Meet Sydney

We were lucky to catch up with Sydney recently and have shared our conversation below.

Hi Sydney, really appreciate your meeting with us today to talk about some particularly personal topics. It means a lot because so many in the community are going through circumstances where your insights and experience and lessons might help, so thank you so much in advance for sharing. The first question we have is about divorce and how you overcame divorce and didn’t allow the trauma of divorce to derail your vision for your life and career.

I’ve been divorced twice. For a long time, I let my divorces define me. I didn’t trust myself anymore. I thought divorce meant the best part of my life had already passed me by, so I moved through life like that was true. I lived through the rearview mirror, constantly afraid of making the same mistakes again.

Then, I started to shift my focus toward my goals and the kind of example I wanted to set for my kids. With the help of a mentor, I paid less attention to what I didn’t want & spent more time intentionally creating a life I was proud of. I loosed the chains that had bound me when I created an identity from my divorces. I finally started looking forward with excitement instead of the fear and dread I was used to. And, I came to a kind of happy-sad realization. For the first time, I truly loved myself.

I actually got engaged this summer! My fiancé is understanding of what I’ve been through. He wants to be by my side through the growth journey we’re both on, and he loves my kids. At first, I was (understandably) a little nervous that it would turn out the same way other relationships had. Over time, I realized I was safe to let the trust I had built in myself spill over into my relationship with him. His words and actions align. And he is constantly showing me he is invested in creating a life with me.

Great, so let’s take a few minutes and cover your story. What should folks know about you and what you do?

I started my coaching business 2 years ago when I realized how little support there is for women post-divorce. As a result, so many women are afraid to date after divorce. They clear on what they don’t want and their history tells them that’s all that is available to them. The reality is they need to learn how to trust themselves and see the proof that they create their own story. Life is far from over when a marriage ends. It’s simply the beginning of a new and beautiful chapter.

The truth is, I’ve had a lot of fun since my divorce. I gave myself permission to enjoy my life, magnetize what I want, and stop feeling bad about my growth. I absolutely love supporting other women to get through the same shifts!

Right now I offer 1:1 coaching and I have a couple of e-books available to help single women discover how to lighten the load they carry in motherhood & discover how to find an amazingly supportive relationship after divorce.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

1. A drive for growth.
I didn’t wait around for my life to just magically improve. I’ve put myself out there in a lot of uncomfortable ways. There have been a lot of really hard times, and even more amazing times as I’ve learned to put my focus there. I’ve experienced and seen so many wonderful transformations already… and I’m just getting started!
– My advice for growth is to understand that growth doesn’t look the same for any 2 people. When you know what you want and you’re determined to get it, you’ll figure out a way to make it happen.

2. Discover your ‘why’.
My kids have always been the main reason behind everything I do. I’ve started setting goals with a few other people in mind, too. Now I also want to show the younger versions of me what’s possible–that all the negative self-talk was wrong. And I will keep sharing my story because I don’t want other women to feel the way I felt. I choose to continue on this journey for each of them.
– My advice for discovering your ‘why’ is to really figure out who you want to help and whose lives will be improved by sharing your gifts. You can go a lot further once you know why you’re doing things in the first place.

3. Understand you don’t need to do it all on your own.
For so long, I didn’t trust myself. So, of course, I couldn’t trust anybody else either. I didn’t want to rely on anyone else for anything. And thought the only way things would get done was if I did them myself. I ended up with major burnout. I had to become teachable and learn how to stop shouldering burdens entirely by myself.
– My advice here is to surround yourself with others who have a similar mindset. Accept help and support when you need it. And tune into yourself so you know when you need a break. It’s okay to not be superwoman.

Before we go, any advice you can share with people who are feeling overwhelmed?

I’m currently juggling being a single mom of 2, working full time, running my own business, and planning a wedding. I used to feel overwhelmed a lot. I’ve learned that some things are more important than others. I’d rather do the important things well than get everything ‘done’ but not feel like I was doing my best in any area.

It’s important to remember there are a million things you could do at any given moment. A lot of them are good things, and maybe even important in some way. Prioritizing what you feel is most important at the time will keep you from getting overwhelmed. Make sure that the way you prioritize things feels good to you. The pace doesn’t matter. Not everything is urgent. Things will get done.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://inbloomcoach.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/inbloom_coach/
• Other: Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3eiyaF2MVLziY8LM0c6wHW

Image Credits

Jenni Ludlow, Megan Christensen