truly hear someone, we are learning something. I love learning. My advice—in conversation, really try to focus on the other person, ask curious questions, and don’t spend all your time trying to come up with what you’re going to say in response. Be present for the other person.

Flexibility— Don’t box yourself in. Be curious. Try new things. I’ll give an example—after lockdown, I took a part time job at the O. Henry Museum as a docent. Dollar for dollar this pays far less than my other work. However, what it does give me is a regular opportunity to interact with people in a laid back setting, act as an informal ambassador for the city of Austin. This gig—just fifteen hours per week—really fills my emotional tank and is a guaranteed source of positivity in my life. My advice—even if you are really situated in a life that feels fulfilling, it’s still good to try new things when you can.

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? Any advice or strategies?

I ask for help when I feel overwhelmed. At first glance, this might seem like a simple answer. It is not. It has taken me a lifetime to learn it is okay to ask for help. I was raised in a family where this was not an okay thing to do. Consequently, I became self-sufficient. Only I’m pretty sure I was less self-sufficient than I believed myself to be. I think in my younger days, my refusal to ask for help, or to take it when offered, simply meant my helpful friends had to be more covert and sneaky in their efforts to help. I owe so much to my friends who have been so patient with me over the years, showing me through their actions that they do love me unconditionally and I can call on them. Still, I try not to ask for too much help. But if, say, I am having a panic attack— a real experience I sometimes have—I know exactly who to call and what to say, usually something like, “Can you please breathe with me for a few minutes?” Or, maybe, “I’m having a panic attack right now and I need you to please help me understand that I will get through it.” There is nothing more important to the human experience than connection, but for many of us humans, connecting can feel so scary. I really encourage anyone who is feeling overwhelmed to practice sharing the burden and, similarly, when you have a chance to help someone who is feeling overwhelmed, do that. The benefits are exponential.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://Spikegillespie.substack.com
• Other: SpikeGillespie.com
  TinyTRanch.com
  WriteWithSpike.substack.com

Image Credits

All photos courtesy of and copyright Spike Gillespie