We recently connected with Stephanie Scalise and have shared our conversation below.
Stephanie, so good to have you with us today. We’ve always been impressed with folks who have a very clear sense of purpose and so maybe we can jump right in and talk about how you found your purpose?
In July 2015, I went in for my yearly mammogram and subsequent biopsy and came out of that appointment knowing I had breast cancer. No, the doctor had not yet said those life-changing words, but the feeling of that particular biopsy was different, and so I just knew. When the call came 10 days later, the doctor was shocked that I knew what had taken him multiple tests to confirm. My middle daughter Lauren was in the car with me and could see an immediate change in my demeanor and voice as I immediately went into “get it done” mode. I sat there making calls to my husband, my mom, and my dad explaining that I had already made an appointment with my medical team for the following day. Right then and there, I was taking control of my medical treatment and ultimately my life. My purpose became evident: being around for my three daughters – at the time ages 11, 13, and 15.
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
The expression “making lemonade out of lemons” is one I like to use concerning my daughters as a result of my breast cancer journey. From the moment of that unforgettable phone call in the car in July 2015, my family’s life changed in so many ways. My aforementioned daughter Lauren had to write a personal narrative in her 8th grade English class, which was about her feelings and actions after my diagnosis. Although she was not supposed to have to read it in front of the class, she did and that forever changed her as a person. Her peers came up to her after and told her of their mom, sister, cousin, grandma’s experience with cancer and how her opening up helped them. That same night at dinner Strides for Survivors was born. Strides for Survivors is a 501(c) (3) started by my three daughters specifically to give back to the unique nonprofit TurningPoint Breast Cancer Rehabilitation, based in Sandy Springs, Georgia. It is the place they credit for giving them their mom back after cancer. The very first Strides for Survivors event in February 2017 showed all of us the need for a community that focuses on the essential survivorship elements of treatment after cancer and transitioning back into ‘normalcy’ with the support of physical therapy, fitness, counseling, nutrition, and education. Seven years later and more than $75,000 in donations benefiting TurningPoint, and we now are gearing up for our 8th Annual Strides for Survivors Walk to be held the morning of January 13, 2024, around Chastain Park’s 2.7 mile PATH in the Buckhead neighborhood of Atlanta.
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
First and foremost, listen to your body and speak up when you have questions. If I had chosen to listen to my doctors in my initial meeting, I would not be here today to talk about my journey. They had it so wrong and wanted to take the least invasive approach to treat what they deemed Stage 1 cancer. I vetoed that plan and went ahead with the most aggressive approach, and by doing so, saving my life from what turned out to be Stage 3 cancer.
Secondly, lean on your community. As a lifelong educator and type A personality, I am a giver and not a taker. I had the hardest time allowing others to help me and my family throughout our collective cancer journey. Once I relinquished control and allowed meals, rides for the girls, and grocery shopping from others, I was able to focus on my healing.
Third and most important moving forward, it is perfectly OK to say NO and instead, give yourself permission to let go of things that no longer serve you.
When I was preparing for my surgery and recovery, I did not realize I was volunteering on seven boards at the time. I immediately stepped down from those boards where I served just because I never left. Then I prioritized those that still had meaning for me and was able to walk away from the others without feeling guilty. Looking back, I have no idea how I had the time to do everything I was committed to doing, until I realized I was neglecting myself trying to keep up.
All the wisdom you’ve shared today is sincerely appreciated. Before we go, can you tell us about the main challenge you are currently facing?
The top challenge I continue to face is taking care of myself before others. I have virtually spent my entire life helping others and until my breast cancer journey, I never took any time for me. During my recovery I finally purged my life of all of the toxicity surround me both in terms of people and events. In May 2020, I finally made a commitment to myself and started with a personal trainer three times a week. This is clearly defined 100 percent as ‘ME’ time and in more than three years, I’ve only missed two times. I have to remember on a daily basis that I cannot help others if I’m not taking care of myself first and without holding onto any kind of guilt!
Contact Info:
- Website:stridesforsurvivors.org
- Instagram: Stridesforsurvivors
- Facebook: Stridesforsurvivors
- Linkedin: Stephanie Scalise
- Twitter: n/a
- Youtube: n/a
- Yelp: n/a
- SoundCloud: n/a
Image Credits
Elizabeth Clay- all photos except shaved head ( that’s Scalise Family photo)
