We recently connected with SunAh Laybourn and have shared our conversation below.
SunAh, thank you so much for joining us today. Let’s jump right into something we’re really interested in hearing about from you – being the only one in the room. So many of us find ourselves as the only woman in the room, the only immigrant or the only artist in the room, etc. Can you talk to us about how you have learned to be effective and successful in situations where you are the only one in the room like you?
Being Asian American and growing up in the South and now being back in the South, there have been and continue to be many times where I am the “only one.” This is compounded by the fact that we, as a nation, know very little about Asian America’s past and present, and what we do know has often been a misrepresentation of the vast richness, struggles, and contributions of Asians in America. All to say, though I am acutely aware of how I might be perceived or even misperceived, I do not allow that to stop me from showing up as my full self.
It would be easy to feel a bit of imposter syndrome, defensiveness, or loneliness when entering into spaces as the only Asian American woman. I must admit, sometimes I have, especially when people question why I’m there or provide less than a warm welcome. But, what I do to shift those feelings into empowerment is this: 1. I focus on being present in the present moment. That means not letting what ifs or worst case scenarios play out in my mind; 2. I remind myself of my expertise. I am in these spaces because I have evidence of my skills, talents, and contributions.; 3. I stay focused on why I’m there. What is my purpose for being there? and 3. I find the common connections I have with people in the room.
But being able to navigate existing spaces is not enough.
What I’ve learned through a lifetime of being the “only one,” is that sometimes you gotta create your own space. For that, there’s a different skillset required. You have to have the mindset that you can create what you wish to see. You have to disregard any doubts that other people have in your vision. And, you have to build with the people who are enthusiastic about building with you. And, that’s how I was able to organize Memphis’s first month-long celebration of Asian American & Pacific Islander Heritage Month.
Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?
In 2023, I organized Memphis’s first month-long celebration of Asian American & Pacific Islander Heritage Month. AAPI Heritage Month Memphis is an initiative to promote and celebrate AAPI cultures, communities, and identities across Memphis and the Mid-South in order to build relationships that serve as a foundation for working together to create an equitable, thriving future for all.
This initiative is imperative in a city where the Asian American population is less than 2% but has an over 150 year history in our community. It is also crucial if we are serious about moving Memphis forward.
There is so much advice out there about all the different skills and qualities folks need to develop in order to succeed in today’s highly competitive environment and often it can feel overwhelming. So, if we had to break it down to just the three that matter most, which three skills or qualities would you focus on?
As I reflect back on the month of events and the positive impact in had on the Memphis community, there were a few things that made it possible – my existing community relationships, having the audacity to ask, not being afraid of rejection, and creating actionable plans. When planning events, particularly events for the broader community, having existing community relationships was key. It made finding community partners or collaborators easier because we already shared a level of trust and similar visions in terms of community impact.
While the relationship piece is external, the other three are internal. I believe in the adage, if you don’t ask, the answer is always no. We can’t take ourselves out of the race before it has even started. So ask! Ask for partnerships, collaborators, sponsors, investors. Tied to that is not being afraid of rejection. I realize that a lot of people don’t ask for what they want or need because they’re afraid the answer will be no and that receiving a no is a blow to their self-esteem. I, on the other, get nervous when I don’t have a lot of recent no’s because to me that signals that either I haven’t been asking enough or that I’ve been aiming too small. Rejection is simply part of life. The sooner you can accept that and know that rejection isn’t a reflection of your worth, the better. Finally, you have to create an actionable plan. I have experience in event planning and goal coaching, both of which served me well in this capacity. But, even if you don’t already have those skills, you can become better at planning and executing plans or if necessary, find someone who has that skillset. You don’t have to be an expert at every component of every thing.
How can folks who want to work with you connect?
I’m absolutely looking for people to partner with! I’m already in the planning stages for Memphis’s AAPI Heritage Month 2024 celebration. If you’d like to become a sponsor, volunteer, or otherwise get involved, please reach out at [email protected]
Contact Info:
- Website: aapiheritagemonthmemphis.com
- Instagram: aapiheritagemonthmemphis
Image Credits
Ziggy Mack
