Meet Sue Day

We recently connected with Sue Day and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Sue, really happy you were able to join us today and we’re looking forward to sharing your story and insights with our readers. Let’s start with the heart of it all – purpose. How did you find your purpose?

I have ADHD. With that, I’ve never followed a traditional path. In fact, my path has been so full of twists and turns (and ups and downs), that I’ve received quite a bit of criticism for my changeability.

Now, I certainly haven’t done everything right, but my journey is what it has been and I am here because of it. And not only that, but despite appearances to the contrary, my purpose has always shone like a beacon in front of me. I’ve always wanted to make a positive difference in the world.

I’m not particularly different in that respect. An interesting thing about ADHDers: we are often driven by an outsized sense of justice and a strong urge to fight for our perception of ‘what’s right.’ In school, I didn’t believe I was being treated fairly and I knew the system wasn’t designed with my brain in mind (even before I was diagnosed). So I dropped out. In college I wanted to find a way to make education easier for brains like mine, but school after school disappointed my sense of justice and my understanding of the need for change.

And then I was introduced to outdoor education and a university that allowed me to create my own degree: ‘Outdoor Education For Social Change.’ My goal was to use outdoor experiences to help kids find their inner strengths and realize the power they held within themselves. I did a wonderful internship at a place called Women’s Outdoor Challenges. And then something happened. I used to say I chickened out, but now I think I just wasn’t ready yet.

So I changed course. I went into farming, and then business administration, and then I ran my own sustainable landscaping company, and then I worked in nonprofit financial leadership. At the 7-10 year mark of these careers, I would invariably get bored, or lose interest, or burn out. And that’s what happened in my last career. I was a finance director for small nonprofits for about 10 years. And a couple of years into covid I burned out. And then I got laid off.

I took it hard, but over time I came to see that it was one of the best things to ever happen to me.

I was so burned out. I wasn’t sleeping. My body hurt all the time. I ran a constant temperature of near 100. I had gained quite a bit of weight over the past few years, and my blood pressure was high. My brain was spinning and sensitive and I was even more emotional than I normally am.

As ADHDers, we tend not to be terribly interosceptive (we can’t feel what’s physically going on in our bodies) or introspective (we have a hard time understanding our emotions). And it wasn’t until I had time off that I realized I was feeling so emotionally and physically crappy.

But I did eventually, and as that realization came, it was joined with the realization that this was all related to my ADHD. When I realized all this was related to my ADHD I finally got a coach who helped me find the tools I needed to start healing and feeling better.

The work we did was so powerful! What was really impressive and effective for me was the work that we did started to draw me, and return some power to the voice I had lost. It was so impactful that I decided to become an ADHD coach myself.

And here I am. My body less of a painful shell and more of a cozy jacket. No longer needing to protect myself from myself, or from others so much. I’ve come into my own. And I’ve come full circle.

Now, as an ADHD coach, I again work with people to help them find, recognize, and honor themselves in all their pieces and all their strengths and all their themness. Just what I set out to do 25 years ago as a bright eyed and very unregulated 28 year old.

ADHD Coaching helps folks understand their own inner power, learn what it feels like to be happy with their strengths, to accept that they have needs, and even learn how to ask for help. I now love to observe people’s journeys. Reflecting back to them what I see as they learn how to take their armor off from the inside out. I am honored to see them learn how to love their inner beings and in that all of their layers. I love to see their flowers bloom, branches grow, and their roots spread.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

I now run Pathways Forward Coaching where I work with adult ADHDers who feel stuck and/or overwhelmed to access their strengths and passions in order to move into their favorite lives.

If you’re interested in 1:1 coaching, or just want to chat about ADHD for a bit, feel free to schedule a free discovery call on my website below.

And though I truly love and am inspired by 1:1 coaching with my clients, I have realized I want to be able to spread this inspiration farther. I want to make the positive impacts of ADHD coaching accessible to everyone who wants them. And though I offer a generous sliding scale and even do some pro bono work, finances are not the only reason why one may not be able to access coaching (and I only have so much time to coach folks 1:1).

