Meet Tanieka Clarke

We’re excited to introduce you to the always interesting and insightful Tanieka Clarke. We hope you’ll enjoy our conversation with Tanieka below.

Tanieka, we are so happy that our community is going to have a chance to learn more about you, your story and hopefully even take in some of the lessons you’ve learned along the way. Let’s start with self-care – what do you do for self-care and has it had any impact on your effectiveness?

Let me first start off by saying that I had no idea how crucial these two words: “self-care” mattered in how effective or ineffective I would be.

I was always into “self-care” because I grew up in a house full of women and for a long time I thought it involved only the superficial stuff like getting your nails done and having great skincare that defined those two words. If I’m being honest, I was motivated to take care of myself for all the wrong reasons; beauty only. I was only driven to do whatever I had to do to look good. Needless to say I “adulted” and realized really quickly that without meaningful self-care, the superficial stuff didn’t even matter.

So today my self-care looks like:

1. Saying no to the things that I used to readily say yes to because I have to first ask myself “does the particular thing I’m responding to fuel my purpose and my God-given journey?”

2. Saying yes to the things I need to say yes to even when I don’t feel like it because I have a clear picture of where I’m headed and that’s where my focus is.

3. Setting up constant reminders of the bigger picture so I don’t ONLY get caught up in the right now.

4. Making room so that I can be spontaneous in the right now and stop and smell the roses.

5. Recently implementing lots of checklists and writing EVERYTHING down that I possibly can so that I don’t have to carry my responsibilities and thoughts all in my head, adding undue stress.

6. Actually checking off my lists to fuel my own confidence in my ability to get things done and respecting myself enough to do them.

7. Giving attention to my beauty and wellness so that I not only look good but feel good as well. Also, always doing a heart check to make sure I’m doing it for me first rather than to simply please others.
They get to benefit from how good I feel about me.

8. Praying is the most important self-care item on my list. I literally pray about and through 1-7 thoroughly and fervently because my clarity, direction and even my mental health comes from
giving it all to God and allowing Him to give back to Me, His design for my life and ever so carefully and beautifully unraveling the gift that my life is regardless of what is or is not happening.

Thanks, so before we move on maybe you can share a bit more about yourself?

As an actress and wellness enthusiast, these days I’ve been speaking a lot more and it has been both exciting and therapeutic for me. Late last year on the heels of my younger cousin passing by way of a tragic car accident, I was scheduled to speak the weekend of his funeral and it was both a meaningful and pleasant responsibility to be able to shift the focus off of me, my heartbreak and concerns about family and their heartbreak, to speaking positivity to a room full of individuals who would hear what I had to say.

In addition to speaking more, wellness has always been a huge part of my journey so as I navigate my purpose in life as an actress, storyteller, producer etc…, I have a newfound commitment to inspire others to be well (holistically) and I plan to use my influence, wellness brands such as Arbonne, and my platforms to do just that.

Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?

Being bold or fearless is one quality that comes to mind which feels crazy to even think about much less mention. I’ve been so afraid too often in my life phew! but when I think about it today it’s probably because I’m often the one amongst the people I personally know to either be the first to step out on faith with ventures, ideas, on camera and or in front of a large crowd OR the person to do the things that most people only speak or think about doing but never actually do. I believe with no refrain that every time I’ve been able do so it’s been because of my belief in God. He is where I pull strength from and find myself doing the unthinkable, the seemingly crazy or the impossible….even with my heart pounding out of my chest from fear at times might I add.

The second thing that comes to mind is a skill and I’m not sure where I picked it up but it’s probably from my parents and seeing their resilience over time. It’s the ability to bounce back from the craziest circumstances and see the bigger picture. This has impacted every aspect of my life tremendously.

Third on the list is my recount of an epiphany I had while speaking with a former manager in the Real Estate industry. For me this one fits into the areas of knowledge category. Years before meeting him, he had had what some would call a “near death” experience except he did stop breathing for some time but pulled through which set him on a recourse to make some critical changes in his life. By the time I met him, he was a prolific speaker and positive leader who shared his story powerfully.

In one of our many many conversations, he asked me what were my top ten goals or desires. When I shared them he casually looked at me with the straightest face and in his fast-speaking Hispanic accent said something to the extent of “are you insane?!” Or these goals are admirable but insane! I don’t remember his words verbatim. I just remember thinking to myself in response to him “I gave you thee BEST goals/desires from the purest place of my heart. Long story short, I had to hear what he was about to say next because just why?
To sum it all up, the goals/desires that I shared with him left me at the bottom. For him, because of what he had been through, if I didn’t have my health, nothing on that list mattered because I wouldn’t be around for any of it.
In that moment that the weight of being in good health mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, holistically, hit me. The knowledge of what my overall health meant made my well-being become a non-negotiable for me from that day forward. It’s still a journey but I’m learning to get better and better at it daily.

So for the folks who are navigating their life’s purpose or who are on a journey of self-discovery, my top three would be:
1. Truly give God the reins of your life.
2. Cry but not for long
3. Prioritize your holistic health.
You need You to be well and everyone needs you to be well, especially the people that need you.

Any advice for folks feeling overwhelmed?

Yes. I do these three things whether I’m overwhelmed or not but especially when I’m overwhelmed:

Pray, rest and dance

Many view prayer simply as a petition or request to God and so did I in my early years but I’ve found that He speaks too. And it is much more fulfilling to hear Him speak than hear myself telling Him about my woes. So, I talk to Him a lot and make sure to be intentional about listening to Him too.

When I feel overwhelmed, I make the sometimes hard choice to rest and that doesn’t always look like me lounging or laying down. I might pause and purposefully sit and scroll through Pinterest because that inspires me. I might put some “feel-good” music on and hop in the shower jamming through my little shower speaker or if I’m able to, I might just go to the beach.
A lot of times rest is far more mental than physical. Fortunately our physical state can help us rest but if our minds are all over the place our attempt at rest can be an effort in futility.

Dancing. It is a game changer. The same way sad music alters one’s mood is the same way if not more so, putting on a beautiful song (any genre) and moving my body freely to it alters the way I feel.
It’s an escape for a moment.

If I can provide any advice or strategies on these, it would be to first decide that you get to choose how you respond to overwhelm. Deciding is powerful! No one can take your decision from you. Once you’ve decided, create a space mentally and physically where you can pause for a very short or long moment and do any of these or what works best for you without outside “noise.”

Make it a point to put these on your schedule and create a habit of doing them. The more you do it, the shorter the overwhelm sometimes lasts depending on how dire the situation. Practice makes perfect and prevention is truly better than cure.

Contact Info:

• Website: https://tanc.arbonne.com/
• Instagram: IamTanieka

Image Credits

Kim Ruoff