We recently connected with Tara McBride and have shared our conversation below.
Tara, thanks so much for taking the time to share your insights and lessons with us today. We’re particularly interested in hearing about how you became such a resilient person. Where do you get your resilience from?
At 33, I got married to the love of my life and thought getting pregnant would be super easy. That’s what I saw on social media so I assumed it would be a piece of cake. I struggled with conceiving for over 2 years and negative test after negative test, I was completely at a loss for what to do. We had tried everything (all the “just do this” advice – “just relax,” “just get drunk”, etc.). Nothing had worked and I was starting to question my worth and purpose.
I finally booked an appointment with a fertility clinic to check under the hood and found out that I had a very low egg reserve and low follicle count. At age 35, it was news that no woman wanted to hear. The doctor suggested that we do IVF. Never in my wildest imagination would I thought this is how we would conceive and it took me to a dark place for several weeks but ultimately, we decided to take the leap. It took a lot of faith, a ton of strength, mindset shifts and resilience but after 97 shots, 2 procedures and a whole lot of hope, we got our miracle baby and our son was born September 2023!
Appreciate the insights and wisdom. Before we dig deeper and ask you about the skills that matter and more, maybe you can tell our readers about yourself?
I have been in HR and recruiting for several years before I found my passion in health & wellness. This all started with my own health journey when I decided I was sick of my own excuses and embarked on a health journey, losing 55 lbs and getting my life back. I saw firsthand how prioritizing your health can have a profound impact on your entire life – in every aspect. I coached women all over the world for a few years on how to sustain a balanced lifestyle without crash dieting.
I’m now in a bit of a different chapter, all prompted by my infertility journey. It was a huge testament on just how important your mindset and prioritizing self care is. I wouldn’t have gotten through my IVF journey if I didn’t first choose to think about it differently. It saved me and it also got us to our miracle baby.
As tough as this journey was, I fell down and got right back up at each twist and turn. I am currently working on offerings and support for women who are going through fertility treatment, pregnancy & postpartum because there isn’t enough support here. More to come soon but to stay tuned, follow me at @thewellnesswarrior on Instagram!
Looking back, what do you think were the three qualities, skills, or areas of knowledge that were most impactful in your journey? What advice do you have for folks who are early in their journey in terms of how they can best develop or improve on these?
Cultivating a positive mindset, finding your tribe & reducing stress!
Mindset was everything for me! When I initially heard the words “IVF would be the best route for you if you want to become a mother,” I fell apart. I immediately went into a spiral and didn’t have a super positive outlook on the path ahead. Luckily I was able to talk to a good friend (who I now call my IVF angel) and she said “yes IVF is one of the toughest journeys you will ever go on but it absolutely can work and how you choose to think about it impact’s everything.” That was the reality check I needed and from there on, I did the work to make sure my mindset was positive (while allowing myself to break down when needed, no journey is perfect and emotion is all apart of the process). It’s also important to maintain hope – when you’re in the thick of things, it’s super tough to keep the faith that things will work out. Luckily I’m super into manifestation and the power of positive thinking – I kept telling myself that miracles can and DO happen. I was next. I never gave up and used meditation, affirmations and breathwork as tools to keep my hope strong. I also filtered out any “noise” around IVF failure, loss and negative experiences including online forums. Protecting your peace and establishing boundaries during this time is crucial.
Finding your tribe – it is imperative that you find at least one partner, a trusted support group or a friend to support you during your fertility journey. I had a few close people who I was comfortable sharing openly with, including someone that had a positive experience with IVF, and this was a game changer. It really helped me keep going when I had my hard days and it also helped to have space held for me without unsolicited advice or judgment.
Reducing stress – it’s imperative to reduce stress where you can when trying to conceive although it sounds counterintuitive. There is so much research that supports this. Fertility treatment is stressful enough so I really focused on reducing stress in every other area possible. I focused a lot on my mental health, tapping into my mindfulness toolkit (breath, meditation, affirmations), engaging in self care, establishing healthy boundaries and finding joy wherever possible.
There are so many other things that helped me get through this journey but these things come top of mind.
How can folks who want to work with you connect?
Whether you are trying to conceive, on your fertility journey, going through pregnancy and recovering postpartum, I want to connect with you (and if you are a company supporting these paths). There isn’t enough support in these areas and you can often get lost in the negativity online. Wherever you are at in life, I hope to be a beacon of hope and a warm friend. Finding the right support system really saved me these past few years when I was going through so many shifts and challenges. Please connect with me on Instagram @thewellnesswarrior
I also have a free Navigating IVF guide on my Instagram for anyone who would find it helpful!
Contact Info:
Image Credits
@suzhillphotography @poppyandbellephotos
