We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Stacy Fatemi a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Stacy, so good to have you with us today. We’ve got so much planned, so let’s jump right into it. We live in such a diverse world, and in many ways the world is getting better and more understanding but it’s far from perfect. There are so many times where folks find themselves in rooms or situations where they are the only ones that look like them – that might mean being the only woman of color in the room or the only person who grew up in a certain environment etc. Can you talk to us about how you’ve managed to thrive even in situations where you were the only one in the room?
As a trans educator, I’ve mainly been in rooms full of cis people, tasked with getting them all to understand people like me as well as possible in the two hours typically allotted for that. It’s a nerve-wracking experience, to say the least. I’ve mainly found success through empathy. As hard as it can be for me to believe sometimes that people have not yet been exposed to the idea of someone being trans, I also know that learning about a new topic (especially one as politicized as transness) can be scary. I always try to make the audience feel like it’s okay to ask questions through the way the training is structured, through my tone of voice, and through the way I phrase every little thing. Making myself feel approachable is half the battle, and it can make it feel less like I’m some big scary trans person who’s telling people that they need to think and feel exactly one way or else.
It’s interesting, too, being a brown person in mainly white spaces. It’s often the case that the groups that have the most resources available to contract us for a training are mainly white. So, I know that the audience typically isn’t just appraising me as a nonbinary trans person, but one of color, as well. I’m lucky to never have experienced clear-cut racism, but it’s hard to know which interactions would’ve been different if it wasn’t for others’ perception of my race.
Let’s take a small detour – maybe you can share a bit about yourself before we dive back into some of the other questions we had for you?
As the co-owner of TNET (Transgender/Nonbinary Education and Trainings), I facilitate a variety of trainings about trans topics for schools, hospitals, nonprofits, and even families of trans people! It’s so special to be able to just stand in front of a room of curious people and give them the answers they need. We meet people every day who have never knowingly met a trans person or ever thought about their own pronouns, and it’s a very engaging experience to figure out how to give them new knowledge in a way they’ll be receptive to. We get a lot of questions about pronouns, some about trans youth, and, every now and then, about something we’ve never even thought of before. It was scary at first; we, as trans people, often need to be experts in biology, sociology, history, and medicine just to prove that we exist and that we’re worthy of respect. It feels fulfilling to know that my coworker and I can be the experts so that other people don’t have to.
We make a lot of educational materials about seldom-discussed topics, too. One of our first big projects was working on a zine about tucking, which is a technique used by some trans people to flatten their silhouettes. It felt like we were breaking new ground—there weren’t reference images anywhere that we could find for what actually goes on inside the body while tucking, and we spent a lot of time with the illustrator we worked with to make sure that the idea was communicated effectively. It’s wonderful whenever we get feedback from trans folks that the materials have helped them understand themself better or more at home in their own body!
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
1. Design: I’ve improved in my design skills significantly since TNET began, but my initial skill level helped us get off the ground and have a distinct look to our media. Now that I’ve branched out into using different styles, it feels much easier to come up with a cohesive look for all sorts of use cases while still preserving legibility and ease of access!
2. Software knowledge: As the resident computer-knower in the office, I manage our websites, edit long videos, deal with file transfers, and use our accounting software. One of us has to do it! My business partner handles all the emails, client-facing interactions, and all things artistic and creative, so we work very well together.
3. Linguistics: A surprising amount of trans-education-related quandaries can be resolved by knowing about language! So many people are curious about pronouns, gender-neutral language, and identity labels—honestly, a majority of the questions we get are about that, to the point where I made a whole workshop just about gender-neutral language. I definitely wouldn’t be able to do that if I didn’t already have a deep interest in and love for linguistics. I’ve come up with so many gender-neutral language tactics over the past year and a half of doing this, and it feels great to see them appreciated by the people we serve.
My advice: get some accounting software. Please. Get an accountant, have them show you the basics, and keep up to date on things. There’s nothing worse than having to rely purely on your memory when it comes time to categorize transactions and figure out your taxes. I am literally begging you to just get anything when it comes to accounting. If you’re looking for a sign, this is it. Better things are possible.
Alright so to wrap up, who deserves credit for helping you overcome challenges or build some of the essential skills you’ve needed?
My business partner! They’ve been the one person throughout this whole process who has been most invested in my growth. They give incredible constructive criticism, push me to improve in my abilities, and encourage me to try new things. It’s just us at this business—no employees, no other co-owners, no board, no nothing. The fact that we can work together while building each other up is the sole reason why this works.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://transeducation.net
- Instagram: @tnet.trainings
- Youtube: @transeducation
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