Sometimes something else is getting in the way. Sometimes folks are more comfortable or are seeking more community and enjoy a group experience. Sometimes one isn’t ready to share their journey with anyone else yet.

In that vein I have written a book: ADHD Brilliance: A Journey Into Your Extraordinary Brain. It’s one part accessible and research backed overview of ADHD, and one part transformative journey and deep dive (with worksheets) into your strengths, values, passions, and needs along with a way to resource the tools you need to be successful in your efforts.

I currently also offer free group coaching on Thursday evenings.

You can find me, my book, and just about everything I do on my website: https://pathwaysforwardcoaching.com/

And please follow me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pathwaysforwardcoaching/
and/or Linked In https://www.linkedin.com/in/sue-day/

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

We all carry great strengths throughout our lives, though those strengths may very well go unnoticed. Two of my current favorites have been lifelong friends (that have also evolved over time, as friendships do):

1. Growth Mindset: Knowing that I am not limited in my skills and that I can experiment, and fail, and learn, and stretch has been key to each turn in my journey. I almost lost that at the last job of my last career. But I actually learned something valuable from that as well. I can both have a growth mindset and allow myself to be discouraged from time to time (not always just ‘buck-up’ and tackle the next challenge). I have finally learned (at 50, that being able to take the time to heal from a blow AND accepting the help I need in order to do that is crucial).

2. Flexibility and resilience: I am good at switching gears, pivoting, and bouncing back. These things have served me well in many ways (and I’ve recently noticed that doing these things with more thought and intention is even more powerful);

And my third is a much newer understanding:

3. Knowing that my brain lies to me: My newest understanding – that I wish I had known more thoroughly most of my life – is that my brain lies to me. I gained this understanding partly through textbook learning. But I didn’t learn to embody it until I started to learn how to fully listen and be present with the people I was coaching.

As I learned how to actively listen with my only goal being to provide an unbiased reflection of what I was hearing, I started to understand how much judgement I inadvertently placed on myself and others.

I’m not saying I shouldn’t listen to my intuition (us ADHDers are often extremely intuitive), but that I can’t just blindly ‘listen’ without thinking about judgements and/or stories I might be telling myself.

I can’t tell you which strengths you should note and practice. We are all unique and our minds all work differently. However, as stated earlier, I firmly believe that we all carry a great many strengths on our journeys, but those strengths often go un-noticed and uncelebrated.

My best advice to everyone is to start noticing when we’re doing something well, when we’ve made someone smile, when we’ve felt at home in our bodies and our minds. And don’t just notice it. Try to document it in some way.

A good place to start would be an evening practice of some sort (voice recording, video log, sketch, or writing). Take a minute to think back on your day and note what felt good about it. It doesn’t need to be anything big. Maybe you just held a door for someone, or let someone go first in traffic. Or maybe someone noticed something about you that made you feel good. Or perhaps you worked on a project that you were excited about. It can be anything, big or small.

Record those glimmers in your day. And if you can, take it a step further and note what you think that glimmer says about you.

Finally, if you really can’t think of glimmers, try to start with gratitude. What are you thankful for today? Over time, I bet you’ll start being able to see those glimmers and attribute them to your strengths.

How can folks who want to work with you connect?

My mission is to increase true understanding of all things ADHD and to help ADHDers live in their strengths. I truly believe that ADHD can be one’s biggest asset. But it impacts just about every aspect of our lives and it’s HARD to live with without the support we need. And there are so many people, especially women, who are undiagnosed. With that and the need to counter the misinformation and flippancy that permeates many people’s understanding of ADHD, there is no way I’d be able to further my mission without the help and collaboration of others in the field (or out of the field for that matter).

If you’re interested in a collaboration with me, I’m happy to work with folks on educational events, guest blogging (yours or mine), interviews (live or recorded), and just about anything else you can think of. Feel free to reach out via email or message me on Linked In if you’re interested in chatting further.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://pathwaysforwardcoaching.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pathwaysforwardcoaching/
• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pathwaysforward/
• Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sue-day/