Meet Tatiana Chams

We were lucky to catch up with Tatiana Chams recently and have shared our conversation below.

Tatiana, we’re thrilled to have you on our platform and we think there is so much folks can learn from you and your story. Something that matters deeply to us is living a life and leading a career filled with purpose and so let’s start by chatting about how you found your purpose.

From February 2015 – September 22, 2019 I was in an abusive relationship. During that time I was held hostage, physically, mentally, and emotionally abused and tortured. I had endured physical abuse that I, realistically, should not have survived, and even had a near-death experience. God got me out. I knew that I wanted to help other victims and survivors, by sharing my story, to show others that life can get better after abuse and there is hope. I truly believe God saved me so that I can help others.

Thanks for sharing that. So, before we get any further into our conversation, can you tell our readers a bit about yourself and what you’re working on?

I share my story across social media, primarily on TikTok. I talk about the abuse I endured, how I escaped, what my life was like during the abuse and how it is presently. I did take some time away to concentrate on my day job but realized my passion lies within my purpose. My ex controlled and censored me, for so long, so after my Freedom Day (September 22, 2019) I was finally “Free To Be Tatiana”, which is what I go by on social media. I have been trying my best to experience different things that life can bring and discover what makes me happy. I have always dreamt of owning a clothing line. Previously I did have a merch line but am in the process of starting a clothing line called “Tatiana’s Reverie”, proving dreams can become a reality. I aim to do content creation full-time, sharing my story, writing a book, and running my business.

If you had to pick three qualities that are most important to develop, which three would you say matter most?

1. Adapt
In my situation, I had to adapt to my surroundings and the unpredictable behavior of my abuser and his family. My behavior had to change for my survival. No matter what was going on, I had to think and react quickly or face consequences. Learning to adapt quickly is a skill that can be both beneficial, in all areas of your life, but also can be life-saving.

2. Plan
When in a stressful situation, it is very easy to react on impulse, however, depending on your situation, that can be a very dangerous move. No two situations will be alike. It is very important to plan your moves carefully. I have learned to have a plan, a backup plan, and a backup for my backup. Planning isn’t always easy, or even possible (depending on your situation), but highly recommended for safety and a better chance at success.

3. Visualize
It is very easy to get discouraged and feel like you will never escape or that life won’t get better. But the reality is, it can. I would daydream about what I wanted to do in life. I would think about the people I wanted to see, the things I wanted to do, the life that I wanted. I knew that the life I was experiencing was not the one I was meant to have. My dreams are what kept me going. When I had truly reached what I thought to be my end, that was when God opened the door for my escape leading me to my new life. It is important to visualize what you want and strive for that goal. Don’t ever give up. When I was kicked down, literally, I got back up, no matter how many times it happened or when I felt my body was going to give up on me, I kept thinking “One day, I will get out of here and have the life I deserve.”

If you knew you only had a decade of life left, how would you spend that decade?

Due to the trauma, I have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Moderately Severe Recurrent Major Depression, Insomnia, and Borderline Personality Disorder. My mental health is a daily struggle. Some days are better than others but I can say I have gotten much better than I was before. I am currently working on identifying my triggers, how to cope and work my way through episodes, and doing my best to live a normal healthy life. I am constantly learning more about myself and seeing how important it is to hear what others experience with me so that I may better identify my behavior and work on improving myself.

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