We caught up with the brilliant and insightful Stefanie Potter a few weeks ago and have shared our conversation below.
Stefanie, we’re so excited for our community to get to know you and learn from your journey and the wisdom you’ve acquired over time. Let’s kick things off with a discussion on self-confidence and self-esteem. How did you develop yours?
Like most people, I have fought insecurities over the years. Culture and advertising tries to tell us who we’re supposed to be, and what we’re supposed to do, to be liked and loved. From covering up “imperfections” with makeup, to weight management, to clothing styles, to expected roles (in life, business, and music)–women are especially bombarded with these messages.
Add to this that I am fully aware that I am NOT the best (singer, guitarist, songwriter, producer, etc) and am constantly trying to improve in my music creation… it doesn’t make a good case for having natural confidence.
Furthermore, as a female musician in a male-dominated industry, some places I’ve even felt like I needed to be a better musician than the men in the room to even be considered as worthwhile… especially since I don’t choose to do the “dolled-up babe” look. (No shade to those who do… all shade to those who see me as less than because I don’t!)
I won’t pretend all these messages have never impacted me. But little by little I hated how they made me feel like I wasn’t enough as is, so I started questioning them from a young age.
Alongside that questioning, I began growing in valuing pursuits that are centered around love instead. This initially came by connecting with loved ones and learning from my love-filled faith. It was solidified sometime between my experiences connecting with people in extreme poverty, finding joy in senior communities, and facing the brevity of life through my own chronic illnesses and medical trauma. Life is so much bigger than image.
I know that not everyone is going to like me or understand what I do, and that’s ok. But I can still bring my part in love.
When I’m focused on loving others, I don’t worry so much about what others think of me.
When I truly receive genuine love–from others and consistently from God–I feel like I can be my fullest self.
When I love myself, I see both my shortcomings and my strengths, and I know that both can bring a unique part to a place wherever I go… just like anyone else! We’re all just people who want to be loved… that should be enough for confidence.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
Along with being a songwriting musician, I am a Licensed Master Social Worker… which definitely impacts what I write! My music tends to be therapeutic and socially conscious. I am emotionally transparent to help connect our stories together, because my faith and social work research informs me that “connection brings healing.” I help people see the unseen, hear the unheard, and connect across divides. Along with sharing soulful alternative live music, I have released 3 EPs, and plan to begin recording again soon.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
3 Qualities —
Secure: I think an important question to ask ourselves occasionally is why do we do what we do. If it’s to remedy an insecurity, is there a better way to address it that shows ourselves love and grace? Are we seeking love or approval from our work, or is it an outpouring from already knowing we’re loved and valuable just because we exist? If you struggle in this area, I encourage you to connect with yourself, with safe others, and with the God of love.
Intentional: What do you bring that is unique? Will it make a difference for someone else to encounter you and your work? Will it help you? If you’re not sure what you’re doing, it may help to take some time to reflect on what you’ve been creating and the purpose of it. It could be some complex, multilayered deep purpose, or it could be as simple as “I create music people can dance to… because dancing makes us feel good!”
Teachable: Confidence and security is different than arrogance. Are you willing to stay humble so you can learn and grow as a creator and as a person? Comparison steals joy, but seeing value in what each person brings builds everyone up. I think we can learn something from anyone who is in our same line of work. If pride is an issue, start with finding people whose work you admire, who are farther along in the journey… then move into seeking to learn from people’s work who are in a similar point… then move into seeking to appreciate those whose work is only just beginning. You may be surprised at what you can learn from them!
Who is your ideal client or what sort of characteristics would make someone an ideal client for you?
My music tends to shine a light on the hidden parts of life, and build bridges where there’s disconnection. So for anyone like me, who wants to be valued for who they are, who might live a bit outside the box and struggle with being misunderstood, whose voice is less heard in a noisy world, who wants to feel like they’re not alone, who is trying to learn how to love themselves and others better, and live fully despite struggles… I make music for you.
Contact Info:
- Website: https://www.stefaniepotter.com
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stefaniepottermusic/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stefaniepottermusic/
- Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/stefaniepottermusic
- Other: https://stefaniepottermusic.bandcamp.com
Image Credits
Black & White: Hunter B Media Photography
Color: Havilah Whetstone Photography
so if you or someone you know deserves recognition please let us know here.
